Greetings and salutations! As some of you know, I am Woman. ROAR! As people who know me know, I am a non-stereotypical woman. For the Crasstalk Day Of Woman I decided to make a list of some things which I think help women be better women. This list is but a small part of the continual refinement which is every human’s job. Brave capable sisters, know that I have only your best interests at heart, and gather round:
Be Aware Of Yourself.
We must learn our limitations. So we can see which ones we can eliminate. So we can see which ones aren’t applicable anymore. So we can see which ones are useful now but may not be in future. We must move through life breaking limits as we grow, and helping others break theirs. We must be honest with ourselves, so we can truly love ourselves, which enables us to truly love someone else. No one knows you better than you know you, so be good to yourself, but be honest. It’s like a cold pool or a hot bath; you can inch in or jump in. Either way, c’mon in, the water’s fine!
Be Aware Of Others.
We know others exist, they are in our lives and sometimes in our way every day. We must be aware of their limitations, and not judge them too harshly, for judgement takes energy that can be better spent becoming aware of how others work. Do they like coffee in the morning, are they allergic to anything, are they prone to yelling when they don’t get their way? We must be able to see others clearly so we can use them well, and help them to use themselves well, regardless how difficult they may be, knowing that at some times, we are all difficult. Aren’t we??? Yes, we are.
Be Good To Your Lovers.
Whether they be lifelong or fifteen minutes in the club bathroom, take a note from Dan Savage and be GGG (Good, Giving, and Game). Be open and honest with your partner and let them be open and honest with you without fear of judgement. If you laugh in their face when they reveal their virginity/diaper fetish, you will not get any sexytimes, unless they also have a laughter fetish, in which case laugh harder. Have moments of intimate selflessness and indulge your partners fully. Offer yourself up fully. Engage them fully. And safely. With all the STD protection available today, avail yourself of it, have it on hand, be comfortable with it.
Be Merciless In Your Intel Intake.
We must open ourselves to receive information from any source. It doesn’t matter who said it; if it works for you, then work it. We must not let judgement and reactionary feelings prevent us from gathering information. We can learn form everything, even advice columnists who are somewhat anti-woman. Be open to hear almost anything (military kill frequencies and raccoons mating excepted). Be on the lookout, and the listenout, for information that may be helpful to you and your current situation. If someone’s talking 95% sh*t, then you’ve got 5% useful info. Be unconcerned with their 95% sh*t, you can use that 5%, to grow, or to change, or maybe even to flip it back and change their 95% to, say, 50%, which is a good start.
Be Mindful In Your Measurements.
We must be wary of our needs. We must manage them carefully. A full life includes a smart balance of many different things, and we must be wise in our measurements to include everything we know we need and some space for things we don’t know we need yet. All tequila and no food makes for an unhappy tummy; all work and no play makes for an early death. We must work smart and play hard. We must check our metaphysical purse/pantry/toolbox/headbag often for low stores or overflows, and adjust accordingly. Emotional upkeep is akin to nutritional upkeep; be sure to add some melancholia and don’t forget to celebrate fully.
Be A Gentleperson.
As women, we are beholden to take up the mantle of Gentleperson and be more gentle in all our relationships. We must be more aware and have more empathy. We must understand that helping people weaker than ourselves makes us strong. Gallantry knows no sex. Every day offers us an opportunity to reach out and help someone. We can help someone cross the street, we can help someone see a different viewpoint, we can help someone change their whole day by looking them in the eye and meaning it when we say “Hello” as we pass them on the sidewalk. Everyone needs kindness. They may not know they want it, but it’s good for them.
Be A Good Role Model.
We must be good role models for others, especially other women, especially any woman younger than we. We must be good role models to other women by being as good as we can be, by not conforming to the culture of hate that many women participate in, by being open to the capabilities and possibilities of other women. We must be good role models to younger women by knowing when to give ourselves breaks, that it’s okay to rest, that when you have energy you give it and when you don’t you can get help. We must be good role models to our partners by playing fearlessly fair. We must be good role models to everyone by holding our heads high and standing tall and keepin’ on keepin’ on. We must step carefully, Sisters, knowing that while we are surrounded by f*ckos of all sexes committing f*ckery of all kinds, we strive daily to be more than that: a Better Woman.
