I got mad media moguls, batshit politicians, snakeheads, crazed salads, cartoon characters rocking you like a hurricane, and my idol J. Jonah Jameson, who is actually not that far off from how I act when I’m on the anchor desk.
Good morning, sunshines.
- Rupert is very, very, very sad, but all this shit isn’t his fault, you see.
- Here’s the formula in DC, no matter who is power, and no matter what the issue may be:
A: argue in a ferocious manner!
B: say, OMG, there’s a deadline!
C: freak out over deadline and say America will be crushed!
D: say we will never agree and America will die!
E: say oh, maybe we will have an agreement just in time
for said deadline!
F: We have an agreement! Whooooo! Ain’t we great?
- You know, my argument for chicks getting birth control coverage has long been if the boys get Viagra, we get BC. So, fuck yeah. I am not your vessel.
- I fail to understand why nonprofits do this when they are almost always caught. People love these stories. Love them! So we will do them. You fools. Over and over again. Team news!
- Migraines!
- No wonder I’m a fatass.
- Hmmmmm. Snakeheads.
- Dora the…KILLER!
