Shit just got real.
We lead off with an article from McKay Coppins of BuzzFeed Politics, in which he reports the Romney campaign is going to start calling Democrats and the President a liar.
Holy fuckbeans, are you fucking kidding me?
Mitt Romney, who hasn’t uttered a completely true sentence since 2008; who has taken political positions IN OPPOSITION TO HIMSELF, FOUR YEARS AGO; who has been noted by every journalist that’s not completely in the tank for “fairness” and “balance” as being COMPLETELY full of shit; is going to go after the President and Democrats for telling the TRUTH about his record at Bain Capital.
Mother of God. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.
I mean, it’s possible that the Obama Campaign is finally getting under his skin, that they’re seeing traction with calling Romney the Outsourcer-In-Chief and comparing him to the Bobs from Office Space. Maybe when Boss Hogg Stand-In Haley Barbour says that he should release more tax returns, Mitt gets a little sweaty (or whatever fluid it is he excretes from his android body).
It’s also possible that, four months before the election, we’ve already reached the bottom of the barrel. That we’re going to spend the next four months watching Mitt Romney and President Obama gleefully wade into the shitpile and start flinging it at eachother like angry chimpanzees. I mean Jesus, if this is what we’re going to be subjected to, and we haven’t even hit the conventions yet, why not just have a reality show instead of an election?
While we’re discussing GOP insanity, we’d be remiss if we didn’t talk about Maine Governor Paul LePage, who snuck into office after his opponents split their vote. Governor LePage had to apologize after comparing the implementation of Obamacare and the IRS to the new Gestapo. That sound you hear is the sound of a million nerds on a thousand political message boards going “OOH! OOH! GODWIN’S LAW! GODWIN’S LAW!”
ThinkProgress’ Ben Sherman reports that Texas Governor Rick Perry has stated that Texas, which leads the nation in number of uninsured individuals, will not be implementing either the expanded Medicaid funds or state insurance exchanges as outlined in the Affordable Care Act.
Governor Perry joins other Republican Governors around the country in pledging to turn down the new funds, despite the fact that the states lead by said governors have the most uninsured Americans.
Elections have consequences, folks.
Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi pens another sterling article on the difference between British and American regulation of the financial industries. See, in the UK, the Barclays CEO and senior officials were pushed out of their jobs by “an inflection of the eyebrows” from Bank of England Chief Mervyn King. In the US, Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner would have to stop blowing Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankfein long enough to raise an eyebrow.
Here’s the problem: it’s entirely systemic. It’s not just rogue bankers anymore. It’s not even rogue banks. The entire global financial industry has gone rogue. In a survey of 500 senior executives in the US and UK, 24% said they believed financial services professionals may need to engage in unethical or illegal conduct to be successful.
Holy fuckbeans, are you fucking kidding me?
What the fuck other industry could get away with saying that? That’s like saying “24% of 500 doctors surveyed said it was necessary to be high on nitrous oxide during surgery to be successful.” That’s like saying “24% of lawyers surveyed said it was necessary to be blasted out of your mind on coke while in court to be successful.”. That’s like saying “24% of 500 professional athletes surveyed said it was necessary to inject horse hormones into your ass until your balls shrink to the size of raisins and you grow tits in order to be successful.”.
Mother of God, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.
I used to think that it was possible to save Wall Street. That maybe more government regulation was the answer. That maybe throwing a few people in jail would straighten the place out. I don’t think that’s the solution anymore. I don’t think that Wall Street, in it’s present form, is capable of being saved. I think the corruption has gone too far. I don’t even know if amputation is an option; it’s possible that the Big Banks must die so something better can grow in their place.
And finally, in lighter news, New Jersey Governor Chris “Sandwiches” Christie spoke out against the Drug War, saying “The war on drugs, while well-intentioned, has been a failure.”
I certainly bag on more than my fair share of Republicans here, so I’d be remiss if I didn’t give them some props for actually doing or saying the right thing once in a while. So, you go, Governor Sandwiches. And none for Gretchen Weiners.
