Actor Jonathan Pryce Named New Pope

Pope Francis I In a surprise move, the Catholic Church’s Cabal of Choosing has chosen British character actor Jonathan Pryce as the new Pope. Pryce chose the papal name “Francis,” as a tribute to his two entertainment-business idols: Francis the talking mule from the popular movie series, and obscure twentieth-century saloon singer Francis Albert Sinatra.

"Francis the talking mule was an inspiration to millions," the new pope cried.
“Francis the talking mule was an inspiration to millions,” the new pope cried.

Pryce is best known for his roles as Sam in Brazil and Lord Douchington in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pontiff. “Francis the talking mule is the greatest talking animal in the history of the cinema,” the ebullient new pope enthused from his new office at Babe director Chris Noonan could not be reached for comment.

Pryce replaces outgoing pope Benedict XXXIV, known affectionately to the faithful as “Ratso.” Ratso is retiring to pursue solo projects. Ratso, like Pryce, is no stranger to show business. His semi-autobiographical novel Midnight Cowboy, about his time as a New York street hustler, was made into a heart-warming family film in 1970. Ratso himself was played by Dustin Hoffman. The former pope is reportedly working on a sequel to Midnight Cowboy. Actor/Renaissance man James Franco is said to be in talks to star in Midnight Cowboy 2: The Secret of Ratso’s Gold.

Images: Pope, Francis

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