We all know by now that President Obama is an unAmerican communist, socialist, marxist, nazi, muslim, race baiting radical. An elitist who has shaken hands with, hugged, bowed to, and/or stood in the same room with every enemy of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness that his corrupt, whore-chasing secret service guard can find for him. Born in Kenya, educated in Indonesia, indoctrinated by the liberal Illuminati who were grooming him for his eventual rise to power and the destruction of the American Way, his destiny was sealed as the ink dried on his fake birth certificate. Oh, and he has eaten dog.

Romney must feel left out by all the attention that conspiracy theorists, the teabaggers, and Fox News analysts have lavished on Barack Hussein Obama over the years.

Sure, he’s got that Mormon thing going for him, and poors are something he believes in right behind Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the retraction of the capital gains tax, but you can only put your diarrheal dog on the roof of your car once or it loses the impact.

Mitt may be the presumptive nominee, but his campaign is slow to gain traction with his fellow conservatives. Let’s help by giving them something to deny. They get to deflect their real feelings about the candidate while discussing wild mischaracterizations. Win-win.

Image: Dogs Against Romney