So last time we updated you on Crassballin’, the official Crasstalk March Madness Bracket Contest, a certain Dancing Queen was cruising to glory on the backs of her own Arizona Wildcats and their utter destruction of Duke. Continue reading
college basketball
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The Elite Eight starts this weekend and it appears that a certain desert sirocco is blowing through the Crasstalk March Madness Bracket Contest as Arizona is enjoying its best week since the week Cindy McCain snagged painkiller prescriptions from eight different doctors. Continue reading
We’re already in the second third round of the NCAA tournament, so I thought I’d give you all a Crassballin’ update. Here’s the current Top 10 as of Saturday afternoon:
We had a total of 62 entries. Also, notice that 7 of the top 10 scorers so far are ladyfolk. Apparently you don’t actually need balls to dominate at Crassballin’. Continue reading
Assuming that you have access to cable TV destination truTV, the NCAA has made it possible to watch every single game in the first two rounds of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournatment. (Sorry, it’s the first two rounds. That mess the last two nights does NOT count) Great, right? Well, it still doesn’t account for the fact that many of the games run concurrently, and, in the first two days, some of them are out-right dogs. I’m looking at you, Kansas-Boston U. Admittedly, the networks do a decent job of staggering, but some games are a bet to be better than others.
Chances are, you don’t have a legit dog in this fight, as some 280 Division I schools don’t make the tournament. So, what to watch? You’re busy, and probably too lazy to drag a second or even third television into the same room to put them all up together. Let’s take a look at the schedule and highlight the stuff worth watching:
March 17
Early Games
12:15 p.m.: East Region: No. 5 West Virginia vs. Clemson, CBS
12:40 p.m.: Southeast Region: No. 8 Butler vs. No. 9 Old Dominion, truTV
1:40 p.m.: Southwest Region: No. 4 Louisville vs. No. 13 Morehead State, TBS
The pick: Butler v. ODU. Butler went to the title game last year, remember? Some people think they’re better than the 8 seed they received, and others think they’ll be bounced in the first round. 8-9 games are generally closely contested, and I don’t think anyone believes that WVU will have much trouble with a Clemson team that’s probably at least a little gassed from playing late Tuesday and making the trip to Tampa Bay from Dayton.
Mid-Day Games
2:10 p.m.: West Region: No. 7 Temple vs. No. 10 Penn State, TNT
2:40 p.m.: East Region: No. 4 Kentucky vs. No. 13 Princeton, CBS
3:10 p.m.: Southeast Region: No. 1 Pittsburgh vs. UNC-Asheville, truTV
4:10 p.m.: Southwest Region: No. 5 Vanderbilt vs. No. 12 Richmond, TBS
4:40 p.m.: West Region: No. 2 San Diego State vs. No. 15 Northern Colorado
The pick(s): Ugh, is it any surprise that these games are on in the middle of the work day? Nobody outside of Pennsylvania wants to see PSU-Temple, and unless Princeton has some magic, Kentucky might run them off the floor in the first 15 minutes. You’ll have to hope that Morehead State gives Louisville some run in the 1:40 game, at least enough to get you to Vandy-Richmond at 4:10. This one has potential, simply because for as great as the SEC is in football, you can’t trust them in hoops outside the states of Kentucky and Florida most years.
Post-Dinner Games
6:50 p.m: Southeast Region: No. 2 Florida vs. No. 15 UC-Santa Barbara
7:15 p.m.: Southeast Region: No. 3 BYU vs. No. 14 Wofford, CBS
7:20 p.m.: West Region: No. 3 Connecticut vs. No. 14 Bucknell, TNT
7:27 p.m.: Southeast Region: No. 4 Wisconsin vs. No. 13 Belmont, truTV
The pick: Now things get interesting. The Jimmer Show starts at 7:15, and if he gets going early, you might as well stick around. Heck, he tends to score in bursts, so if Wofford sticks around for the first 10 minutes, it could be fun. Otherwise, make your way over to ‘The tru” for Wisconsin-Belmont, which has a lot of folks pick as a trendy upset. Belmont can flat shoot it, and Wisconsin couldn’t break 40 against Penn State in the Big-Ten tournament. In other words, don’t let the seeds fools you.
Night-Time Games
9:25 p.m.: Southeast Region: No. 7 UCLA vs. No. 10 Michigan State, TBS
9:45 p.m.: Southeast Region: No. 6 St. John’s vs. No. 11 Gonzaga, CBS
9:55 p.m.: West Region: No. 6 Cincinnati vs. No. 11 Missouri, TNT
10:05 p.m.: Southeast Region: No. 5 Kansas State vs. No. 12 Utah State, truTV
The Pick: Christ, CBS, thanks for cramming three potentially good games into the last hour. Here, I’d toggle between the first three games until KSU-Utah State tips. Utah State is another situation where I advise you to ignore the seeds. USU was ranked in the top 25 for a while this season, and again, if they get hot, they could make KSU sweat.
March 18
Early Games
12:15 p.m.: West Region: No. 4 Texas vs. No. 13 Oakland, CBS
12:40 p.m.: West Region: No. 8 Michigan vs. No. 9 Tennessee, truTV
1:40 p.m.: Southwest Region: No. 2 Notre Dame vs. No. 15 Akron, TBS
The pick: Happy Friday! These games suck. MI-TN is the only one with any potential here, I think, and Michigan is awful. Want to see an 8 seed who probably should have been forced to play a play-in game? Watch Michigan. Go out to lunch instead.
Mid-Day Games
2:10 p.m.: East Region: No. 8 George Mason vs. No. 9 Villanova, TNT
2:40 p.m.: West Region: No. 5 Arizona vs. No. 12 Memphis, CBS
3:10 p.m.: West Region: No. 1 Duke vs. No. 16 Hampton, truTV
4:10 p.m.: Southwest Region: No. 7 Texas A&M vs. No. 10 Florida State, TBS
4:40 p.m.: East Region: No. 1 Ohio State vs. No. 16 UTSA/Alabama State
The pick: Arizona has probably one of the more exciting athletes in the tournament in Derrick Williams. Memphis will run with them though, so it will probably be the most entertaining game of this bunch. Texas A&M-FSU will be interesting only in that someone has to win.
Post-Dinner Games
6:50 p.m.: Southwest Region: No. 1 Kansas vs. No. 16 Boston University, TBS
7:15 p.m.: East Region: No. 2 UNC vs. No. 15 Long Island, CBS
7:20 p.m.: Southwest Region: No. 3 Purdue vs. No. 14 St. Peter’s, TNT
7:27 p.m.: East Region: No. 6 Xavier vs. No. 11 Marquette, truTV
The pick: Xavier-Marquette. Really, the other three games will probably be blowouts, and Marquette is probably better than an 11 seed, but not quite good enough, if I was picking (and I did).
Late Night Games
9:20 p.m.: Southwest Region: No. 8 UNLV vs. No. 9 Illinois, TBS
9:40 p.m.: East Region: No. 7 Washington vs. No. 10 Georgia, CBS
9:55 p.m.: Southwest Region: No. 6 Georgetown vs. No. 11 VCU, TNT
10:05 p.m. East Region: No. 3 Syracuse vs. No. 14 Indiana State, truTV
The pick: Illinois is not a 9 seed. Seriously, the Big-Ten is not that good at basketball. Go UW-UGA here. Washington’s Isiah Thomas is cold-blooded, and they just knocked off Arizona, so this will likely be the most entertaining of this bunch.
As always, though, keep an eye on the scores. CBS, as a rule, has always done a good job of keeping viewers informed of when something special is happening or about to happen.
And lastly, if you haven’t done so yet, you still have a short amount of time to sign up for the Crasstalk March Madness Bracket on CBS. The password is honeybadger.
Update (4:50PM)-Congrats to A Piece of the Continent, for being the only person in the Crassballin’ Bracket to get each of the first 4 games correct. Jerk.
Is there anything better than March Madness? The upsets, the nail-biters, the non-stripperish cheerleaders from small town Kentucky. The NCCAA tournament truly has it all.
We’re going to spend the next few weeks pondering the insane ramblings of Billy Packer. We’re going to wonder what sort of brown liquor Bob “Huggie Bear” Huggins drinks with his breakfast every morning. We’re going to spend countless hours considering the most efficient method for murdering the Plumlee twins (Answer: wood chipper). And best of all, we’re going to figure out a way to convince ourselves that our shitass school is destined for Final Four greatness.
We call it Crassballin’. Continue reading
A hatred of Duke University and its White Blue Devils (I’m feeling nauseous already) burns deep inside of all right-thinking human beings. We are naturally repulsed by Duke to such an extent that it is now part of our natural evolutionary instincts. From the womb, we we enter this world already detesting Danny Ferry and Steve Wojochowski and (oh god, I’m going to vomit) Coach K.
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But while a low burning sensation is natural, a true Duke hater knows that he or she must refresh that hatred before each and every fresh NCAA tournament. Here’s a simple plan for how to really get yourself worked up with frothing, irrational, lovely Duke Hate:
1. Start by focusing on this year’s team.
You would think this one would be tough some seasons, but no. Literally every single season Duke fields a team full of various jagoffs, D-bags and other unlikeable goons and bozos. This year I recommend you spend a few minutes watching the thoroughly awful Plumlee Twins throw elbows and complain to the refs every time a call goes against Duke.
2. Stare into the cold, dead, soulless eyes of Coach Mike Krzyzewski.
Do it for just a few seconds. Not too long, though, or you’ll be eternally raped by the ghost of J.J. Redick.
3. Reminisce about all the old Dukies you used to get so much pleasure from hating.
That’s the beauty of March Madness: It’s a great opportunity to fondly remember all those past seasons of hating Danny Ferry, Jay Bilas, Christian Laettner, Cherokee Parks (Oh god, I can taste the vomit trying to come up), Bobby Hurley, Steve Wojciechowski, Jason Williams, J.J. Redick….. I could go on and on.
Sometimes around this time of year my dreams often involve a big honorary alumni game at Cameron Arena/Gymnasium Indoor Stadium that is attacked by a swarm of flying psychedelic sharks that kill everyone ever involved with the White Blue Devils. A boy can hope….
4. Read an intellectual takedown of Duke University.
This is always fun. Thanks to Duke’s irrepressible striving to be at the top of various magazine rankings and other superfluous bullshit, their overall creepiness always comes out upon close inspection. Witness Caitlin Flanagan (who is, I’ll admit, somewhat crazy herself) get worked up about the overall vibe of Duke while discussing the Karen Owens fiasco in a recent issue of The Atlantic Monthly:
In 2009, GQ magazine named Duke America’s second-douchiest college, a distinction that came with a caveat: “They’re probably number one. But we’d rather not rank Duke number one at anything.” It’s difficult to argue withGQ’s thinking on either score; something ugly is going on at the university—a mercenary intensity that has been gathering strength for the past two decades, as the institution made the calculated decision to wrench itself into elite status by dint of its fortune in tobacco money and its sheer ambition. It lured academic luminaries—many of them longer on star power than on intellectual substance—built a fearsome sports program, and turned its admissions department into the collegiate version of a head-hunting firm. (I was a college counselor at a prep school in the ’90s, and the zeal with which Duke gunned for our top students was unseemly.)
In some respects Duke has never moved on from the values of the 1980s, when droves of ambitious college students felt no moral ambivalence about preparing themselves for a life centered largely on the getting and spending of money. With a social scene dominated by fraternities and sororities (a way of life consisting of ardent partying and hooking up, offset by spurts of busywork composing angry letters to campus newspapers and taking online alcohol-education classes), with its large share of rich students displaying their money in the form of expensive cars and clothing, and with an attitude toward campus athletics that is at once deeply southern (this is a part of the world where even high-school athletes can be treated with awestruck deference by adults) and profoundly anti-intellectual, it’s a university whose thoughtful students are overshadowed by its voraciously self-centered ones.
SEE? THEY’RE A BUNCH OF RICH, DUMB, RAPEY PUNKS WHO WEAR BURBERRY AND DRIVE BMWS. NOTHING AT ALL LIKE MY SCHOOL!
5. Watch one of the many, many anti-Duke montage videos on YouTube.
The lower the production quality and more immature the jokes… the better.
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BYU’s Brandon Davies, a 6’9″ 235-lb starting forward for the top five-ranked Cougars has been suspended for the remainder of the season for violating BYU’s strict Honor Code. Davies admitted to Brigham Young University officials that he and his girlfriend engaged in pre-marital sex. The suspension, announced Wednesday, will include the post-season conference and NCAA tournaments.
Davies had been averaging 11.2 points and 6.1 rebounds this year this for the Cougars and was a major force behind their 27-2 record and possible number-one seed in the tournament as well as a potential run to the Final Four. All that is in jeopardy now.
Thursday night, New Mexico dismantled the Cougars, 84-62, a possible sign of trouble to come for the suddenly undermanned BYU squad. Live by the Honor Code, die by the Honor Code.
“This is who we are, and most people that come to this school, hopefully all, understand that it is one of the reasons they come to BYU,” said Tom Holmoe, BYU’s Athletic Director, at a news conference following the suspension. “We understand that people across the country might think this is foreign to them, and might be shocked or surprised. But we deal with this quite often.”
The BYU Honor Code is a forbidding list of restrictions that every BYU student agrees to upon becoming a student. The Code applies to both Mormon and non-Mormon students.
“We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men,” the Code states. “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things, the Honor Code states. It continues:
- Be honest
- Live a chaste and virtuous life
- Obey the law and all campus policies
- Use clean language, respect others
- Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, and substance abuse
- Participate regularly in church services
- Observe the dress and grooming standards
- Encourage others in their commitment to comply with the Honor Code
Although it may seem Draconian, at least one observer of college ethics supports BYU’s handling of the situation. “I give the school credit,” Donald McCabe was quoted as saying in The Salt Lake City Tribune. McCabe is a professor of business and writer on issues affecting higher education. “They laid out their rules, they were violated and they stuck to their guns. The student was forewarned and he knew what the penalty would be, and he took his chances.”
While no definitive reports have yet surfaced as to how Davies was turned in to authorities, or even if he turned himself in, a variety of sources on Friday released the name of his girlfriend, Danica Mendivil, a volleyball player at Arizona State University, and like Davies, a native of Utah. Early reports indicated Mendivil might be pregnant, which her family has since denied.
Davies is part of a very small African-American contingent of blacks in the LDS church. As recently as 1978 the last formal bans were lifted against African-Americans who wanted to serve as bishops or in other LDS church leadership positions. Davies was born in Philadelphia and adopted by a white Mormon family who raised him in Provo as a member in good-standing of the LDS church.
While no hard data is available, church observers have said African-Americans comprise less than one percent of LDS church membership.
Image here.
Whether Davies’ punishment was more severe because of the interracial nature of his and Mendivil’s relationship will remain speculative, but this is the second major Honor Code violation in two years to rock BYU athletics.
In 2010, the Cougars’ all-time leading rusher Harvey Unga was kicked off the football team and withdrew from school for having a sexual relationship with Keilani Moeaki, a BYU women’s basketball player.