So Crasstalk this week will be rife with vaginas and bacon. Could “Vaginas and Bacon” be a new band name? Absolutely. We’re two for two with the former, so it’s time to up the ante with the latter and add one more thing about bacon.
Here’s something fun you can do with lots and lots of meat. Oh, stop it. We don’t mean that kind of “meat.” Get your heads out your vaginas, peeps. This is purely about turning meat (bacon especially) into words, and this is something you should really aspire to.
Baconipsum.com is a word generator website. What makes it different is its ability to transform block text normally called lorem ipsum, which is the filler placeholder text one would use if they were doing design mockups, and turns it into meat frenzy text.
You have a couple options. You decide how many paragraphs of text you need and choose if you want all meat, or meat and filler. When you’re done, click on “Give me bacon” and voila! filer text made of meat, oh, yummy meat.
Chuck bresaola hamburger ball tip corned beef turkey. Tri-tip drumstick strip steak, cow pig jerky capicola turkey ham shankle boudin flank tenderloin pastrami. Ribeye rump pancetta, strip steak ground round brisket bresaola drumstick chicken pork loin jerky meatloaf filet mignon turducken venison. Beef ribs strip steak kielbasa, cow flank sausage ham hock ham pancetta jowl pork chop meatloaf venison spare ribs. Filet mignon sausage rump capicola pancetta, pork strip steak. Sirloin ball tip spare ribs jowl, filet mignon pork loin meatball tri-tip turducken drumstick bresaola flank.
And because the makers of Baconipsum.com know that you may not be down with all the “kielbasa” they’ve also inspired the same thing with Tuna, Veggies, or even Pasta which is hilarious, and may outshine the original Bacon generator for the simple fact that you can add “random profanity.”
Pasta ipsum dolor sit amet penne rigate campanelle casarecce farfalle quadrefiore fedelini. Penne zita linguine scialatelli chifferi bavettine bitches motherfucker foglie d’ulivo rotini spaghettini pappardelle. Penne rigate cellentani son of a bitch bitches fagioloni tortelloni fusilli bucati vermicelloni shitty shitty dickhead. Mezzani pasta maltagliati cavatappi mezze penne tortellini gramigna sagnarelli rotini rigatoni.
Calamarata dickhead bavettine dammit pappardelle fusilli lunghi maccheroncelli. Asshole vermicelli quadrefiore fusilli bucati strozzapreti ricciutelle ziti frakking mezzelune gnocchi motherfucker. Tuffoli pizzoccheri occhi di lupo trennette sumbitch mezzelune fusilli foglie d’ulivo damn campanelle tortellini cencioni piece of shit gramigna campanelle. Orecchiette gigli fedelini stringozzi spaghetti ricciolini ciriole scialatelli shitty.
Okay, yes, we spent about fifteen minutes playing with all of these while planning the right time to use it and not tell our boss. Something about sending the boss copy that has “shitty shitty dickhead” in it is more than tempting. Well, okay, we played with most of them. The one about skateboarding just made us feel old and like we need a cardigan in 80 degree weather. So we left that one alone, mostly. Do the skateboarders still say “Gnarly” and “Party on, Dude?” Okay, whatever. Skrillex.
