True Blood is the worst, guys. My boyfriend said last season, “Man, they’re not even trying to hide the fact that this show is just weird creature porn.” Well put, boyfriend! Well put. Anyway, the only way I was going to continue watching this mess was if I had the opportunity to point out how terrible it is. I mean, how many times can I point (publicly) out how great Eric would look giving me a mustache ride?
And so without further adeiu, the five best (worst?) telenovela faces in last night’s episode, “Turn! Turn! Turn!”
1. Sookie pleads with Pam to turn her best friend into the thing she hates the most. Friendship!
2. Jason’s response to a confession of love from a gay Christian vampire. (This show is so god damn ridiculous.)
3. Eric lovingly and passionately making out with his sister (or rather, “sister”).
4. Lafayette wants to know WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
5. Smug Hoyt is smug because his best friend slept with his girlfriend. Yo Hoyt, “girlfriend fucker” is not much of an insult so maybe being smug is the wrong decision?
It’s unfortunate that Tara spent most of the episode dead because based on her history, she would have had at least three of the top five slots.
And some honorable non-face mentions:
Nipples conveniently covered by hair
Pam’s Wal Mart jumpsuit
That’s all folks! Don’t expect a play-by-play recap for this show from me–it’s just too absurd for words. There’s only so much hate-fucking a gal can do.
