movie reviews

15 posts

Movie Review: Your Highness

Your Highness

Starring: Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel

Directed by: David Gordon Green

Written by: Danny McBride, Ben Best

What do you get when you mix some of the sensibilities of  The Princess Bride, creatures that could belong in 80’s Jim Henson fantasy films, a dash of Pineapple Express stoner action and the humor of Eastbound & Down? That may be a rhetorical question because the answer is obvious; you get Your Highness.

The film has a pretty basic premise. When noble Prince Fabius (Franco) has his bride to be, Belladonna (Deschanel), kidnapped by the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux) he sets out on a quest to rescue her accompanied by his lazy stoner brother Thadeous (McBride) and his brother’s manservant Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker). Along the way they encounter the fierce warrior maiden Isabel(Portman) who has a score to settle with Leezar herself.

I was sold on this concept from the very first moment I heard about it. Medieval fantasy? Check. Absurd premise? Check. Actors I enjoy? Check. Animatronic creatures? Check. Great director whose already proven himself with “stoner” films? Check. It seemed to me like it had so much potential. And Danny (Kenny Fuckin’ Powers) McBride not only stars in it but co wrote the feature as well. It brought to mind some of my favorite childhood films like Krull, Dragonslayer and Ladyhawke but with fouler language. I thought this is a sure thing.

However, it kind of misses the mark. It’s not as though the film isn’t funny, in fact it has a number of lines, scenes and sequences that I find downright hilarious. But I can’t help but feel it’s a bit restrained in spite of the R rating.

Which is rather unfortunate. First of all, I thought Franco and McBride were great. They were able to play off each other in a way that was effective without being overly cheesy (though this film did require a degree of cheesiness). Franco with his unwavering determination and charm and McBride with his crass humor and vulgarities in full swing.

Justin Theroux in my mind kind of stole every scene he was in. Leezar is a ridiculous character and Theroux brings a lot to the table with the scenes he does have. He also has some of the better lines in the film all told in my mind.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Rasmus Hardiker as Courtney. I had never seen him in anything before but I felt he had pretty excellent comic timing and added a lot to the film.

Writing women does not seem to be McBride and writing partner Ben Best’s strong suite however. Natalie Portman looked great (she always does) but her character was pretty one sided. She did have a few ridiculous lines delivered in the exact same tone as everything else she said. That was probably intended to help the humor, but to me it distracted from it. As for Zooey Deschanel she’s hardly in the movie at all and serves more as a plot device than a real character.

This is a very different style of film for director David Gordon Green. Sure he covered stoner territory in Pineapple Express, but this was a big budget medieval fantasy stoner film. I honestly don’t think the issue was his direction. And might I add that the cinematography was excellent (they shot in Northern Ireland, what a beautiful country).

I think what it comes down to is that they didn’t or perhaps couldn’t utilize fully what they had. There were hardly any stoner related jokes or gags and one would expect that to be prevalent. Although it was quite funny in parts it always felt like there was just a little something missing. Which is really too bad because I wanted to love this movie and just ended up liking it. I give it 3 and a half beers.

Movie Review: Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch

Starring: Emily Browning, Abbey Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Carla Gugino & Oscar Isaac
Directed by: Zach Snyder
Written by: Zach Snyder & Steve Shibuya based on a story by Zach Snyder

Zach Snyder is a director that is probably best known for his visual flair. His groundbreaking work in 300, his beautifully realized (whether you liked the actual film or not) version of Watchmen, these are what people have come to expect from Snyder. Even his earliest feature, the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead showed that he was a director with a vision.

However his greatest strength is also his biggest weakness. Snyder is so focused on the visual spectacle that the story gets muddled and lost on the way to its ultimate realization. In the past when he was doing a remake or working with someone else’s material this wasn’t as noticeable.  And ultimately he still pulled it off. However Sucker Punch is an entirely original film written by Snyder. And in this case that lack of focus or attention to story, plot & characterization is glaring.

It’s really no mystery at this point what Sucker Punch is about. The studio promoted the hell out of this thing. With a price tag of around $82 million not including marketing costs they had to. So I don’t think I give anything away here by recapping briefly (though there may be some mild spoilers, you are forewarned). “Baby Doll”(Browning) is sent to a mental institution. In there she meets fellow in mates “Sweat Pea”(Cornish), “Rocket”(Malone), “Blondie”(Hudgens) & “Amber”(Chung). The hospital is run through a combination of Dr. Vera Gorski(Gugina) and head lackey/orderly Blue Jones(Isaac).

Baby Doll, who’s got a limited amount of time sort of conjures up in her mind a dreamworld where she gets a quest to free herself from the asylum. Like in the trailer we’re told she needs a map, fire, a knife, a key and some other mystery object.

The majority of the rest of the film as shown in the previews is about Baby Doll and gang trying to procure those items through her warped vision of reality. What’s actually going on back in the asylum is anyone’s guess because we don’t even see it again till the film is almost over. This is part of the problem.

I understand that films want to have “layers” of dreams or subconscious. I mean hell it worked for Inception(at least I thought it did) so why not here. We spend much more time in that “second layer” the first layer being reality. In the second layer none of them are in an insane asylum, but rather in some strange burlesque/prostitution club. It’s through this layer that we  get to the third layer which in this case is all the stuff you saw in the preview with dragons and weird steampunk zombie Nazis(which is kind of funny only because I had watched Dead Snow the night before for the first time) etc.

It all looks quite frankly for the most part pretty awesome. The action sequences are fast paced adrenaline pumping scenes. You see some really cool stuff that is very visually impressive. And you only stop and scratch your head a little bit wondering why exactly these 5 women are fighting all these things scantily clad in school girl outfits and other garb better suited for a fetish video than the alleged ass kicking they are handing out.

And then it really hits you. Because while you’re distracted by all the visual fireworks you’re not really thinking. Then wham you get sucker punched. The movie doesn’t really make any fucking sense whatsoever.

I’m sure Snyder had the best of intentions going into this. He just didn’t think things through. The idea is that Baby Doll is supposed to be getting “empowered” when she sets herself free in her mind and through that she can somehow free herself from the physical prison she’s in. What? How the hell is hallucinating your way through a smorgasbord of fanboy wet dreams equal freeing yourself? Are we to believe that Baby Doll is empowering and freeing herself by imagining herself slicing things with a katana in a school girl outfit? The very idea of it is preposterous. .

Like all good morality tales(and this kind sorta tries to be one) there is a lesson to be learned here. That lesson is apparently that Zach Snyder needs to stick to directing other people’s material. Because when it’s his own material we get flat emotionless acting, horrible dialogue and of course to hammer the same nail again an essentially incomprehensible plot. Of course wrapped up really really nice. Oh and sorry folks Jon Hamm is in the film all of five minutes; if you were going to see him, don’t.

Sucker Punch is a beautiful mess. I can’t say I’m anything less than impressed with the visuals, they are stunning and if that’s enough for you than go see it. If you’re looking for anything more save your money and see something else. I give it two beers.

Movie Review: Paul

Paul

Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Kristen Wiig, Jason Batemen and Seth Rogan
Directed by: Greg Mottola
Written by: Nick Frost, Simon Pegg

First of all let me say hello to you toothpicks (that is my nickname for humans). My name is Vermithrax Pejorative and I am a dragon. I am also a fan of movies (particularly ones with dragons in them). Given that I am exceptionally intelligent (as all dragons are), I have decided to share with you my thoughts on the movies that I watch. Why should you care what I have to say? Simple, did I not mention that I am a fucking dragon? I can eat you. I can burn you to a crisp. Need I have any other reason beyond that? I thought not.

I am also a dragon that is very fond of alcohol. That is how I will rate the movies I watch. What does that mean exactly? Say I sit down with a six pack of beer. If a movie is truly awful I will only watch it long enough to finish one or no beers. Where as if the film is exceptional then I would likely finish the entire six pack before I get back to terrifying ignorant peasants. Simple no? So without further ado here is the review.

I am an unabashed fan of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. The British comedy duo introduced to most of us state side through the exceptional 2004 film Shaun of the Dead have never failed to deliver when their forces are combined.  This is the duo’s third film collaboration which also includes the hilarious Hot Fuzz. However unlike the previous two which were directed by their long time friend Edgar Wright, Paul was directed by the new to them but equally talented Greg Mottola.

Paul is at its essence a science fiction movie. But much like in their previous two films it takes a conventional genre and puts a spin on it. The spin on this is that the story is set to the pacing of a road movie. And it works. Essentially Paul is the story of two friends from England that come to America on their dream vacation to attend San Diego Comic Con and then travel across the American southwest visiting sites related to aliens and UFOs. Then when they meet the titular Paul they are dragged into his adventure of trying to make it back home while being pursued by government forces. And of course problems and complications arise on the way.

Paul is a movie that gets the majority of things right. Pegg and Frost are very natural working together and have not only an excellent chemistry on screen but work off of each others comedic timing perfectly. Their characters friendship is the heart of the story.

Then of course there is Paul himself. When you have a live action movie that involves a CGI character as one of the main components it doesn’t always work particularly well. This is the area I was most concerned about going into the film. There are just so many ways to do this wrong. Fortunately between the script and Mottola’s direction they delivered something that was neither cliche or absurd. Paul does do some absurd things along the way, but he is a genuine character who possesses the sort of depth one would expect from a major character in a film. Paul is of course voiced by the always funny Seth Rogen and honestly that does make a difference.

In addition there is great supporting work. Kristen Wiig is really entertaining as the proverbial “bible thumper” who comes along for the ride. Jason Bateman also shines as a government agent who is tracking Paul. When freed from the shackles of having to be a romantic comedy lead Bateman is able to remind us that he can in fact be as funny now as he was in the days of Arrested Development. Bill Hader who has appeared in the most recent trio of Mottola’s films is always solid in a supporting role and this is no exception.

And Mottola himself to me delivers another solid film. Tackling very different territory than his last two features, Superbad & Adventureland, he shows that he is just as solid directing a more adult (and I use that term very loosely) cast and action oriented script.

All of that aside though the number one thing that I enjoyed about Paul is that it’s a love letter. In that I mean Pegg and Frost have used this platform to create a loving living tribute to the science fiction that they grew up on and helped form them into the dynamic geek duo that they are today. I won’t spoil any of it for you, but there are many references and shout outs to some of the best sci fi films of the past. And only fans would be able to spot most of them.

That very fact may seem to alienate a more mainstream audience at first glance. However Paul manages to keep the story and humor accessible enough that all the references and tributes just add an extra something without being distracting or unrelatable to an audience.

Paul is a film that deserves to have a wider audience than it likely will. But unfortunately this sort of film tends to be a hard sell. I only hope positive word of mouth will help keep it afloat. For anyone that is a fan of sci-fi, Pegg and Frost or a clever different comedy this one is a must see. I give it five and a half beers.

‘Goodbye, Mr. Chips’ – A 72 Year Old Movie Review

1 comment

‘Goodbye, Mr. Chips’ (1939) Robert Donat, Greer Garson
D. Sam Wood

The Oscars ended last Sunday and in doing so, brought the month of Smarch to a close. Smarch is that 31 day month (with lousy weather) between February and March. While February is famous for St. Groundhog’s Day, when thousands of lovers emerge from their winter burrows to see if they are going to have 6 more weeks of sex; and March is famous for killing Caesar, Smarch is famous for 31 days of Oscar on Turner Classic Movies.

This event is greeted with much rejoicing in the Baconcat household. Both Mr. and Mrs. Baconcat are rabid fans of the classics. Every Smarch the DVR quickly fills up with oft-quoted and much beloved favorites like Casablanca, The African Queen and The Lion in Winter.

BACONCATS!
Mr. and Mrs. Baconcat take a break from solving hilarious crimes to eat 35 eggs.

Most of these films count as a fond trip down memory lane for us, but just occasionally there will appear a classic (Oscar worthy no less!) in the list that we haven’t seen. These moments of newness are precious things. They are special one-time only events like the birth of a first child or a Male-Male-Female threesome.

This year TCM’s crop produced a doozie for us: Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1939) based on the novel by James Hilton. Not only was this a film neither of us had seen, but it was a bona-fide Oscar powerhouse, not one of those ‘Oscar’ films TCM tends to barf up as space filler with dubious Oscar claims like a solitary  nomination for best film editing (I’m looking at you On The Beach). No, here was a film that was nominated for Best Director, Best Picture and Best Actress in a Leading role, and a film that won Robert Donat the Best Actor statue over a field that included Jimmy Stewart (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington), Sir Laurence Olivier (Wuthering Heights), Mickey Rooney (Babes in Arms) and Clark Gable (Gone With The Motherfucking Wind). To top it off it had the delicious and fun Greer Garson as second billing.

The plot is pretty simple: Via flashbacks it tells the story of Mr. Chipping’s (‘Chips’) life as a teacher at the prestigious English Brookfield Institute. From his first arrival at age 22 to his death, the movie chronicles his struggles, loves and losses within the walls of the venerable institution. Over the years he teaches the kids, who grow up and their kids come to Brookfield and so on for several generations. It was for this portraying of a Mr. Chips in the spring, summer and autumn of his life that won Robert Donat the academy award. And there is where my problem with the film began.

In the film Donat portrays Chips at four periods of his life: 22, mid 40’s, mid 60’s and mid 80’s. He does fine with Chips as a young man, and also with Chips at 40 (since he was roughly the same age) but Donat’s idea of acting old is putting on a mark twain mustache, mussing his hair and shuffling around muttering the same phrases over and over again in a high-pitched codger voice. He’s one flatulence joke away from being an Eddie Murphy character. Unfortunately, most of the movie is from this period.

Chips are called 'Crisps' in England, except for this dude.
Robert Donat at the exact moment he realized a mustache would make him look older.

Ahoy!  Spoilers be ahead matey.

As I watched, I kept thinking ‘When is Greer Garson gonna show up’? The answer is not until a third of the way through the film (and a third of the way up a mountaintop). She then proceeds to marry Mr. Chips, make him trim his mustache and teaches him that children will like him more (and come over to his house unescorted) if he bribes them with cake. Then, she dies during childbirth. It was at this point that I turned to Mrs. Baconcat and asked:

“When did she have time to get pregnant?”
“Perhaps it was the one time they kissed?” She replied. “That’s how Victorians got pregnant you know.”

So that’s it for Greer Garson. The excellent and underused Paul Heinreid has more screen time than her. But this fits a disturbing theme I noticed about the movie: this is a sausage fest. There’s a creepily high level of man on boy spanking and caning. There are also heartfelt, tender handshakes and prolonged eye-gazing amongst the men. Plus lots of butch men in uniforms.

What unkempt hair! How old he is!
Mark Twain once famously said: “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco watching ‘Goodbye, Mr. Chips’.

The rest of the film is basically Chips learning that though his wife was fun and all, he really, really loves the boys of the school and he is meant to instruct them. And then the movie ends, except it doesn’t. Like a successive level of baddies in a Bond film that must be killed before you can get to the final credits, Chips goes through level after level of events that would qualify for most filmgoers as end-worthy: First, he retires. Then he comes back to be headmaster for the duration of WWI. Then he retires again in 1918. Then he wakes up in 1933 and has a talk with a young student named Colley (the 4th such Colley kid to come through the halls of Brookfield), and then, FINALLY, he dies in bed.

But even his death isn’t the end. First, we have the death itself which ends with him fading out whilst mumbling a very NAMBLA-esque ramble about how he had ‘thousands and thousands of boys’, and then if that wasn’t enough, we get to experience his last fleeting memory which is literally a parade of young boys capped off by young master Colley in more eyeliner than a Bollywood star pulling off a ‘cheesecake’ turn and bidding Mr. Chips adieu.

Even this was not the end, because they remade this film three more times. I think in an alternate universe I am still watching this film.

I kinda want the hat.
Goodbye, Mr. Chips! Don’t worry, Colley is in good hands

-Baconcat

Opening Weekend: See Some Of This, Maybe

Okay. So now that you know touching the “butter button” is a sin against nature, you’re still going to brave the movie theater, because really where else are you going to see awesome movie trailers with a bunch of people totally ready to oohhh, ahhh, or sneer uncontrollably at Kevin James dressed as Monica DelMonico from Soapdish? It’s the movies or standing in line at the Olive Garden with Aunt Matilda after her trip to the podiatrist. Kevin James in drag it is!

Now then, what looks good this week.

Rango:

This thing is getting rave reviews so far!

When Rango (Johnny Depp), a household pet chameleon sets out on a journey of self-discovery, he accidentally stumbles upon the town of Dirt, a lawless outpost in the Wild West. Coincidentally, the town is in need of a new sheriff, and Rango is just the man for the job.

What you can expect: Johnny Depp in full Pirates of the Caribbean cheekiness, but with some clever adult humor thrown in. Kids may not get all the jokes, but of course there are enough hijinks and antics that mostly they’ll love whatever is on the screen. Adults may find themselves laughing along with most everything, and Depp is pretty good at playing a caricature, so that goes a long way for an animated movie.

What could annoy: Johnny Depp. He’s great at what he does, but it’s possible that he’s becoming a one-note, and while it may work for an animated feature, the shtick could wear out its welcome. We’d mostly like to see him get away from such constant farciful fare. Also, bugs and geckos and things. Some people find them kind of icky…well, if they’re not Australian and starring in Geico commercials. This doesn’t look like a movie for the cuddly animated bunneh and kitteh group. I expect these crawly doodads to have plenty of bodily functions and the eating of snipes and snails. These movies come from a long line of creature-feature animated films. See: Bee Movie and Ants. The genre probably isn’t quite stale yet, but next to the emotional depth of Toy Story 3, this movie just could be pure fun, but on a very surface level.

The Adjustment Bureau:

The reviews so far are just eh. Not great, not terrible. Much less than I’m sure Damon was hoping for.

Ambitious politician David Norris (Matt Damon) stumbles upon bliss after finding true love with beautiful contemporary ballet dancer Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt). However, sustaining the heart of the lovely Elise proves more difficult than expected. When the couples’ sweet romance is derailed by a group of mysterious men who conspire to keep them apart, David must decide whether to let Elise go or continue in a dangerous game with fate.

What you can expect: Matt Damon and Emily Blunt looking beautiful and poignant in this supernatural time and fate turn. Judging from the trailer, Damon and Blunt have an easy chemistry. While the scenes with her running in heels and the “meet cute” on the bus were a bit trite, the notion of destiny and what you would sacrifice for love and happiness is always an audience pleaser, if not too cloying like a Meet Joe Black or a Benjamin Button. Loves conquering all despite sinister types (General Zod and Roger Sterling) with “big plans” are great for those frantic, running, pleading, awash with angst type films, and this seems to be one of them.

What could annoy: If it delivers like a knock-off Inception or something of that ilk. I think we can only stand one bend-a-brain movie at a time. I’m all for well-nuanced, well thought-out Sci-Fi, but not just turning a building upside down just because. And then there’s Mr. Damon. Well, Matt Damon hasn’t had much success lately has he? With the exception of a small role in True Grit, his latest supernatural effort in Hereafter wasn’t exactly a runaway hit for the Oscar winner. Is he too much of the thinking man’s movie actor that he doesn’t quite translate into these more emotional stories? Sometimes he does come off a bit cold, but that could just be the movies he chooses. The Good Shepherd, the Bourne movies, Green Zone (Bourne movie without the title), yeah, it seems he has trouble finding the “feeling zone.” Emily Blunt on the other hand is usually pretty fantastic. I’ll ignore the close resemblance she has to Katy Perry, even though that’s become a bit of an annoyance, and focus on how well her work has been lately. The Young Victoria was stellar. Keira Knightly, girl, you better start making films again.

Beastly:

Well, Alex Pettyfer, is pretty. So there’s that. The reviews of this modern-day spin on the classic fairytale “Beauty and the Beast” haven’t been good. In fact they’ve been awful.

Kyle Kingson (Alex Pettyfer) is living the teenage dream — he has privilege, popularity and good looks. He also has a knack for being one of the meanest guys around, constantly ridiculing his “unattractive” peers. Up to his usually tricks, Kyle invites Goth classmate Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen) to a school bash intent on humiliating her — but the jokes on him. Kendra retaliates by casting a spell on Kyle that physically transforms him into a social outcast. To reverse the curse, he must do the impossible — find someone to love him. Will he succeed?

What you can expect: Lots of teen-centered D.R.A.M.A and angst. Zac Effron’s ex-girlfriend is in this one, and mostly it looks like a message movie about loving oneself for what’s on the inside. Will it be the movie all the giggle-head kids will go see? Probably. It has cute guys and enviable girls, a Mary Kate Olsen spotting, plus magic and wickedness. This is kind of a prerequisite for teen films nowadays. This will be firmly lopped into the recent bombardment of young adult themes making their way to the big screen much like its rise in the publishing industry. Thanks Stephenie Meyer!

What could annoy: Pretty kids with seemingly everything who now face dealing with some imperfections in life. Could seem a bit shallow and inconsequential. The movie isn’t supposed to be more than popcorny fluff with some veiled messages thrown in. If you get that point and your kids understand, there’s really not much harm, well no more so than what most of the CW channel broadcasts. It’s also possible that the lessons about self-love and respect for others could get lost amongst the young Hollywood lovefest but I suppose we’re supposed to look past that because of the pretty people.

Take Me Home Tonight:

Is Topher Grace ever good in a movie? Ashton Kutcher’s inexplicable success must kill this guy. The reviews of this thing won’t make him feel any better.

Recent MIT grad Matt Franklin (Topher Grace) takes a part-time job working at a video store inside the local mall. But what looks like a dead-end job, becomes the biggest opportunity of Matt’s life when his high school crush (Teresa Palmer) walks through the door. When she invites him to an end-of-summer party, Matt, no doubt, leaps at the chance to score the girl of his dreams. With his twin sister Wendy (Anna Faris) and best friend Barry (Dan Fogler) by his side, Matt sets out on a hilarious evening filled with pranks, dance-offs and unforgettable moments.

What you can expect: Lot’s of 80’s music. Lot’s of seen before, done before things with 1980’s pop culture references. Sounds to me like an attempt at a John Hughesian film, but failing mostly. I’m thinking it’s because of Grace. He just seems like a dick, no? Anyway, all the formulaic fodder is there. There are popped collars and bad jokes about stealing cars and going to parties. Basically not much new territory is covered here. It may be an interesting way to spend a Sunday, but it doesn’t have nearly the anticipation of Hot Tub Time Machine, but seems to have the same outcome.

What could annoy: The entire thing. It just looks stupid and unnecessary. And again there’s Topher Grace.

Source: IVillage Entertainment