crasstalk classic

4 posts

Crasstalk Reaches One Thousand Posts

Congratulations Crasstalkers, yesterday we reached the one thousand post mark. Thanks to your hard work we are now even closer to winning the Internet.

This is what victory looks like!

Also, the 13th of this month will be the 6 month anniversary of the founding of Crasstalk so I thought it would be a good time to look back on a few of the really great articles that have appeared here. Here is the first post ever posted on Crasstalk by our Beloved Leader. It actually just contained this prophetic video.

Here are a few articles that I think have been especially memorable. This list isn’t even close to exhaustive, so please feel free to add your own choices in the comments.

As I said before, there are many, many more. A huge thank you to all of you have put in your time and effort to get this place up and running. Hopefully, this will be the first of many thousands of great articles.

Image From Dogs of War's first post.

 

Image from The Grand Inquisitor's first post.

Crass Classic: A Beer Geek’s Guide To San Francisco

In the early days, Crasstalk was a backwater with few visits but so many great things to share.  To help bring some of those early posts to light we present Crasstalk Classic.  Our latest classic post goes all the way back to December 2010 when cacahuate showed us where to drink great beer in a city that really loves its beer.

 

21st Amendment Brewery – Brewery/ Full Bar/Restaurant – South of Market – An awesome place to have lunch or dinner, in a big rustic old warehouse.  They brew their own but also have a few guest handles that change seasonally.  I think they have moved most of the brewing off-site at this point, but occasionally they still do small batches on-site.  No tour, unfortunately.  Beers of note: Hell or High Watermelon Wheat Beer, Monk’s Blood Belgian Dark Ale.

City Beer Store – Retail/Beer only – South of Market – A small and friendly place to sit down and enjoy some weirdbeers, buy bottled beers to go, or both.  A huge selection to choose from.  Really, if you can’t find it anywhere, they probably have it here.

Anchor Brewing – Brewery/Tours – Potrero Hill – A stalwart institution in SF.  Fritz Maytag recently sold the brewery (however, Fritz is still making his own wine, and distilling some damn good gin, whiskey, and other spirits).  The best thing about Anchor is they have a free tour (you need to call and make reservations up to 6 months in advance, but it is so worth it).  It’s about a 45 minute tour, extremely informative if you are not familiar with the brewing process, and the brewery itself is beautiful.  AND you get to sample most of their beers at the end of the tour.  Did I mention it’s free?  If you can only go to one place on this list, this would be the one.  Beers of note: Christmas Ale (different every year, they really have fun with this one), Summer Beer, the original Anchor Steam, Old Foghorn Barleywine Style Ale.

Speakeasy – Brewery/Tours – Bayview/Hunter’s Point – Another local brewery.  Firkin Friday Open House (4-9pm, tour at 4pm sharp).  On tap in many places locally.  Best hoodies and t-shirts (if you go for schwag), their logo is awesome.  Beers of note: Big Daddy IPA.  Also, just FYI, for some reason lots of hotties (burly, tattooed, bearded, Carhart and workboot wearing dudes) work there.  We got a Christmas card one year from them, and I can’t even tell you how many friends of mine made a beeline right for it once they spotted the group photo on the front of the card.

Toronado/Rosamunde – Bar/Sausage Grill – Lower Haight– Toronado is the place for a beer geek.  About 50 beers on draft, and many, many more available in bottles.  Lots of Belgian beers here.  Also the site of the once a year Barleywine festival, which is always a total zoo (next year’s dates are 2/19/11-2/21/11).  I love this place because it is next door to Rosamunde Sausage Grill, so you can get a snack and take it next door into the Toronado to enjoy with your beer.

Magnolia Brewery – Brewery/Food – Upper Haight – Great food, great beers.  In the heart of the Haight, on a street corner with wraparound windows for excellent people watching.  Draft and cask conditioned ales available.  Beers of note: too many to list, I have never had a beer here that I didn’t like.

Zeitgeist – Bar/Food – Mission – Friday happy hour here is one of the best in the City.  Kind of a dive, but in nice weather take it out back in their huge beer garden littered with picnic tables.  They have a full kitchen and barbecue (the burgers are off the hook).  Not for the meek or faint of heart.  Lots of bike messengers, bikers, and assorted characters.  Best Bloody Mary’s anywhere.

Lucky 13 [no website of their own] – Bar – Castro/Upper Market – Very good selection of beers on tap.  Strong drinks, loud music, badass rocker chick bartenders.  Outdoor patio in back.  A similar vibe to Zeitgeist.

Rogue – Bar/Restaurant – North Beach – An outdoor beer garden out back, perfect for relaxing in on nice days.  Food can be uneven, but delicious Rogue beers on draft and guest handles too.  A comfortable neighborhood joint with friendly bartenders and staff, in the heart of North Beach.

La Trappe – Bar/Restaurant – North Beach – A very cool Belgian bistro and restaurant.  The food is great, the beer selection is mind-boggling.  Has a very awesome grotto-like “cave” downstairs in the basement, great for hanging out with lots of people.  Michael (the co-owner) is a true beer nerd and very friendly.

Beach Chalet – Brewery/Restaurant – Outer Richmond/Golden Gate Park – on the Great Highway and across from Ocean Beach.  Very scenic.  A nice place to take the parental units or entertain out of towners.  Good brunch on the weekends.

Trips Out Of The City (And Not Necessarily Breweries)

St. George Distillery – Spirits/Tour – Alameda – Take the ferry across the bay and it’s a pleasant half-mile walk from the dock.  They have an amazing operation here, and there is a tasting room, so have a designated driver if you decide to drive.  They make several iterations of Hangar One Vodka (the Kaffir Lime is to die for), St. George Single Malt, Absinthe, and tequila (but they can’t call it that).  This distillery was featured on Tony Bourdain’s No Reservations show, the one where they tasted Fois Gras vodka (“fois-dka”), which is not available at the distillery, or anywhere, and probably for good reason.

Lagunitas Brewery – Brewery/Tours/Food – Petaluma (Marin County) – These guys like the hops (heh), and they even have a censored beer (The Kronik Censored Rich Copper Ale).  Tours available if you call. “TapRoom and Beer Sanctuary” on site.  Worth the trip out of the city.  Beers of note: Lagunitas IPA, Hop Stoopid (22 oz), IPA Maximus, Lagunitas Brown Shugga’.

 

Top photo Flickr.

Crass Classic – Life Lessons: Divorce in Movies Didn’t Prepare Me for Divorce in Real Life

In the early days, Crasstalk was a backwater with few visits but so many great things to share.  To help bring some of those early posts to light we present Crasstalk Classic.  Our latest classic post goes all the way back to November 2010 when NoDebutante shared how life doesn’t always work out like the movies.

I might have mentioned once or twice that I’m going through a divorce.  As of today, I am officially divorced.  Given my family’s track record of marriages for life, this is a status I never thought I’d achieve.  In fact, as a child, I learned most everything I knew about divorce from the film Irreconcilable Differences.  I was only slightly older than Casey, the child played by Drew Barrymore, and didn’t give much thought to the story beyond halfheartedly wishing we had a Mexican housekeeper with whom I could live when I didn’t like my parents anymore.  This didn’t come to pass.

I have to say, though, that my divorce didn’t quite pan out the way I thought it would, given all the cinematic depictions of marital strife and divorce I’ve seen through the years.  Here, for you, is the difference between how I thought it would go and how it really went down.

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Crasstalk Classic: How to Survive a Hangover

Good morning/afternoon. Last night we revisited the most awesome post in Crasstalk history. I suspect many of you played along with the home version of The Crasstalk Drinking Game (patent pending,) so we are giving you the next logical step in Classic Crasstalk. This is the key to your overindulgent salvation. Follow it step by step and you will win at alcohol abuse. Enjoy.

 

Well, it is that time of year again. Even those of us who don’t regularly indulge usually toss a couple back, and for those of us who do it can often end like this:

No matter how good our intentions, New Year’s Eve is an invitation to taunt the liquor gods, and that means paying the price the next day. In the spirit of kindness, I am posting my time honored method of easing the hangover pain so that the first day of your new year won’t be utterly painful.

I know that there are many so called “natural” and vitamin remedies that are supposed to help a hangover, but they are all bullshit. Hippies don’t know shit about drinking, put down the crystal and let a professional help you.

For this method you will need the following:

36 oz. of water

2 anti-inflammatory tablets of your choice (I like Alleve).

2 pieces of bread

2 grams of decent weed

One comfy pillow and blanket

A cable TV hookup or a Netflix account

Phone number to a good pizza place or really good leftovers that are easy to reheat

2 cans of Coca-Cola (absolutely no substitutions on this)

The Night Before

It goes without saying that you can avoid this by not drinking excessively in the first place, but that is for little  girls and  it is a long time until the MLK weekend, so fuck it. I can also tell you to stick to one type of liquor, but you inevitably will mix bourbon with champagne and will end up doing a shot of absinthe that someone brought back from a holiday in Europe. Again, fuck it. You should drink some water before you go to bed, but if given the chance to get some nasty from whomever you wind up with, skip the water and go for the sweet loving. Rest easy knowing that you will survive the consequences of your foolish behavior. Again …

The Day of Battle

Step #1: Try not to sleep more than a couple hours later than your usually waking time because that makes your body confused and you’ve already pissed it off enough. If you are sleep deprived you can nap later.

Step #2: Shower, or at least wash your face. You smell awful.

Step #3: Drink one of the Cokes. It should be ice cold. Drink it slow.

Step #4: After 15 minutes, toast the bread and eat it (use butter if your stomach isn’t too upset). Drink 12 oz. of water with it.

Step #5: Wait about 20 minutes. Smoke some weed. If you smoke cigarettes you should have one at this point. I know, I know, you are going to quit, but today is not the day. Leave that shit for next week.

Step #6: Now is the time to take a tylenol or whatever. Your stomach will appreciate that you waited.

Step #7: Watch a couple of hours of TV while snuggled in your blankey on the couch. I recommend Law and Order, Futurama, the Twilight Zone, or Star Trek. All of these will probably be on marathons tomorrow or you can get them on Netflix. Avoid porn, horror movies (this is not the time to finally see Hostel), anything really sad (alcohol is a depressant). If you must watch sports you are going to have to choke down a couple of cans of mid-priced domestic beer to make watching your favorite team blow another great season palatable.

Step #8: Take a nice nap. Try to keep it under an hour so you won’t fuck up your sleep schedule and turn into a vampire.

Step #9: Take the second anti-inflammatory with 12 more oz. of water. Return to the couch for more movies (maybe there is something good on Lifetime).

Step #10: Drink the last Coke and smoke some more weed. At this point you should be ok to eat some real food. Try cheese pizza, chicken soup, or pasta with a red sauce. Avoid carbonara, salad, Indian food, anything too spicy. Don’t make your stomach even angrier.

Step #11: Return to the couch and slowly drink 12 more oz. of water. See what Benson and Stabler are up to. Check in on CT and make fun of everyone else for a having a hangover.

Step #12: By this point you should be able to go on with your day, but if you can stay on the couch do it. Avoid phone calls from family, annoying internet arguments, or anything else unpleasant. This is the first day of the New Year, you have 364 more days to be irritated.

Step #13: Profit! You win at drinking. Now don’t do that again!!!

Have a wonderful New Year!