The Des Moines Register has endorsed Mitt Romney for president. This is their first endorsement of a Republican presidential candidate since the spectacularly successful presidency of sweaty felon Richard Nixon.
The endorsement was not without controversy, according to reports, with considerable whiskey-fueled shouting coming from the editorial offices. “Mr Romney exudes a virile, Nixonian charm, a heady can-do musk that will get this country back to work,” the endorsement drunkenly opines. The logic-free piece praises President Obama’s stimulus package, rambles a bit, and then asserts that consumer and business confidence will rise through a magical, unexplained process if Nixon Romney is elected. Continue reading