In this edition of “I saw it so you don’t have to” I saw The Other Woman this weekend. This movie was touted as the best female comedy since Bridesmaids. I haven’t been to many movies recently, but when a trainer at my gym asked people if anyone was interested in seeing this this weekend, I said sure, why not? I need more social outings with more than just my regular group of friends and I like Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann. I started to read the Grantland review on Friday, but had to stop because things didn’t look good.
In the opening montage we see Carly Whitten (Diaz) about to hook up with a hot man, Mark King (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). “Hang on a minute,” she tells him when she breaks from the action. He says they can talk, but she said the only thing that was stopping her was that her necklace was caught on her dress. Then we see them hang out, have dinner, drinks, in bed – you know basically they are the happiest new couple ever.
Then we see Mark wake up in bed with another woman. His wife (Mann), Kate! And she’s kinda naggy and talks a lot, but she stays in the suburbs of Connecticut, which allows him to play in the city. But of course, something comes up that requires Mark to return home off schedule lest his wife come into the city where she’s not allowed. He picks up Carly and he has to beg out of some upcoming plans to meet her dad because of “plumbing issues” at his house in Connecticut. She gets pissed (huh?) and gets out of the car.
When she meets her dad for drinks, they discuss his fifth failed marriage and her relationship with Mark. Dad advises Carly to go see her man. Of course she shows up in a sexy plumber outfit (sexy plumber? oxymoron?) only to be greeted at the door by Mark’s wife. An awkward exit and Carly is done with Mark.
But then Kate shows up at Carly’s office where she makes a scene until Carly agrees to tell Kate everything. They go to a bar and Kate get so drunk she vomits in her purse and then Carly sends her on her way, done with the King family. Until Kate shows up at her door, forcing Carly to be her friend. Carly says no, but of course they bond over some Boston Market take out and lots of alcohol. (Seriously, the woman is in New York City and the best take out she can get is from Boston fucking Market? I call shenanigans.) An impossible friendship is formed!
Of course, Carly is not the only one Mark is seeing. He’s also got big-boobed beauty Amber (of course that’s her name) played by Kate Upton on the side. This man cannot be contained by just two women. Another impossible friendship is formed! The three vow to get Mark back for all his two- and three-timing.
Instead of just calling him out on his shit, just divorcing and breaking up with him, the women perform hijinks. Laxative in his drinks so he shits his pants, estrogen so he gets giant sensitive nipples and maybe something else I’ve blocked out of my mind.
The ladies eventually bust him on the cheating and some bad business dealings and Mark throws a fit. An actual fit that would rival that of a toddler who is fighting nap time. The only laughs I had in this movie were due to that physical comedy.
On the real, this movie was terrible. The sound was terrible (something I pay a little more attention to since that’s what I deal with at work) and the editing was questionable. As I said earlier, I like Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann, but Kate Upton is only good for Boobs (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Nicki Minaj played Diaz’s secretary and I just find her so incredibly distracting. I had to look up who wrote this movie, because surely it was a man, but nope, it was a woman. Melissa Stack should be ashamed of herself for writing such drivel. I don’t know who can relate to this in real life.
As I advised OneryBabe in Sunday’s Open Thread: One day about 8 months from now you’ll be cleaning the house or doing some other mindless chore for which you’ll want some background noise, you’ll flip on Netflix and find this streaming. It would be ok for that.
Don’t spend your money on this one, folks.
Image via Wikipedia.
