Since we haven’t Honey Boo Booed ourselves into a coma yet, something called “All My Babies’ Mamas” is reportedly on its way to the Oxygen network. This sounds like a recipe for disaster heretofore unmatched by the television gods who keep the airwaves full of noxious human beings who have developed their own niche of “Agog Viewership.” Yup, if you’ve gone about your daily lives never contemplating some crazy random thing’s potential abhorrent ripeness for television fodder — believe that someone else has.
AMBM will focus on an Atlanta-based hip-hop artist named Carlos “Shawty Lo” Walker and his eleven children by ten different women, the oldest of which is one year younger than his 19-year-old-girlfriend.
From there we really can’t fathom what this show is supposed to be. We gather that short of blending the Atlanta hip hop scene with the Mormon doctrine, which we fully believe will one day be a show called, “Shawty Magic Long johns,” this is the closest we’ll come since it appears “Shawty Lo” and many, if not all, of his “baby mamas” live together in a kind of blended family situation. Oxygen says, “As the household grows, sometimes so does the dysfunction, leaving the man of the house to split his affection multiple ways while trying to create order. Will there be a conflict over a family holiday, who needs school supplies and who holds the household finance purse strings, or can these feisty babies’ mamas band together and live peacefully as one family unit?”
Um-hm.
Not surprisingly there have been calls for boycotts citing that the depictions are degrading while also hoping to “profit off the humiliation of girls and women and the blatant stereotyping of African-Americans.”
While it will surely depict images that not everyone will like, and will most definitely degrade most if not everyone involved in the show, so do a myriad other reality shows that have aired, past and present. Sheesh. We don’t have to look too far back into the reality show annals to find Flavor of Love or Jon and Kate Plus Eight, do we? Nope. If there were no Honey Boo Boo, there would be a different show about a hillbilly princess and her family of elephant trolls named Hopscotch Bric-a-Brac or Dolittle Dingleberries, or Bitsybrain Fluffernoodle, right?
The one thing all these shows have in common are the people who will agree to film them for the sake of a little television exposure — and any corresponding cash that comes with it — whether or not it’s exploitive.
The leader of the Change.org petition, author Sabrina Lamb says:
“As dysfunctional and violent as so-called reality shows are, could you ever imagine a one hour spectacle where 11 children are forced to witness their 10 unwed mothers clamor for financial support, emotional attention and sexual reward from Shawty-Lo, the apathetic ‘father?'”
And to Sabrina we’d like to say…yup. Also, let’s just count ourselves lucky it isn’t also a reality game show where there are roses given for being the (best?) (least crazy?) (most dependent?) person at the end of each episode.
I think we mostly know the answer to what some people will do to be on TV and be rewarded handsomely for it (THIS!). And if you don’t have a gimmick, a family dynamic, or a ridiculous sub-culture that’s good enough for ratings, well, then you’re just a regular nobody. And why be a regular nobody when you could stand to make millions just by showing the world the kind of wholly insane dysfunction that is your life?
For their part, Oxygen Media has responded to the outrage thusly:
“All My Babies’ Mamas isn’t meant to stereotype anyone. Oxygen’s Media diverse team wants to present the show as a unique family and their complicated life.
“This bold new series shows every second of the drama-filled lives surrounding a unique ‘modern’ family unit, as they navigate their financially and emotionally connected lives,” said a recent news release.
Senior Vice President of Development at Oxygen Media said, “‘All My Babies’ Mamas’ will be filled with outrageous and authentic over-the-top moments that our young, diverse female audience can tweet and gossip about.”
Well, that’s a no-brainer. This is a show made for and built around Twitter and the second-to-second live-tweeting trend that has become a mainstay — and we assume a “must have” — in the world of television. Every TV exec is searching for that wonderfully fantastic hashtag (#babymamadrammmaazzzz #haterzhatethegamenotshawtylo) while their show is on the air. Gotcha. Viral marketing at its best and most modern. Still. That doesn’t mean that Oxygen isn’t pretty damn scummy to do it.
