I’m a little pressed for time today my little dance monkeys so we’re going to zoom through this recap like a fifteen turn pirouette. Ready?
Let’s go!
Shoo-bee-doo-bee! Cat comes out dressed in teeny-tiny bubble wrap. We don’t like this dress. It looks like she’s safeguarding grandma’s tea set before she moves to the home. It’s so much bland. We’re wagging our fingers at the SYTYCD stylist yet again. Just where the hell are the feathers and pipe cleaners festooned around her hips? This is a television dance show is it not? We want obscenely ugly frocks. Someone should be fired.
Okay, well now that we’re getting down to the wire, just who will the guest judges continue to be? Christina Applegate…uh, okay. I didn’t realize Kelly Bundy had such a long and dedicated dance career. Whatever, it matters not. This show has proven that any celebrity who’s ever tapped their foot is qualified to guest judge. While we like the down-to-earth appeal of Christina she really should have run a brush through her frizzle-frazzled hair nest before the start of the show.
Anyway, there’s Lil C, the master of word gymnastics, hashtags, and buckness food additives. Mary appears with half a horse’s tail on her head, and Cat makes fun of Nigel in a new weekly shtick called “Make fun of pervy uncle Nigel, or he may kiss your face!” They go on about the show, blah, talk about that thing nobody participated in except some Swedes who work at a nuclear reactor, called National Dance Day. Obviously we’ll celebrate the Swedes lest they gamma ray themselves into Hulks if we don’t.
Now on with the show.
Melanie and tWitch
What the Brother’s Grimm was that? Oh, Nappy Tabs. Stop watching movies starring Amanda Seyfried. We weren’t clamoring for a Red Riding Hood tale, were we? I don’t think so. This looked a bit disjointed and overacted. Did we need to see tWitch grimacing and panting like a dog? No, I don’t think so. The dancing wasn’t very inspired and sadly Melanie didn’t really pull off the hard-hitting hip-hop swag here, which is something Lil C was trying to say in all that word jumble. She just wasn’t in tune with her inner “ghetto” if I may paraphrase. Instead of telling it like it is, the judges wanted to ensure our continued adoration of Melanie and let her slide by commenting on her status as a powerhouse in the competition. Not much was mentioned about this particular routine. However, Melanie’s solo was sensational. There were backbends into splits and a carefree feel to her movement that almost makes us forget about that thing with the hood and two dead tree branches on the stage.
Sasha and Kent
Oh, my, my. Now this is why I watch this show. This performance was A-MAZING! I sat riveted as these two threw their bodies across the stage, on the wall, and into each other. It was probably the most moving thing I’ve seen all season. There was such feeling and trust between partners. I wasn’t sure small town Kent could actually handle Sasha’s inner fire, but I was so wrong. Kent was spectacular and Sasha was just breathtaking. I held my breath, cried, and fanned my face during those leaps of abandon. The judges were speechless. Lil C’s words dripped out his eyeballs. Nigel proclaimed Sasha his favorite dancer, the fickle maniac that he is. I didn’t want this to end and it looked like we finally may have seen the real Sasha on that stage. She was even earnest and cute when she ran off stage while covering up her scantily clad form. Where the Jordans of the competition would have been right at home…it suits Sasha that she wouldn’t want to be quite so bare. Gorgeous. Much praise to Tyce Diorio for finally realizing that he is an amazing choreographer without all the Broadway pap and shtick. Bravo. Sasha is destined for the top two. Her solo was all Sasha, funky, sassy, and professional.
Marko and Janette
Well, the dreaded paso doble. There’s not a lot to be said about this. It didn’t really wow. There was one really great lift, the rest just looked like “Paso by the numbers.” I could see the choreographer in every movement. paso, paso, hip, hip, abs, abs, no shirt, cape, girl, paso, paso, cha-cha-cha. Marko pulled off all the steps so it was technically fine save for a bobble here and there but mostly there wasn’t enough heat and smolder, or technical acumen from Marko or his all star. Yup, Janette looked a little out of sorts as well. Marko did well in his solo but it wasn’t quite the stand up performance we hoped for.
Tadd and Ellenore
Sonya Tayeh just what? Circus act…trapeze, dangling from a chandelier…why are we doing this? You guys know how I feel about Sonya. So I’m to assume when she’s not doing “I am woman. Hear me roar!” routines she just goes into her half-shaved head bag and comes out with just spinning above the stage for no apparent reason because dancing should look like a bad moment from a traveling circus in 1910? Did she consult anyone on this. I imagine her saying to the prop guys, “Yeah, I want a chandelier on this set that a guy can hang from and do several lopsided spins and not fall to his death because I’m an artist and making dancers do stupid things is in my contract.” So anyway after that thing was over and everyone kind of giggled, looked sheepish, and tried not to stare at Sonyah with mouths agape. Tadd did what he does best and championed through until it was time for his solo where he continued to entertain. I dunno. Tadd is giving the trained dancers a real run for their money.
Ricky and Jaime
Someone jog my memory. I don’t remember Jaime. Sort of how this routine was sort of unmemorable. Dee Caspary the mind-genius who decided that Ricky should dance using sticks and his forearms to support his partner, kind of gave Ricky the kind of routine that probably sounded better in his head than it looked in reality. I just say that if you’re going to use a prop make it be for a valuable purpose and not the “Hey, they’re holding sticks! Doesn’t it make it that much harder thereby a better performance,” No, Dee. This isn’t the Olympics. You don’t get graded on difficulty. You get graded on how well and natural it all flows together and there’s nothing natural about sticks flip-flapping through the air. It’s sort of like a chandelier for no apparent reason. Ricky’s solo went a bit better, but it’s not enough to levy a death blow to Tadd’s rising star. Watch out, Rick.
Caitlynn and Pasha
Okay, yup. I’m tired of Pasha…and of so much ballroom right now. I think SYTYCD needs an intervention. They need to understand that these routines don’t resonate enough with viewers. There’s just not enough story and real passion/emotion involved. And just how many times can you look at those samba rolls and the footwork and say more than, “Eh, she/he did that well.” Caitlynn was decent in this performance, but it was the same samba we’ve seen all the other times we’ve seen it. At least with the jive you’re able to inject a bit more personality and tell a story. So basically, Caitlynn, I’m not sure this did you any favors, sweetie. Not to say that you didn’t try your heart out. Well, that is until we get to your solo…and hoisting that leg in the air and smiling at the camera is just not going to be enough to beat out Melanie and Sasha.
In the last of the routines our powerhouses, Sasha, Melanie, and Marko were paired up with their dark horse counterparts Ricky, Tadd, and Caitlynn. It was almost as if they’d decided that whoever could hold their own next to the unspoken “All-Star” of their own season may get to stay in the competition. Who gave it all they had?
Sasha and Ricky got the task of introducing us to waacking, which looks like a combination of vogueing and disco. While the dance seemed difficult and a bit labored for them both…Sasha seemed to handle it a bit better. She paced herself, yes, but you could tell she was conserving her energy for when she needed that waacking burst, which she used. Smart move. Ricky was okay. He didn’t make this his own, and it didn’t appear that he really felt the groove of it.
Melanie and Tadd’s Broadway number was the second best routine of the night for me. I adore Tadd’s willingness to take on anything and meet it with joy and enthusiasm. They both played a part here and told a genuine story. We expected Melanie to be exquisite, but Tadd rose to the challenge and gave back just as good as he got, and it was sensational seeing the bored look on his face as he plaintively looked at Melanie and told her to do it again, as the role called for. I’m really thinking that Tadd has the goods. Oh, yes, indeed it will be a showdown tonight.
Marko was able to end the night on a better note after that lackluster paso doble earlier. He and Caitlynn danced to a Sonya Tayeh I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME ROAR! routine about a man trying to hold a woman back or down or a prison of her own mind or in a mine shaft or hostage on a plane (didn’t Caitlynn already dance this piece with Mitchell in like the third episode? SIGH!) There were a few neat tricks, and some really well executed movement from them both. You could tell that Caitlynn was fighting here. Was it enough to dethrone either Melanie or Sasha…well, I’m still going to say no.
What do you guys think? Who’s going home? My top three are Sasha, Melanie, and Tadd. I think Caitlynn, Ricky, and even Marko have probably reached the pinnacle of what they’re going to be able to bring to the show, technique and personality wise. I’m thinking Sasha, Melanie, and Tadd still have the ability to stun us. Well, the judges won’t make the final decision anymore. The lowest in votes is getting sent home tonight. We’ll see who’s on the chopping block.
