You know how Christian fundamentalists are always going on about how Halloween is an evil pagan holiday that glorifies Satan and tempts children toward the path of eternal damnation? The usual response from, you know, normal people is to be like “chill out, it’s just an excuse for kids to dress up and extort some candy from old people.” But my questions is: why would you want to deny Halloween’s badass nature? I mean, sure, we have a day honoring zombie resurrection, and a day that celebrates slaughtering a bunch of people and taking their land. But Halloween is the only holiday that’s based on an ancient festival named after Glenn Danzig’s second-coolest band and that encourages girls to dress up like slutty witches (who, as we know, were all about kinky devil sex). So the fundamentalists are actually right on this one: Halloween is evil, Satanic, and totally freaking awesome. Show our religious friends you agree by blasting these songs as loud as you can, preferably near a church.
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heavy metal
3 posts
World War II with a death metal soundtrack.
Retro Movie Reviews covers cult classics, films that while they may not have been a critical success have a fan following to this day. These are films that you may have seen as a kid on cable late at night and while the special effects are outdated, the dialogue may be cheesy and the budget may be suspect, these films will always be entertaining and hold a special place in your entertainment seeking heart. If you haven’t seen one of these movies you can almost never go wrong by picking one up to watch.
Heavy Metal is an animated sci-fi feature set to an awesome classic rock soundtrack. A series of tales told from the point of view of the Loc-Nar, the self-described sum of all evil. After killing her father and cornering a young girl, the Loc-Nar forces her to watch tale after tale of how it has spread its influence throughout the galaxy. From an alien-infested New York to the far reaches of space to fantasy worlds, the Loc-Nar is an unstoppable evil infesting the galaxy. Only one brave girl has a chance to stand up to the menace and save a generation from its evil influence. Continue reading