Welcome to another installment of the Biz and Blerg Blove Blog. In this installment, we’ll be discussing this we don’t understand about the opposite gender.
Blerg: I started an email to you yesterday with the subject line called “Things I don’t understand”, but it was really just one thing. I’m up to discuss whatever.
Biz: Actually, I like that idea. Let’s roll with it.
I’ll come up with things I don’t understand about women, and you can do the same for men.
Blerg: 1. We already talked about ghosting. I still don’t understand it. This is sort of related as I was chatting with someone on Tinder yesterday and I mentioned that I was at the pool. He asked if I had any pictures and I asked him if he had Snapchat. Did I hear from him after that? Nope. How are you going to ask for a picture and then stop answering? Huh?
2. The fade out, which is basically another form of ghosting. I think this one is worse. (Mostly because it’s happening to me right now.) Like, I know you a little bit and we have a habit of communicating. JUST TELL ME YOU’RE NO LONGER INTERESTED. Jesus, I am such a sucker.
3. Answering texts, but not phone calls (my friend’s BF did this to her the other night).
4. Fascination with the last time I hooked up with somebody. What is that? I don’t want to know the last time you were with someone.
5. Leading me on. Ok- I know girls can be guilty of this, too, but it still irritating. Say what you mean, not what you think I want to hear.
Ok, what your list?
Biz: Ghosting remains the worst, but that’s not what your Tinder match was looking for. He was fishing for a picture of you in your swimsuit. How do I know this? Because even the best guys have a scummy streak.
The fade-out is ghosting’s less interesting cousin. It’s like you know the relationship isn’t going anywhere, but you don’t want to be a complete asshole and ghost, so you’re going to just fade out and hope the other person catches on. Same result, just played out over a longer period of time.
I personally hate talking on the phone, and only do so when absolutely required. Also, there’s etiquette to consider when you’re in an elevator or on public transit or something like that. So, this one I actually get.
I have done the “Who was the last person you were with?” line of questioning. The rationale behind it is that you want to know what they did to either emulate or avoid. It never turns out well, but talking about the worst dates you’ve been on is both fun and educational.
I’m sure that guys leading women on happens, but it hasn’t happened to me, so I can’t say much here.
Now for my pet peeves:
1. Insistence on immediate chemistry. When you meet someone the media has conditioned us to think that there are supposed to be fireworks, a choir of angels, and all sorts of other Hollywood magic if you’ve got “chemistry”. The truth is that real chemistry comes from getting to know someone over time, but we have a tendency to call it quits after one 50/50 date. When you give that 50/50 person a second chance, they could surprise you or disappoint you, but that’s how it’s supposed to be.
2. The Friend Zone. At this point, I’m thinking of writing DC and Marvel and suggesting that they start sending supervillains to the Friend Zone instead of the Phantom Zone or Negative Zone, because both of those are easier to escape. Once you’re in the Friend Zone, you’re there forever. It’s like being mentally neutered. You still have balls, but you’re never going to get to use them.
3. Dating shitty guys. I’ve watched a lot of my friends date guys that were obviously shitty. Like, they were warned these guys were shitty, they had some obvious shitty qualities, and yet they dated them anyway. Not only that, but after these guys revealed themselves in all their shittiness, they still kept dating them! And, on more than one occasion, they went back to them at some point after they broke up/dumped the shitty guy. It’s inexplicable.
4. Negative indecisiveness when it comes to food. I am a human garbage disposal; I will eat anything. If I ask you what you’re in the mood for, it’s because I either don’t want to decide or you’re a pickier eater than I am. What gets me is when a woman I’m seeing doesn’t want to make a decision, but shoots down every idea I have. You’re obviously in the mood for something, just tell me so I know what to look for.
Join us next time for another edition of the Blerg and Biz Blove Blog.
