Is a Duggar Girl About to Be Released into the Wild?

If you’ve watched 19 Kids and Counting over the past several years, you’ve probably noticed there are several daughters that are in the midst of the fundamentalist marrying years. Some are even getting a bit on the old side, frankly. I hear rumors that Jana is 24 and she’s going to have to concentrate hard on breeding to get a mere 12 children. She’ll never catch up to her mom’s 19 children. The daughters are busy raising the younger children so mom and dad can go on speaking tours around the country so they’re plenty busy, but what about the girls’ uteruses (uteri?)

One son is married, but TLC isn’t getting much mileage out of him because of his personality. He’s been nicknamed Smuggar and the name is a good match. No one wants to hear him quack about politics or whatever it is he’s doing in D.C. Now that Michele is getting long in the tooth, there aren’t likely to be more babies. Gone are the days when the family tracked mom’s ovulation cycle so they could remind the parents to pork on mom’s fertile days. The show needs a new angle.

It has apparently been decided that Jessa Duggar will be furloughed in order to stimulate user interest. The show can buy quite a bit of interest from the restrictive courtship including Christian side hugs, frozen yogurt, monitored text messages and discussions about purity before marriage. Then, of course, there will be special editions surrounding the engagement and wedding along with gross references about how the couple will go from their first kiss to full on naughtiness in the course of one evening.

There has not been an engagement announcement, but if you check her side-hug male friend’s Facebook page, you’ll see many pictures of Jessa looking blissfully happy at yogurt stands. Ben Seewald, the male in question, is a passionate anti-abortion crusader. He even has an “I survived Roe v Wade” t-shirt. The word on the street is that he protests abortion every Saturday at the grocery store. The store in question does not appear to be an abortion provider, but still, you have to do what you can.

I’m glad that one daughter is being released from work camp, but I was really hoping they’d do something about Jana. She is developing a dead-behind-the eyes look as the years progress and a life of servitude to the fertile awaits her. If you look at pictures of the family, she is fading more and more into a miserable pile of an empty uterus. As for the other girls, yipes. I guess they can keep themselves busy taking care of the endless children Anna Duggar is producing.

The show premiers on April 1st and the first episode is entitled “A Duggar Dating Story.” Oooh! This just in:  Jill is being courted as well! The source is People magazine so it’s likely planted by the Duggars themselves. Nothing is in the offing for Jana, who is sinking into a pile of misery and dust like a Cinderella without a fairy godmother.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *