Barbie™, as you are all aware, is a serially unemployed torturer, an egomaniac, a clinical narcissist (though, we suppose, egomania and narcissism go hand in hand), and a witch doctor who has cast our beloved Ken™ under her spell time and time again. German, too!
Barbie™’s Dream House™ was once a fairly staid, suburban affair, but sometime in the go-go 80s, at the height of her egomania, she moved into a pink mansion in Malibu™, just mere doors down from her arch-nemesis, Lisa Lionheart™. But that wasn’t good enough for her! After a few years off from Ken™, they reunited in February and she’s decided she needs something a little bit more modern. Let’s take a look:
As dropouts of a school with an acclaimed architecture program, we feel we have the qualifications. We entered Higgins Hall twice, after all. It’s ugly, and Barbie™ and her architects (Harvard alums Ting Li and Maja Paklar) clearly don’t know that the color of the year is H-O-N-E-Y-S-U-C-K-L-E, not this fuchsia madness.
- A library? Barbie™ get a Kindle already!
- A meditation space and a roof garden? Redundant. Get a gift wrap room.
- You’ll always have to live on a corner. Think of the traffic!
Actually, you know what this reminds us of? Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo’s separate estates on the same estate. Let’s hope that all’s not well in Malibu™, for Ken™’s sake. Get out while you still can, Ken™! Mattel™ won’t be producing the contest-winning house, but Barbie™ will be designing houses of her own as Architect Barbie™.
Where did she go? The Keith Gessen School of Architecture?
