French Magazines Ruining Everyone’s Week

Apparently the French have decided to wage war on PR reps and Kate Middleton’s boobs. All in a day’s work, eh? Haha? Well, okay that would be ascribing to a petty stereotype about the French being self-involved, ego-maniacal, loo-loo birds who go around slapping people, smoking cigarettes out of filters and reveling in the occasional bit of co-opted nudity. Er, okay. Most of that happened this week.

According to Women’s Wear Daily, at the Zac Posen show during Fashion Week, an order by NYC’s fire marshal ended in a slap and a $1 million lawsuit. The marshal cut 60 seats just before the show and Lynn Tesoro (founder of PR firm HL Group, which represents Posen) was trying to work within the new limitations and find seats for 60 notables without causing a scene. Enter French publishing exec Marie-José Susskind-Jalou and her two daughters who work for Jalouse magazine. Mother and daughters began screaming that Tesoro wasn’t finding them seats fast enough. An argument ensued, and daughter Jennifer “Right Hook” Eymere said to Tesoro, “Don’t speak to my mom like this. You have to stop speaking like that. Be careful, I am going to slap you…” KAPOW FREEDOM FRIES! This is what happened. She landed a solid one across Tesoro’s face. That’s how you wake up a fashion show. Just start teeing off with chin jabs across the mandible. That’s the way to go. Forget all about decorum or decency or maturity. Just start cracking insolents across the cheekbones. That’s how you do it, right, Jennifer?

“I didn’t hurt her; it was just to humiliate her. She humiliated my mom, and I humiliated her in front of her crew. Voilà. I just said at the end, ‘Now you know you don’t f–k with French people.'”

Exactly.

Well, no, not really.

That little bit of Rocky Balboa muscle flex at the end could cost Ms. Eymere a cool $1 million since Lynn Tesoro will be suing her over claims of “assault, battery, emotional distress, slander and/or libel.”

Sounds to us like a pretty costly reason to say “fuck” with regard to French people. Let us introduce you to the litigious American system, that says, “Oh, yeah, don’t fuck with my face or I’ll sue your ass.” Heh.

Not to be outdone as reported earlier today, French mag Closer, published photos of Kate Middleton’s nudie bits while she and Prince William were vacationing at a private house in Provence last week when Middleton decided to sunbathe topless. Egads.

After failing at selling the photos to British papers who step gingerly around the royals, the French rag picked it up and ran the photos. The royal couple is said to be “furious” about the “grotesque” invasion of privacy and eluded to the death of Princess Diana in their official statement.

“The incident is reminiscent of the worst excesses of the press and paparazzi during the life of Diana, Princess of Wales, and all the more upsetting to The Duke and Duchess for being so.”

More than likely the royal couple will go ahead with legal action.

Lesson to be learned here perhaps — if you’re a member of the Royal Family it may be best to walk around with your own personal nudie tent just in case you happen to be nude anytime not expressly in Buckingham Palace.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *