Apparently Suing Your Co-op Board for Takeout Losses is a Thing Now

Maybe we can file this under “Only in Manhattan” or “Things only the insanely rich will think of?” At any rate, Beverly Taki and her husband, Louis Maione of Park Avenue feel they should be reimbursed by their co-op board for $27,000 worth of takeout meals. And I’d like my co-op board to pay me in diamond stud earrings for every grass clipping that lands on my welcome mat. Yes, thank you.

The New York Post reports that in October of 2010 an amorphous gas problem left the couple unable to use their commercial-size, six-burner double oven for nearly 10 months. Despite paying $5,700 in monthly maintenance fees, the couple claims that nothing was done to fix the problem and they are now suing the management company and the co-op board in Manhattan Supreme Court for the $27,000 they shelled out — not just for meals for themselves but also for their guests.

They claim that they were unable to entertain properly and had to take guests to restaurants. Those dinner dates plus their own need for takeout racked up a bill of about $2,700 a month. That breaks down into something like $90 a day for meals! We’re guessing this doesn’t lend itself to chicken fajitas down at the Applebees, eh? No, probably something like rare quail eggs flown in from Dubai and cooked in melted gold. No? Okay, okay, how about rubies fried on the engine of a Ferrari and wrapped in $1,000 dollar bills?

“They just seemed to disregard everybody,” Maione told The Post. “We cooked all the time. We had people over for dinner all the time.”

Like some regular hobos, the couple was reduced to using a hot plate on days they didn’t eat out and had to forgo some monthly dinner parties and holiday gatherings due to the inconvenience. What?! Not throw dinner parties or host holiday gatherings because they would have to cook their annual fish dinner with lobster sauce on a hobo hot plate! The humanity! The shame! “Egads! What ever will we tell Randolph and Mortimer Duke?”

It’s not known what caused the gas to be shut off (did anyone check to see if they paid the bill?), since there was no complaint of a leak, but when the couple tried to get the management company and the co-op board to give them an electric oven in the meantime they were turned down.

Due to the frustration of not being able to live life as comfortably as possible or something else silly like that, the couple sold their condo last year for $4.4 million, but didn’t take the stove with them since the behemoth didn’t fit in their new, $12,400-a-month rental on Central Park South. HA! They didn’t take the stove with them, because why would they? Who uses a stove anymore? Their little experience roughing it in the wilds of Park Avenue taught them a valuable lesson. Never cook again if you can get a settlement from a co-op board, and in no way should they have spent whole gobs less than $27,000 on an electric stove instead of on takeout food during the unfortunate, unexplained, 10 month gas outage of 2010, or instead of whining about entertaining guests try to maybe find out why the gas was shut off. No, no. That would’ve been a waste of time and money. It’s better to spend the cost of a car on takeout, or throw that money right into the toilet. Six of one.

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