See what I did there? I used “To Do” which is sort of a generic errand list headline and appropriated it for Gawker dating because these are also people that I would “do” under the right circumstances, in this case “do” implying “have dirty sex with,” because “do” is often used as…what’s that? Get the hell on with it because no one cares what I have to say and everyone just wants to see the pretty people? All right then. Ungrateful bastards. Continue reading
GawkerDating
4 posts
You know how sometimes you find that perfect guy, but he’s 52, gay, and lives in Hawaii and you’re 24, straight, and live with your parents in Hoboken? Well, compound that by like a million and that’s what it’s like to look at GawkerDating as a Married. Because it’s more than reading a post and getting to that point where you see that the sexual orientations or locations don’t match up; it’s reading a post and seeing that even if everything matches up, it really doesn’t matter, and all you can do is make a creepy comment about the softness of some guy’s hair or excellence of some girl’s rack. Which isn’t to say that you (OK, we) want it to matter, but it feels like it should, like everyone should be able to get in on the fun equally, up until you send a picture of yourself to someone who decides you’re not hot and stops returning your PMs. Because isn’t that what life and love are all about? Continue reading
Here’s the thing about us all being such incredibly shallow bastards: Uh, we’re incredibly shallow bastards. We like photos, because looks matter, and while those who did post pictures turned out to be largely pleasant surprises, it’s impossible not to wonder what’s hiding behind those who are forgoing pictures in favor of a thousand words. Luckily, your favorite editorial assistant (I mean me, assholes) is here to decipher some choice words and phrases from actual Gawker Dating posts in order to help you understand who’s painting hot pictures and who’s basically spray-painting acne and man-boobs all over the place, using a little game I like to call “This is Where You Lost Me.” Continue reading
It was only a matter of time, really. Put together thousands of Internet people who only like talking to other Internet people and eventually everyone was bound to want to sleep with each other. Enter #GawkerDating, a portal to the weird wide world of weird wide people; some of whom sound awesome, some of whom sound terrifying, and all of whom haven’t seen someone naked in a while. Continue reading