Everybody’s favorite Google Search emollient, Rick Santorum, has a lot to say about sex — gay sex. I can’t determine if his comments last night are the most ironic thing ever, or just the most recent sad, and pathetic bit of mouth garble to dump its way out of the mottled maw of one Rick Santorum. Probably and forever the latter.
Apparently, the presidential candidate got flustered when asked a question regarding gay marriage, and went on some nutterbag rant about what people who are not Rick Santorum or Rick Santorum’s genitals, do with their sex pieces. Yes, folks, Santorum would now like to gain entry to your bedrooms and in the midst of taking notes — uh, he’d like to totally scold you for enjoying the slap and tickle of your choosing.
ABC News reported that a recent graduate of Dordt College asked Santorum about his anti-same sex marriage stance and seemed astounded when the graduate didn’t think same sex marriage would “be a hit to faith and family in America.”
And this is where your head explodes. Santorum went on to say “that if same sex marriage was legalized then “their sexual activity” would be seen as “equal” to heterosexual relationships and it would be taught in schools.”
“Really- wow- um okay, well let’s see if we can have a discussion. We can flesh [Spirit Fingers giggles at his use of flesh] out some, well, let’s look at what’s going to be taught in our schools because now we have same sex couples being the same and their sexual activity being seen as equal and being affirmed by society as heterosexual couples and their activity,” Santorum said.
“So what is going to be taught to our people in health class in our schools? What is going to be taught to our children about who in our stories, even to little children – what are married couples? What families look like in America? So, you are going to have in our curriculum spread throughout our curriculum worldview that is fundamentally different than what is taught in schools today? Is that not a consequence of gay marriage?” he added.
Holy Crappin Christmas! You mean they could start teaching Gay Sex Ed in schools?! Why no! Not everyone should know the way their bodies work, be given condoms, or be told how to avoid STDs. That’s just for people who smash together man and lady parts! And about this whole equality bit — only the heteros should eat in the fine American family establishments that cover our country from coast to coast! McRibs for all. Eat pork colons! All you other non-heteros — organic kale and decadent, socialist humus for you. To the Stocks! That’s right, no sweater vests, and bedazzled bolo ties for any of you cavorting, sex humus eaters!
Sigh.
Another day. Another day of Santorum’s Santorum making him an idiot.
