Watch the first Kalbi Burger Challenge and listen to me read the rules.
On Sunday, July 24th, I was drafted to be the host of the first annual Kalbi Burger Challenge. Six competitors at my favorite Koreatown burger place were going to try to eat 4 Kalbi burgers in ten minutes for glory and the potential to be in a plaque on a wall. Since I was the Foursquare mayor of this fine establishment (seriously guys, I love food) I was asked to be the emcee and judge.
I have never hosted an eating competition before so in case you ever have to do this, here are some handy things to keep in mind.
- Have a megaphone. This is great because it enables you to heckle (or flirt with) all of the contestants, make random announcements, say hi to people and watch them jump five feet in the air, and basically be an awesome loud bitch, but AMPLIFIED. Seriously, this was amazing. I turned it up to 11.
- Spend time assembling barf bags. Even if you don’t have to use them, you’ll be glad you have them when you help clean up all the disgusting half-eaten bits of hamburger and garbage that is floating around outside.
- Have a strong stomach. Seriously, watching six people nomming on a burger, nomming on four burgers, and trying to keep to a ten minute time limit, really tests the limits of your ability to not vomit. With the exception of the one female competitor who was extremely polite and liberal with napkin usage, these people were attacking their burgers.
- Have some rules. Read them beforehand. There is no whining in eating competitions and the way to ensure that is by having some established rules. The megaphone helps here, too.
- Don’t think about caloric intake today.
- Invite all of your friends so they can all heckle you while you heckle the competitors. They will also be amazed at how you say yes to doing strange things and will greatly admire your vim and vigor.
- Try not to be hungover, because there will be press and bloggers and they will take your picture and you will forever be memorialized with sweaty hair and dark circles under your eyes on the third page of a major Korean newspaper.
- No, but seriously, remember to flirt with the attractive contestants. They are stuck there for ten minutes and it gives you a chance to practice your game, and some of them are cute.
- Wear comfortable shoes because you will be moving tables. And chairs. And other tables. And other chairs. A lot.
- Have some creative games or random free swag to give out so people don’t get bored when they show up an hour before the event actually starts. Or you could just do what I did and entertain everyone with your creative wit and jokes with the megaphone. I also had (forced) every contestant introduce themselves and explain why the audience should cheer for them. Basically, you need a time-killer, because set up takes forever and the pay-off is ten minutes watching people be disgusting with food, and you don’t want your beleaguered audience to revolt.
Photo: The six competitive eaters, including the winner by @chingiscool http://chingyuwong.com/
