Rush Limbaugh is a batshit fanboy; an indie fave to maybe star in a good film finally; Veronica Mars plays young adult; the CMT network has a bunker; Tom Hanks makes a joke about the future with things from the past; and Harry Potter needs a girlfriend, not a girl friend.
Rush Limbaugh, stupid, porcine, shout-turd in a jowl suit, has decided that Warner Bros’ The Dark Knight Rises named the villain, Bane, after Mitt Romney’s “retroactively retired with bullshit,” company, Bain Capital. The conspiracies. They are everywhere. He thinks the American people, well, the ones with toes growing out their eyebrows and other intelligence questioning genetic mutations, will hear the word “Bane” and think, “Good God Yes! Bain Capital was run by a lying, robotic, ass-wagon who will be the warst president evar! I never made that connection before!” Sure, yes. This is the master plan, Limbaugh, you asinine collapsed artery. Warner Bros. is a political mastermind, and Rush Limbaugh isn’t anywhere nearly close to sane. Anyway, his entire rant-o-ridiculous can be read on Deadline. [Deadline]
Remember Juliette Lewis, the 1990’s wild child from Cape Fear, who never, truly got her due? Like literally, Kristen Stewart, you think you started the angsty teen shrugging thing? Heh, no. Juliette had it in spades. So after a few years doing bit parts playing a roller derby girl in Whip It, and a pot dealer in Due Date, she’s circling Karen, the self-deluding youngest daughter in the film version of August: Osage County which has already tapped, Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts. Very, very good move, Juliette! We’re happy to see the role go to someone with bite, instead of Anne Hathaway or Blake Lively, or someone equally uninteresting. [Deadline]
Kristen Bell, Veronica Mars, to everyone else in the world, will take time from being a raunchy closer on Showtime’s House Of Lies to star in The Lifeguard, which is about a woman who returns to her hometown to become a, er, lifeguard. There’s no telling if this is a drama or a comedy. We’re hoping drama. You know one of those sad little things like Charlize Theron’s turn in Young Adult, but we’re thinking it may be more power fluff with some Baywatchian themes. If we hear Josh Duhamel is cast, then we’ll have our answer. [Deadline]
The CMT network has the scariest sounding shows I’ve ever heard. This may make them awesome, or like something you’ll need a bunker for. Two new series will join their roster this fall, with two others to bow in 2013. Premiering in September is Redneck Intervention where each week a former redneck is confronted by friends and family members that believe he or she should return to their country roots. A Redneck kidnapping if you will. Later to follow is Chainsaw Gang, a reality series, where a rag-tag bunch of the country’s premiere chainsaw artists battle until blades break and chainsaws burst into flames while agitating each other as they manage to deliver incredible works of art. So what we have so far is Rednecks armed with chainsaws. Okey Doke. Next year the network will roll out Full Metal Racket which follows three generations of the Sumner family who run Knob Creek Gun Range, their family owned business in Knob Creek, Kentucky. And finally, Rock Raiders featuring collectors Robert Reynolds and Stephen Shutts who travel across the U.S. in search of music history’s most-treasured finds, scouring local flea markets and garage sales to discover personal – and sometimes valuable – music memorabilia. I’m not picturing chainsaws, guns, and Elvis. I’m not. I’m totally not. Okay. I am. [Deadline]
Did you know Tom Hanks has a web series? Ok. Tom Hanks has a web series. It’s called Electric City, and it’s animated. It’s also being billed as a post-post apocalyptic tale where all the things we took for granted — like, say, the Internet — don’t exist anymore and electricity is the new God. Er, okay, Tom. We won’t say that this sounds like, “Old Man Can’t Work the Dial-up.” No, we won’t say this at all. There’s also something about “noir” and “Westerns,” which sounds all kooky and quaint. However, it isn’t off to a stellar start. The Hollywood Reporter says that’s because the writing is poor. Ouch. And since it’s all webby, it’s too short. (It’s also a web series about not having The Web, which sounds so very extra meta.) So, not good, Tom. Not good. Maybe we should start thinking about a Money Pit: 2 sequel, eh? [THR]
Harry Potter is again asked to just get coffee, never for a nightcap. Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan will team up as friends without benefits in something called The F Word. It’s about a girl with a boyfriend who has a friend played by Radcliffe. So, yearrh, he’s stuck in the friend zone. Which is just plain bollocks! He has like facial hair and everything now! The script has been around since 2007. That’s like forever in industry years. Hard to know if this will do well since we’ve already seen Timberlake and Kunis try this out, as well as Portman and Kutcher awkwardly do some sort of similar thing. Who knows? Maybe Radcliffe is sexy, Mr. Sexington and he’ll get the girl after all. Or he’ll pull out a magic wand and make her boyfriend come down with an acute case of crotch-rot. Muggles. [Vulture]
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