The queens enter the workroom singing “Jesus is a Biscuit” and are generally in high spirits. “To my bitches, love y’all to death,” Jiggly has scrawled in lipstick on the mirror. Willam says: “At least the lipstick’s on the mirror and not on her teeth for once.” Rimshot! Willam isn’t really feeling humbled by having to lip-synch, probably because she was up against Certified Hot Mess, Jiggly. Sharon admits she might have to try a look without her contacts, which I respect. As much as it’s her signature thing, she really does listen to the judges.
You’ve Got She-Mail & Mini Challenge
Two RuPauls appear side by side on the screen and get catty with one another. Ru says to keep your enemies close but your frenemies closer. Uh oh.
The mini challenge this week is more of a preface to the main challenge. The queens are hooked up to a lie detector (you know Polly Graph, as Ru says) and asked a series of questions regarding their feelings about the other queens. They’re paired up based on who they have the least in common with.
Main Challenge
The pairs must create a nightclub act with their frenemy, and they’ll be singing live. The pairs are:
Phi Phi O’Hara and Sharon Needles
Latrice Royale and Willam
DiDa Ritz and Chad Michaels
When Ru visits the workroom, Chad and DiDa trade some shade. DiDa calls Chad old, and Chad says DiDa is not afraid to fail and fall on her face. Sharon and PhiPhi are definitely clashing, as expected. Phi Phi is singing in some parody of an opera voice, and Sharon is shrieking in a heavy metal voice. Willam is definitely confident since she’s in a band and regularly sings, and she and Latrice generally seem to be working together the best of all of them.
Phi Phi talks mad shet about Willam, says she’ll go home if it comes down to her and Latrice lip-synching. DiDa agrees.
In rehearsal, Willam and Latrice do pretty well but clearly need some more practice. Chad and DiDa are a mess. Sharon and Phi Phi are not gelling at all. Phi Phi is still doing her Mariah Carey opera voice, and Sharon seems unsure of herself. Hm.
Willam keeps to herself while they’re preparing for the Main Stage. Something definitely seems wrong. As the queens talk about their drag families, Willam admits she doesn’t have a drag family and wishes she had the friendships the other queens do.
Main Stage
Judges are Michelle Visage, Lucian Piane, Jennifer Tilly and Pamela Anderson.
Latrice and Willam definitely have chemistry. They’re funny and never stumble or forget their lines.
Phi Phi and Sharon have some chemistry, but they aren’t really funny. The judges don’t laugh, and neither do we.
DiDa and Chad come last. DiDa is so nervous that her voice is shaking, and the act feels uncomfortable.
“America’s Got Talent has nothing on this show,” Pamela Anderson says before critiques begin. Amen, Pamela. It seems like a tossup between DiDa and Chad and Phi Phi and Sharon. The judges definitely seem to have the most criticism for Phi Phi and Sharon. Uh oh!
Unsurprisingly, Willam and Latrice win.
Lip-Synch for your Life
Sharon and Phi Phi are in the bottom and must lip-synch to stay in the competition.
Sharon is a fierce competitor. She lip-synchs well. Phi Phi’s routine is based more on frenetic dancing. When the time comes for Ru to make her decision, Willam is called forward, and Ru says she must send her home for breaking the rules of the competition. WHUT? What is this?! It’s not explained. At all. Bullshit!
Untucked
In the Interior Illusions Lounge, Sharon is scared because she knows she and Phi Phi got the most criticism.
In the Gold Bar, Phi Phi is blaming everything that went wrong on Sharon.
Back in the Interior Illusions Lounge, Sharon gets emotional, thinking this might be the end of the line for her. Chad asks Latrice how it was to work with Willam. It’s revealed that some of the queens wanted Latrice to throw her performance so she could send Willam home. Oh shet. I was so sure Phi Phi was the most hated, but apparently they weren’t so fond of Willam either.
Back in the Gold Bar, Willam says she was very happy to work with Latrice. Willam and Phi Phi get into it and Phi Phi blows up. “Your tone seems very pointed right now.” Finally! Except we can’t even enjoy this moment because we desperately want to know what fucking rules Willam broke to cause her to get kicked off the show.
Phi Phi and DiDa join the other queens in the Interior Illusions Lounge, and some more shet is talked about Willam. Willam joins the queens, and Phi Phi confronts Willam. Again. Latrice is loving it.
Ru sends the queens into the Gold Bar. Pamela Anderson joins the queens. They laugh and joke, lightening the mood a bit. “Break a lash,” Pam tells the queens.
So. They never actually tell us what happened. But! I remembered that Willam was on Johnny McGovern’s podcast, and I might not be remembering accurately since this was a couple weeks ago, BUT I think two things came up that could possibly explain what happened. One is that I remember her talking about smoking green and/or drinking surreptitiously on set. Maybe that’s not such a big deal? I also think she said something about “sneaking away” to see someone (maybe her boyfriend?), and as you probably know, during filming of shows like this, contestants are bound by contract to remain in isolation. That’s all I can think of. Does anyone out there know? I can’t stand the thought that I’ll have to wait for the finale/reunion to find out.
C.U.N.T. and C U Next Tuesday
Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent: Since we’re down to the final six, it’s time to start naming one person the standout, and that person this week was Latrice Royale. She rose to the challenge, looked great, and stepped outside her comfort zone with grace and poise.
C U Next Tuesday: Phi Phi O’Hara. She wasn’t quite as insufferable as she normally is, but I think it’s mostly the scandal of Willam’s elimination that made Phi Phi seem less cunty.
Well, until next week, sweeties.
