The following is from our very own LimeCat, Didactics Tactics, who is currently traveling but still had something to say to The Ladies.
Dear Women-peoples,
I’d like to apologize on behalf of a large majority of the living, mouth-breathing species for which I am a card-carrying member.
Just how is it exactly, that you put up with us?
We seldom listen and remember. We ogle other women, in your presence, as if it is our right. We wouldn’t prepare meals or wash our clothes without your urgence.
We constantly try to wrangle our way out of social gatherings you’ve arranged.
We lament to our agreeably-nodding compatriots of your constant demands on our so-called free time.
We scratch and belch in your company, with ham-fisted impunity.
We regularly forget important calendar dates.
We leave the toilet seat up…To name but a few transgressions.
And yet, you still give us chance after chance after chance.
Perhaps it’s due to some incalculable, innate need that we knuckle-dragging, troglodytes can’t even fathom, to keep this planet populated – a bigger picture, if you will.
Sure, other than the obvious, odd reproductive organ or two, we share the same make up. But, ho boy – the similarities cease there.
The truth is, in spite of our numerous short-comings – I’d like to think that most of us do appreciate and welcome your company. I know I do.
To me, there is no more beautiful creature on this orb than the female form.
I absolutely get mush-mouthed, at the sight of a perfectly coiffed, sartorially resplendent female, charging forth with her high-fallutin business day. I get addle-brained and a case of the tingles, witnessing a naturally beautiful, “un made-up” soccer mom, simply wearing jeans, sweatshirt and a baseball cap, while shopping for the family groceries.
I adore women in all shapes and forms (well, truth be told, the bone-showing Kate Moss types are not my fav). I don’t care if you are bedazzled, bejeweled or bespectacled – you all certainly beguile.
I’d like to think I speak for the 93% and not just for the 7%, when I say you are all supremely beautiful in your own tantalizing way. And we are better mouth-breathers for having you in our lives.
Enjoy your Womanly day. You deserve it.