Never let Derpy drive the bus, triumph of the nerds, Romney’s wasted time, fear of a Romney Presidency, and Happy Colin Powell Endorsement Day!
Welcome to the Daily Sausage.
First up, we have an article from the always wonderful Wonkette, detailing how the Breitbart Empire has gone completely off the rails.
Among the True Wingnut Believers, however, the worst fear is that under the new management, Breitbart.com has lost its cherished quality of independence, that certain loose-cannon quality that outsiders might instead call “bugfuck-crazy irresponsibility,” as seen in the Shirley Sherrod smear or the Anthony Weiner dickopalooza. With the death of Breitbart himself, the site “lost a media savant… [who understood] how a good stunt, or a sophisticated prank could drive national news cycles for days.” In short, without the head clown, the circus just isn’t all that much fun anymore[.]
Never let Derpy drive the bus.
K-Thug is back, praising the work of Nate Silver, and roundly mocking Intrade. Works for me.
Young Conor Friedersdorf makes today’s roundup, writing a pre-election obituary for Romney’s campaign.
When we set out on this long, strange campaign, so many years ago, we believed that it would be an election predicated on the economy; if it was good, Obama would win re-election, and if it bad, we’d end up with President Romney.
Before Romney even declared, we had to deal with Donald Trump and Sarah Palin, both of whom crossed the divide from “political candidates” to “reality TV stars” a very, very long time ago.
Then the bugfuck-crazy and irresponsible Republican base made Mitt Romney share a stage with Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, and Rick Perry for a couple of months while kicking the tires on each of them in succession, followed inevitably by Mitt Romney turning his money hose on them and blasting them each in the face with a giant load of cash like he was re-enacting Peter North’s Greatest Hits.
This was all a tremendous waste of time and money that Mitt Romney probably could have used to better make the case against Barack Obama.
Then came the GOP’s fail parade, where it seems like every couple of days some GOP Congressman, Senator, or Candidate said something stupid in earshot of a reporter, and then lacked the good sense God gave vegetables and invertebrates to repeat it in range of a recording device, forcing Mitt to respond to every dumbass thing members of his party actually believe.
Finally, we get to the GOP Convention, which was notable for A) the almost complete absence of anyone not-white and B) Clint Eastwood rambling at an empty chair, which apparently told him the President told him to shut the fuck up. I bet there was more than one Mitt Romney staffer there that night that wished Clint had listened to the damn chair.
That brings us to the debates. Mitt Romney came out swinging with a commanding performance based almost entirely on lying his ass off on stage to the American people. Obama and Biden came swinging back, beating Romney and Ryan like they were their sparring partners prepping heavyweights for a prizefight.
Ultimately, if Mitt Romney loses, it won’t be because Obama was a better candidate or ran a better campaign. It’ll be because the GOP base forced him and his running mate into untenable positions and wasted their time over and over again on utter crap, purely because they’re all crazy and irresponsible.
However, let us ponder another scenario: what if Mitt Romney wins? Well, other than ushering four years of darkness and madness, there is the possibility that President Romney could be the GOP’s Jimmy Carter. A divisive President, unable to keep the Reagan coalition together in the face of increasingly nutty demands from all sectors of the party, watching as the GOP rips itself apart from within while heralding a new age of liberalism.
And finally, Happy Colin Powell Endorsement Day! Colin Powell has emerged from the Shame Grotto he’s been hiding in since he lied to the United Nations about Iraq to endorse President Barack Obama for a second term.
Our nation’s first Hypothetical Black President endorses our first Actual Black President. It’s a great day to be an American.
