Whitney says I told you so, and we all gag; Dane Cook to probably make finger-guns; a Happy Ending that has no signs of a Travolta…ouch; Gossip Girl has staying power; attention Houston, we have a problem; 30 Rock can’t contain Jack Donaghy; Emmy news!
Despite what nearly everyone said about patently unfunny person Whitney Cummings, NBC has gone ahead and renewed the show Whitney for another season. So that’s like hearing about the co-worker you loathe getting a big bonus even though she sleeps in the ladies room, and steals yogurt out the company fridge. So that’s awesome. It was like a bare-knuckled war. That Whitney would just not let NBC go! It seemed like there were just so many episodes that at the end of the season each character was collecting a pension. So a whole new season of this then?! Great. It’ll be like visiting Sue from Receivables in the after-life. In better news, Parks and Rec has been picked up, so we’ll get a chance to see Aubrey Plaza’s mirthless eyeballs yet again, and Christina Applegate and Will Arnet will have more opportunities to flip-out weekly over the smallest of things like we dunno, a dirty diaper in a hamper, in their little show, Up All Night. [Deadline 1, 2]
NBC also decided to cut some of the chum on the network and has cancelled floundering Harry’s Law while also doing away with hilariously greenlit sitcoms, Are You There, Chelsea, BFF and Bent as well as drama Awake. This isn’t a shock. However, this is. NBC has also picked up a new comedy pilot starring forever jackass, Dane Cook. It’ll be called Next Caller Please and he’ll play some sort of Shock Jock. Oh, rly? We totally thought it would’ve been called, DudeBro’s, Dudebro, Dude. [Deadline]
We were half a heartbeat away from concern for Damon Wayans, Jr. until we heard Happy Endings got renewed for a third season. My goodness! What would we have done if ABC decided not to renew? Probably pelt the offices with ham. Why ham? Because this is the traditional Brad and Jane greeting! Do you not watch the show? So, yes, a full-on ham assault would’ve been called for, but luckily ABC did the right thing. They’ve also renewed a slew of their scripted hits including Modern Family, The Middle, Grey’s Anatomy, Castle, Once Upon a Time, Suburgatory, Revenge, and late comer Scandal. However things didn’t pan out for GCB, which we assumed was some sort of retread, renamed, Bitchy Christian Desperate Housewives. Also some show about the mysterious swamps of Borneo or whatever, called The River has been canned. And if any of you care, America’s Funniest Hits to the Balls, and Swap My Wife’s Trailer, will also return next season. [Deadline 1, 2, Vulture]
Over at the kid’s table, the CW also had a few renewals. The show about headbands, ascots, and drunken hookups, Gossip Girl will be back, and so will Nikita and Hart of Dixie. Are those Gossip Girl people still in high school or are they all in loveless marriages with painkiller addictions and nannies named Hyacinth? This is like the second coming of Dawson’s Creek where all its fans sit around in college dorms, wearing shorts with Juicy on the ass, watching this show every week with their smart phones and Twitter feeds fused to their faces. Sigh. The network has also picked up the Sex And The City prequel, The Carrie Diaries, the Green Arrow-themed Arrow, the contemporary reboot of the 1980s series Beauty and the Beast, mystery Cult, and medical drama First Cut starring Mamie Gummer. I’d like to think Mamie Gummer knows how to play the banjo. I have no knowledge of this, but Gummer sounds like someone who can banjo her pigtails off. Unfortunately, Sarah Michelle Geller’s Ringer and The Secret Circle, the long-winded show about witches and magic crystals, because of course, has been canceled. [Deadline 1, 2]
Lifetime the network about ladies with lady parts and hand jobs, has signed several members of Whitney Houston’s family for a reality show, including Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina. This sounds like an awful idea. Do you remember Being Bobby Brown? Somehow grief, raw emotion, pseudo-celebrity, and the spotlight don’t really mix, and this could be something even more detrimental to the family. So, Lifetime, what are you guys doing? I don’t really get that Drop Dead Diva show either, but that doesn’t mean I need a show about the lives of the remaining family members. Pass. [Deadline]
Alec Baldwin who always seems to be Alec Baldwin in Jack Donaghy’s shoes has signed on to do two new movies. First, he’ll team up with Russell Brand, the tight-panted, British hair ape, to do something about nannies and booky wooks, or whatever Brand does now. He’ll also be in Woody Allen’s next international jaunty film which will probably take place in Rome or Morocco, since Allen has said “Bah!” to NYC. Cate Blanchett and Bradley Cooper are rumored to also co-star. Which seems a bit like pitting a great actress against a French-speaking, but otherwise inanimate movie poster. So, there’s that. [Deadline]
Emmy Buzz: “Zou Bisou Bisou” herself, Jessica Paré, better known to Mad Men fans as Megan, will compete in the leading actress category. Really? What do you think? We agree with Vulture that Elisabeth Moss (Peggy) would be a much better fit. C’mon “Do YOU know where Abe is?” was fantastic. [Vulture]
