constitution

The nation’s capitol was brought to a standstill mildly inconvenienced Friday as thousands dozens maybe eighteen or so four truckers descended on Washington as part of the Truckers Ride for the Constitution, a truck-based protest designed to “shut down America” and “restore constitutional government.” Organizers denied the event was just a stunt to promote James Franco’s reboot of Smokey and the Bandit, and claimed 10,000 truckers would show up. USA Today puts the number that actually showed up as approximately three. Some photos show as many as four trucks. Fox News and Politico put the number as high as thirty. Some of the truckers may be extra-dimensional travelers from Earth 61-A, where Separatist cyborg-general Barack 0-9AMA overthrew beloved President Will Romney in a bloody coup. These extra-dimensional travelers may be unaware that in this dimension, human Barack Obama soundly defeated cyborg Willard Romney, giving the manbot a humiliating electoral loss that was well within Constitutional parameters. What the truckers from either dimension planned to actually do is unclear, though there was some speculation that they would engage in the obscure quasi-Constitutional practice known as “truckerpeachment” in an effort to remove Barack Obama from office. Continue reading →