Injuries happen every year, yet this year the bug has seemed to bite the quarterback position particularly hard. The Houston Texans are starting TJ Yates, who I swear played eight collegiate seasons at North Carolina. The Chiefs are starting Tyler Palko, a guy who was cut from the United Football League’s California Redwoods in 2009. If you looked at the Week 13 starters in the NFL Rex Grossman wouldn’t even be in the bottom five, and that’s quite a thing.
Jay Cutler’s injury in Chicago was particularly damning considering the backup situation in the Windy City. When the less dreamy half of CutCav went down with a sprained thumb (no comment on how it got that way), Caleb Hanie stepped into the starting role. The Bears, one of the most storied NFL franchises, is now led by a guy whose college career was so insignificant it gets one line on his wikipedia page: “He played college football at Colorado State.” (The rookie third stringer, Nathan Enderle out of Idaho, has a whole section dedicated to his college career.) Still, the brass in Chicago believed in him. His first start was a loss to the Raiders in which he threw two touchdown passes and three interceptions. His second start was this Sunday, and the 10-3 loss to Palko’s Chiefs was so putrid that the radio announcers were trying to think of things to talk about between plays.
Among all the yelling about the Bears’ quarterback situation, one solitary tweet emerged. It was from a writer in Mississippi who said that “a source” close to a certain former quarterback in Mississippi would listen if the Bears called. Not that they had called, or even would, or had any interest, but this “source” just wanted to throw that out there. Of course the quarterback, and probably the “source” close to him as well, is none other than never-going-the-hell-away Brett Favre.
Whether he’s a guy who just wants to be in the spotlight or the last grasp of an old wizard trying to show the world he still has magic left, Brett just won’t shut up and stay the hell retired. Everyone knows the story of his forcing out of Green Bay, the washout with the Jets, the one glory season with my beloved Vikings ending with a forced interception that was vintage Favre followed by a disaster of a season that left the Vikings in a lurch with a team they’d built to make one good run. Each time a Favre comeback is mentioned, I can’t help but think of how I felt when I learned that Favre, a player that I’d loathed with all of my being, would be captaining my team.
As part of my contribution to the Crasstalk DoST, I’ve reposted here what I originally wrote last August, before Favre was set to start his second season with the team and, according to Favre, his last in the NFL. The season was a disaster both for Favre and for the Vikings. A far cry from the 12-4 season that saw the Vikings an overtime loss from the Super Bowl, Minnesota finished 6-10 and was Favre’s worst career season. His consecutive start streak was snapped due to a sprained shoulder, and his career was effectively ended in a loss to the Bears after sustaining a concussion.
From TheOtherTyler:
“Are you there, God? It’s me, Bart Simpson. I know I never paid attention at church, but I could really use some of that good stuff now. I’m…afraid. I’m afraid some weirdo’s got my soul and I don’t know what they’re doing to it! I just want it back. Please? Oh, I hope you can hear this.”- Bart Simpson from “Bart Sells His Soul
$5. That’s all it took for Bart to write “Bart Simpson’s soul” on a piece of paper and give it to Milhouse. $5 might be a lot of money in Springfield, but was it really worth it? Suddenly Bart became a shell of his former self – unable to laugh, play, or enjoy the things that he always had. He quickly realizes he’s made a mistake. He even has a nightmare that every child in Springfield has a soul, and they all make fun of him because he’s the only kid without one. Bart begs Milhouse to sell him his soul back, but each time Milhouse raises the price. The moral of the story? If you sell your soul for short-term gain, you usually end up without the gain or your soul, and the person holding your soul can make your life miserable.
To anyone who follows the Minnesota Vikings, this plot should seem awfully familiar.
For the second consecutive summer, the Vikings were held hostage by a quarterback who was not their own. It’s one thing when your dad gets drunk at your wedding and is a tad embarrassing. It’s another thing entirely when that’s your 2nd cousin who you’ve hated your whole life. The Packers felt Brett Favre was one of them, so putting up with the constant retirement talk and waffling was something they had to live with. You can’t kick your dad out of your wedding, no matter how many MGDs he’s had. Eventually, even the Packers had enough and were done with the drama. The Vikings, however, can’t seem to get enough. I mean, sure their 2nd cousin they’ve hated their whole life is dancing on the table and everyone is laughing – he’s a funny guy. But in a few years, won’t you be pissed that he got his drunk ass into every wedding photo? Wouldn’t it be better just to cut your losses, maybe have a less exciting reception, but look back and know it was pure and good?
When I saw Vikings fans lining the streets, anxiously awaiting Brett’s convoy to drive by, a little part of me died inside. This is Brett Favre, right? Brett Favre is the one athlete that I actually HATED growing up. The way he played, the way he talked, the way he flung the ball around just irked me. I hated how he always looked like he was about to cry after a loss. You’d think a guy with Wrangler commercials would be a little tougher. I hated how the commentators fawned over him. I can’t stand Joe Buck and/or John Madden for this reason. I hated his running around like an idiot after a touchdown. What I wouldn’t give for John Randle to have knocked him the F out during one of his kid-like celebrations.
My hatred for Brett Favre even extended into the video game arena. My goal every time I played the Packers in Franchise mode was “HURT BRETT FAVRE”. I found creative ways to do this, sometimes taking multiple roughing the passer penalties in the course of my conquest. The one time I actually succeeded was during a preseason game. Normally I would sim through the preseason and start with week one, but the prospects of hurting Favre were too much. A perfectly timed swim move from Erasmus James beat a block and he went down in a heap. When I went to the Packers injury report and saw the magic words “Broken Leg”, I smiled ear to ear. Only when I scrolled over and saw he was “Out for Season” did it really make my year. The fact that I can remember this story, probably 3 or 4 years after it happened, only goes to show how much I disliked Brett Favre.
In 2005, immediately after I had ACL reconstruction, the Vikings played the Packers in the playoffs. I was as sore, depressed, and felt as helpless as at any point in my life. To go from running everyday and being active to needing someone’s help to get out of a chair is a miserable feeling. Brett had torched us in two games that year – 7 or 8 TDs in two impressive victories. But that day, the Vikings had his number. He threw 4 picks, Daunte Culpepper threw 4 TDs and the Vikings rolled out of Lambeau with a total victory. Nothing could have cheered me up the way that game did. Not only was it a huge Vikings win, but Favre looked humiliated, decimated, confused and befuddled by a defense he’d ripped to shreds twice before. It was one of the highlights of my Viking fan career in the 2000’s.Fast forward to yesterday.
I turn on ESPN and see Brett Favre’s jet landing in Minnesota. He comes down the ramp, gets into a car, and drives down a road lined with hundreds, if not thousands, of Vikings fans. All of them had jerseys or shirts, some had flags, others had signs. My immediate thought was “Why is the President in Brett Favre’s motorcade?” As it was, these turncoats, these sheep that call themselves Vikings fans, were cheering Favre’s return. Yes, the same guy who had gutted the Vikings for many years. The guy who couldn’t have gotten a table in a Minneapolis restaurant, or a lane at a St. Paul bowling alley, or even a place to pray at a Catholic church in Duluth a few years before was being cheered on as the Savior of football in Minnesota.
Nevermind that his waffling had put the entire organization in limbo, or that many of his reps with the first team offense were taken by Sage Rosenfels, or that ticket prices would most likely inch up due to his multi-million dollar raise. Disregard the fact that Brad Childress looked like a scorned ex begging for another chance, or that the locker room divisions would be back for another year, or that the guy who was drafted to eventually be the starter (Tavaris Jackson) will be holding a clipboard. And let’s completely forget that it was Brett Favre’s Achilles heel, his undying hubris, that cost the Vikings a shot at the Super Bowl. All was forgotten when three Vikings, none of which were drafted by the Vikings, convinced him to come back to Minnesota and give the team another shot.
A part of me understands why the players would want Favre back. Tavaris Jackson, railroaded in three consecutive years by the team, has never had the opportunity to grow as a starter. Sage Rosenfels was brought in mostly as insurance for the young Jackson and the old Favre. For right now, this year, Favre probably gives the team the best chance to win. If there’s anything that separates the fan’s outlook from the player’s, it’s that the fan will endure a few mediocre seasons to have a shot at a championship. For players, there is no next year. The fact that season incentives are built into contracts doesn’t hurt – most guys on the team, including Jackson and Rosenfels, probably received some sort of bonus for making it as far as they did on Favre’s aging back.
I, however, received no such bonus check. It was great winning the division and stomping the Cowboys in the playoffs. But it still seemed a bit alien, almost like I was pulling for a team that didn’t belong to me. They were in the same uniforms, playing on that same ugly turf, but it didn’t feel right. I jumped up and down when Adrian Peterson was on the board at 7. I was ecstatic when Percy Harvin inexplicably slipped to the Vikings a year ago. Even when cast-off Jared Allen signed, a part of me felt like he was coming to the place he belonged. But then there was #4. That guy, with his stupid habit of buckling and unbuckling his chinstrap before every play, was now our leader. The guy I’d tried so hard to hurt in every video game, was our guy. Somehow, my team had become “Brett’s Team”. Any Vikings fans worth their weight would realize that Brett Favre is no more a Viking than Tom Brady is a Jet.
The reality is that the Vikings turned Favre into the ultimate mercenary. They decided to mortgage not only $35 million but the quarterbacking future of the organization for one or two shots at a Super Bowl. The only reward that could possibly make the gamble worth it is a Super Bowl ring. Can Favre get the team there? Possibly. But it was more likely last year than it will be this year as each player, Favre included, is a step slower and a year older. His ankle appears to be healed, but ankles have a funny way of degrading when being beaten on artificial turf with 300 pounders diving for them. The Vikings may have some more ways to get Favre rest as they did last year, often bringing in Jackson at the first sign of a sure victory. But the strategy against the Vikings will be the same as it was last year: shut down the running game, bring pressure, and force Brett Favre to move on that shaky ankle. Again, it’s a strategy that’s more likely to shut down the offense in 2010 than it was in 2009.
Bart Simpson eventually got his soul back. At the end of the episode, all is well again in his world as the dogs will play with him and he can laugh again. I don’t remember if he ever did anything with his $5, but nothing was worth selling his soul to someone who shouldn’t have it. The only fair return on the sale price of the Vikings’ soul will be a ring. The thought of purple and gold confetti and a Vikings Super Bowl is something I still can’t quite conjure. But after all that, even with a Championship, will it be the Vikings who won the Super Bowl or Brett Favre? The only thought more unthinkable than a purple clad Adrian Peterson holding the trophy is that of Brett Favre handing it to him – with that goofy look on his face and a tear in his eye.”
Pic: Wikimedia
