With Game of Thrones and Mad Men over, I kind of just forgot about Sunday night television. I couldn’t figure out what was so pleasant about last night until I woke up this morning and remembered–True Blood. My arch-nemesis!
And without further adieu let us suffer through the five best (worst?) telenovela faces in last night’s episode, “Authority Always Wins.”
1. Alcide doesn’t want to turn into a wolf and eat a dead dude’s flesh right off of his still-warm carcass? Well this obviously reasonable man in a Canadian tuxedo thinks that’s just not cool, man.
2. NO MOM YOU CAN’T MAKE ME EAT MY VEGETABLES PACK MASTER.
3. For the first time in this show’s entire run, I would like to subscribe to Tara’s newsletter.
4. Ladies and gentlemen, Academy Award winning actress Anna Paquin.
5. Detective Stabler has really moved up in the world. First an under-appreciated sex crimes detective in gritty New York City, now a head vampire in an ugly, though probably expensive, pinstripe suit. OK maybe “moved up” isn’t the way to describe it.
And some honorable non-face mentions:
This painting is the best actor on the show.
The Vampire Bible predates the Old and New Testaments. UGGGHHHHHHHH this show is terrible.
There’s a child serving on the Authority. Get it? Because vampires are immortal? TRUE BLOOD YOU ARE SO CLEVER.
I’ll see you all again next week! Unfortunately!
