So last time we updated you on Crassballin’, the official Crasstalk March Madness Bracket Contest, a certain Dancing Queen was cruising to glory on the backs of her own Arizona Wildcats and their utter destruction of Duke.
(Have I mentioned that I’ve coined a new term for when one derives pleasure from Duke’s pain? It’s called krzyzadenfreude.)
Well, so much can change in a week. Dancing Queen and her fellow Arizonians had the worst week by a group of desert-people since the Libyan rebels lost control of Benghazi. Now it looks like she’s well behind Crasstalk Bracketologist “ian ego,” who just may have this thing locked up if the University of Connecticut Wasps Huskies can win it all.
Obviously, that is a murder’s row of complex b-ball knowledge. I know for a fact that Tunamelt and Dancing Queen frequently spend their time breaking down the 2-3-1 zone defense and pick-and-roll. Good luck competing with that, fellas.
And speaking of the fellas, while perusing the standings, I went looking to see how your Crasstalk godfathers DogsOfWar and Botswana Meat Commission FC did in the bracket contest. Hmmm. Let’s see. Where are we? Scrolling down, scrolling down. OH THERE WE ARE.
Tied for 58th… out of 62. That’s OK, I don’t really look good in a thong, anyway. Dogs provided his own typically-Dogs-esque excuse explanation: “I was doing so well for a while. Then I got boxed out.” I hate when that happens!
Final Four Picks
I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but there are only three more games left in the college basketball season. That means three more games before we’re left with nothing but the NBA playoffs, 300 billion meaningless summer baseball games and something called the “NHL playoffs” (I’m just assuming the NFL is never coming back). So let’s savor them.
VCU vs. Butler (Saturday at 6:09 EST)
Can you even believe VCU has come this far? I still do not understand how Kansas managed to shit the bed the way they did last weekend. How can some of the nation’s top ballers suddenly forget how to shoot free-throws or even just fucking shoot at all? A Kansas team with better leadership would have stomped all over VCU and I think Butler has enough of that to get past them. Butler is giving 2.5 points. I say take it! (Disclaimer: Do not actually take my betting advice unless you hate money.)
Kentucky vs. UConn (Saturday at 8:49 EST)
Now these are two scrappy underdogs teams that any Real American can get behind! In our age of tainted college athletic scandals, it’s nice to see these two programs competing without resorting to the kind of shady recruiting scandals that plague other schools! Oh geez, I just barfed all over my Pumas. Ok, I feel better now. So yeah, Saturday’s late game features two teams with some of the highest payrolls in the NCAA. (And I’m not even talking about the coaches.) Have you seen Kemba Walker’s killer stepback move to beat Pitt in the Big East Tournament? This is a team loaded with talent that can score at will when they’re all working together. They’re getting 2.5 points. I like it! Get ready for UConn vs. Butler in the final!
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