Guess who’s pregnant? EVERYBODY! No, seriously. All the celebrity ladies have signs “ESTOY OCUPADO” over their middles in Hollywood (shoutout to Michael K). Here’s are some of the pregnant celebrity ladies roaming the streets of Los Angeles (Sorry men, you don’t warrant your own post as the sperm donors).
Scary Spice, or I guess as she’s known these days, as “Melanie Brown”, is having her third child, and first with current husband Stephan Belafonte. Brown, if you remember, previously had Eddie Murphy’s babeh, and he was all like “that’s not my kid” and she took his ass to court, and sure enough, that was his kid. So yay for Scary Spice and moar babehs! [Link via LA Times]
It’s Spice Girl Baby Bunting Season, cause our ever-so-lovable Victoria “Don’t You Fucking Dah-re Call Me Posh Spice” Beckham is knocked up with her fourth Beckham! Except, um, she’s supposed to be six months along and I’m pretty damn sure I weigh more than her still? I mean, my eight-year-old cousin weighs more than her, so that’s not saying much. I guess props to her, but sheesh, have a Krispy Kreme. Also! She’s having a girl, which is nice after three boys. Nothing like having three older brothers to stare down every single one of your dates your whole life. [Link via People]
Kate Hudson is pregnant with her second child with Muse frontman Matt Bellamy. They met last year at Coachella and they’re just moving right along, aren’t they? Last week on the Today Show, we found out Kate and Matt are engaged, so congrats to them! Hudson’s first kid is with Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson. Kate likes her babies rocking! [Link via Herald Sun]
January Jones just announced she’s pregnant, but no word on who the baby daddy is. How scandalous! People are wondering if it’s her former boyfriend, but clearly it is Don Draper, because duh! TV = real life. [Link via Huff Po]
Jessica Alba, who celebrated her 30th birthday last week, is having her second child with husband Cash Warren. Jessica is already the mother to the precious Honor Marie Warren, which if you’ve never seen this adorable little girl, you must see how cute she is. No word when the second Warren baby will be arriving, and the kid can’t have a sillier name than “Honor”, but per usual, expect Jessica to prove me dead wrong. [Link via Celebrity Gossip]
Selma Blair announced she was pregnant back in January, and she’s looking beautiful, glowing, and sexy during her pregnancy. Bitch. This Selma’s first child with boyfriend-fashion designer Jason Bleick, and she’s due sometime this summer. [Link via Daily Mail]
37-year old Tori Spelling announced via her Twitter back in April that her and hubby Dean McDermott are expecting. This will be Dean and Tori’s third child, joining Stella, 2, and Liam, 4, and expect the requisite Oxygen reality television show, I suppose. [Link via US Weekly]
Comedienne Tina Fey, 40, announced she’s five months along with her second child on Oprah last month! Tina already has one cutie patootie, Alice, with hubs Jeff Richmond. Alice, of course, is the swaggering girl featured in “Not a Single Fuck Was Given That Day” meme. Man, I want Tina Fey to be my mom. (Sorry, mom!) [Link via People]
Did you guys forget Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Kim Zolciak is seven months pregnant? Of course you didn’t! No, the baby boy isn’t Big Papa’s, but Atlanta Falcons football player Kroy Biermann. I love how the Daily Mail writes “Kim, who lists her age at 32.” Allegedly thirty-two, ha! Follow the link for a picture of Kim at her baby shower. [Link via Daily Mail]
This is just depressing. While she doesn’t count as a celebrity by any stretch of the imagination, Jersey Shore-reject Angelina Pivarnick (you got to be some kind of special kind of person to be a JS reject) and, hell I have no idea, she’s apparently been slutting around on her fiance and something something? While I like Radar, they give entirely too much attention to these famewhores. And hypocritically, now I do too. Maybe she can do a reality TV show “Who’s My Baby Daddy?” [Link via Radar]
Saving the absolute BEST for last, the glitter you saw falling from the sky, the unicorns prancing down the street and the pink clouds in the sky you saw yesterday was because Mariah Carey gave birth to her twins! Mimi just recently tweeted her Easter Egg belly, and looked, well, “done” in her own words. The twins came on Mariah and Nick Cannon’s anniversay (only Mimi, right?). And typical Mariah (I really love this diva), Nick and Mariah listened to “We Belong Together” after the babies were born. Babies are healthy, but no word on the names yet. My guess? Mariah and Carey. [Link via People]
In honor of Mariah, stealing IHD’s Rating Unicorn:
