New Moms at Risk for Depression

I read an article a while back in which pediatricians recommended depression screenings for new moms. After you have a baby, your OBGYN may ask you some questions about post-partum depression. However, in this article, Canadian doctors recommended that pediatricians screen for depression in new moms.

This is a good idea because as you moms know, you are at the pediatrician every 5 minutes, it seems, especially with your first baby. There are all these developmental milestones and issues to worry about and vaccines and lectures and that constant weighing. New babies must constantly be weighed to make sure they are gaining weight, but not too much weight. You probably also visit the pediatrician a lot because as a new mom, you are terrified every time the baby coughs, sneezes, spits up, sleeps through a feeding, poops something weird or does anything new. It’s so stressful because you’re new to the game and convinced that you are doing something wrong. My mom called the pediatrician the first time my brother sneezed. She was in a panic only a new first-time mom can appreciate.

If you don’t have children, you might wonder why a new mom might be depressed. You might be especially confused if the baby was planned. Isn’t this what the mother wanted? Why on earth would the mother of a healthy baby be depressed? Sure, the baby looks more like a hairless rat than a Gerber baby, but she must have known that babies don’t start out very good looking.
Well, for starters, newborns provide feedback vigorously. Sometimes, they scream all the damn time. It’s very easy to anger a newborn. Here are some of the things that anger newborns:

  • Feedings
  • Lack of feeding
  • Gas
  • Noise
  • Quiet
  • Swaddling
  • Rocking
  • Lack of rocking
  • Not being held by Mom
  • Being held by Mom
  • Clothing
  • Nudity
  • Dirty diaper
  • Clean diaper
  • You are breathing too loud
  • Fluctuations in the Dow
  • Changes in atmospheric pressure
  • Changes in formula
  • Changes in the mother’s diet if breastfeeding
  • Changes in the return policy at Target

There are some things about being a new mom that no one can really prepare you for. One is the sensation of a healing episiotomy scar. It’s a feeling like no other. Another is a healing c-section scar which has the added bonus of the judgment you may receive for not having a natural birth. Then there’s the fact that it’s next to impossible to get a shower because your baby, who you thought would be a super-cute baby but looks more like crib larvae, will not stop screaming or pooping.

Other reasons for depression include being trapped in the house, not being able to finish a sentence because you are so unbelievably exhausted, sheer tiredness the likes of which you have never known, and the feeling of betrayal you get when you realize you still need to wear maternity clothes. That put together with the hormone cocktail a new mother receives could spiral anyone into a depression. I know that I, personally, spent 45 minutes in the bathroom crying because someone sent my son a windup toy that play “Hush Little Baby” and it was just the saddest song I had ever heard. Hormones can play mind tricks on you.

I think all new moms should be alerted to how real the possibility of this depression can be because it can be difficult. Even moms who don’t struggle with depression aren’t likely caught up in the state of bliss the media leads you to expect. The first six weeks of motherhood can be brutal. You’re sort of removed from real life and it can make it difficult to see things clearly.

I also, selfishly, wanted to post this because I am dying to hear post-partum stories from other Crasstalkers. I know there are some good ones out there. I’ll even help by embarrassing myself some more:

  • I burst into tears at Thanksgiving dinner and asked my husband if he would ever want to have sex with me again (the baby was 2 weeks old). I’m pretty sure my mother overheard me.
  • I nearly tackled a woman who asked me when I was due. I was holding the baby. I knew I wasn’t losing the weight very quickly but she didn’t have to rub it in.

 

Top image here.

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