The Mittstorm Cometh IV: The Clusterfcuk Home, C-Plus Augustus gets downgraded to a D-Minus, Rush Limbaugh moves to Santa Prisca, Conservative media fail, the Tennessee Tea Party has lost their goddamn mind, Filibuster reform, the fiscal cliff, and the Boy Scouts are a hate group.
Welcome to the Daily Sausage.
First up, The Mittstorm Cometh IV: The Clusterfcuk Home!
Also via Buzzfeed (in a rare “double-whammy” decision), Democrats are thrilled because if Mitt Romney’s dropping the gloves, it means he’s running scared and he’s got a glass jaw. Best quote: “W-T-F. This is insane. Do they even know what they’re doing anymore?”. No Timmy, no they don’t.
Of course, as the venerable Charles P. Pierce notes, when you’re borrowing talking points from Princess Dumbass of the Northwoods, you’re already running a few lengths below the intellectual Mendoza line.
The truth is this: no one really likes Mitt Romney. He bought himself the nomination by dropping stacks of cash on a group of candidates so embarassing the Republican party should have disbanded itself out of pure shame for putting such egregiously unqualified individuals up for election to the Presidency.
What’s worse is that the chorus for Mitt Romney to release his tax returns is continuing to grow ever louder from the conservative wings, with the National Review and Texas Governor Rick Perry piling on.
So, Mitt Romney finds himself flush with cash but unable to drop Brinks trucks on a personally popular President, who’s hammering him hard on his personal history as a professional vulture capitalist born with a platinum spoon up his nose that can’t relate to anyone that doesn’t make seven figures a year, and consequently doing whatever he can to change the subject.
I have only one question for Mitt Romney: What does President Obama look like?
Mittstorm Rating: Level 6 – Shit Just Got Real
Our National Nightmare, previously referred to as the Bush II Administration, has been downgraded from C-Plus to D-Minus, after former President George W. Bush was quoted saying “Eight years was awesome, and I was famous and I was powerful.”. Let us all hang our heads in shame reflect that he was elected and then reelected.
Next up, in my continuing efforts to wade into the swamps of the right wing internet, I bring you this mental diarrhea from Rush Limbaugh: the villain in Christopher Nolan’s new Batman movie, Bane, is meant as a direct attack on Mitt Romney’s former company, Bain Capital.
This insults me, as both a comic book fan and as a human being with functional neurons.
Bane was first introduced in 1993. 1993, as you all may note, was six years before Mitt Romney retroactively retired from Bain Capital in 1999, from three years later in 2002. Note: If the verbal construction of that sentence makes your head hurt, don’t worry; that feeling’s normal when discussing Mitt Romney and time travel. 1993 is a full ten years before Mitt Romney was elected Governor of Massachusetts, fourteen years before he ran for President, and eighteen years before he ran for President again.
Bane the villain is, of course, named after the word “bane”, which is defined as “A cause of great distress or annoyance” or “Something, typically poison, that causes death.”. It’s used in the popular colloquialism “the bane of my existence”. The definition of the word “bane” goes back to the 1570s.
So, unless I’ve finally gone mad, Rush Limbaugh is suggesting that there is a liberal conspiracy stretching back over 400-ish years to tie the word “bane” to Bain Capital as part of a plot to undermine Mitt Romney.
I’m just gonna leave this here.
In other conservative media fail, a conservative blogger contact Connie Schultz to get a comment for a story about journalists in the elite media socializing with the politicians they cover, specifically regarding photographs showing Mrs. Schultz and Democratic Congressman Sherrod Brown together, and apparently hugging as well.
This was Mrs. Schultz’s reply:
Dear Mr. [Name Deleted]:
I am surprised you did not find a photo of me kissing U.S. Sen. Sherrod Brown so hard he passes out from lack of oxygen. He’s really cute.
He’s also my husband.
You know that, right?
Connie Schultz.
She has, sadly, declined to name the individual or publication responsible, thus sparing them from the very well deserved taunting due them.
Tennessee has been remarkably quiet lately. Seems like the crazy’s all been places like Arizona, Mississippi, Texas, and Florida. Let’s see what’s going on there.
“Tennessee Tea Partiers: Stop employing Muslims, Gays, Democrats”
*backs out of thread*
In less sexy but still worth noting news, Harry Reid has given Filibuster Reform a great big old bear hug, promising to pass filibuster reform in the next Congress if Democrats retain the Senate. Of course, this says nothing of what will happen if the GOP takes the Senate and keeps the House. Fortunately, there’s no way they’d be able to drum up the two-thirds support necessary in either house of Congress to override a Presidential veto, so as long as we’ve got the Big O, we’re in good shape.
In further Congressional news, Senate Democrats have a plan to break the GOP’s opposition to the extension of middle class tax cuts without extending them for the rich as well: allow them to expire, then vote on a middle class tax cut shortly thereafter. Personally, I’d rather see the tax cuts as a whole expire; the less left of the Bush II Administration on the books, the better.
Finally, the Boy Scouts of America have announced that they will continue their long-standing policy of discrimination against LGBT scouts and scout leaders and will not reconsider the policy. Fuck you, Boy Scouts of America.
