We’re going to try something that’s never been done before. This is like climbing the Mt. Everest of blogging. We’re risking extreme carpal tunnel syndrome, debilitating LOLspeak and possibly even breaking the internet.
I’m calling it a micromusiclivebloggasm and you are the first ones in history to witness it. Does that perk up your nipples or what?
OK, so I’m not sure micromusiclivebloggasm is really a word, or if it even should be, but I’m going to liveblog from start to finish every significant moment of the song “Miss You” by Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes. This could totally blow up in my face or it could be the greatest thing since… I dunno, the latest Obama lolcat macro.
First, a little background. “I Miss You” was recorded by Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes and released on Philadelphia International Records in 1972. You probably think it’s sung by Harold Melvin, but THAT WOULD BE WRONG YOU FOOLISH, FOOLISH PERSON. Actually, the lead singer on this song is some guy named Teddy Pendergrass (who died last year, actually). The song is eight and a half minutes long, it was produced by the legendary duo of Gamble and Huff, it was a huge hit at the time and it’s the greatest popular song ever produced.
So here’s how this works. You play the audio track below and then follow along as I micromusiclivebloggasm the ever-loving shit out of shit.
:01 – It starts out with a simple little xylophone melody. (In a major scale? I don’t know, I’m just a music fan, not a musician. Ask one of those freaky people who majored in like viola in college. Usually they can be found working at Starbucks.) This is very gentle and happy and sunny. Nothing bad could ever happen in this world.
:14 – Lloyd Parks’s falsetto comes in, softly at first, then to forefront. Hmmm, he sounds kind of plaintive. Maybe this isn’t a happy song.
:25 – Well that was quick. Teddy comes in and runs up and down a few octaves already. He wastes no time.
:50 – Teddy starts really belting out lines now, and his backup singers are literally finishing his sentences. How do they know what Teddy is thinking thinking thinking thinking? Also, Teddy’s voice is the second greatest thing Philadelphia America has ever produced, after Scrapple.
1:16 – The tempo picks up and the backup singers dig in a little deeper. There are now strings being arranged and whatnot.
1:23 – The bridge arrives. The piano really descends quickly and it feels like we’re being warned. Shit is getting intense.
1:31 – No, we’re gonna slow it back down. The piano is doing that little staccato plinking that lets you know there’s still a fire burning.
1:51 – Teddy admits a “great big man like me” has been crying. When he hits the word “great” though, he bends the ever-loving fuck out of the note and if that shit doesn’t hit you square in the heart, you are probably a psychopath who is going to murder a dozen people.
2:30 – That crazy staccato piano line is back and it sounds looser and lazier than before. The whole song does, actually. The entire band is warmed up and now ready to really get to work.
2:45 – Parks’s background falsetto and Teddy’s baritone are just flying now.
3:00 – Now the music goes into a disco-y section with some seriously over-the-top strings. Teddy then shows off some incredible melisma. Remember, this was decades before American Idol, or Xtina or Mariah. NOBODY was singing like this back then.
3:06 – The band brings it back together and starts the song moving forward again. There are xylophones and a sweet little jazz guitar riff at 3:19 that pops in and then disappears just as quickly back into the ether. This song is so full of little details that you don’t even notice until you’ve played it a million times with headphones on.
3:29 – Teddy starts building the intensity even higher by packing in as many improvised vocal lines as he can into every single bar of music.
3:35 – Whoa. That was close to a musicgasm. But no. The band holds out to live another day. And then who’s that talking at us? That’s Melvin kickin’ it on the phone. We’re listening to him talk on the phone with a stone cold fox who broke his heart while the rest of the band just keeps jamming in the background, falsettos/xylophones/piano and all.
4:13 – The piano breaks rank and starts playing some kind of boogie-woogie blues line that temporarily changes the mood.
4:35 – A short burst of jazz guitar and the tempo picks up yet again. Shit is about to go OFF. Teddy sounds like he’s about to break down completely.
5:03 – The train comes to a stop again and Melvin kicks some “hip talk” at his ex-girl while he tells her he’s gettin steady gigs and working overtime. Good to know the band leader is keepin’ busy.
5:13 – The piano player is just banging out blues chords behind Melvin’s rapping. I think he sounds like he wants to play a solo.
5:31 – It’s not to be, though, because the guitar starts plucking a line of the same note over and over and that’s the sign for everyone to get buck wild once again.
5:45- The guitarist is just killing it. What a great tone. Must be some sort of hollow-body jazz box, right? Any guitar geeks players here who can answer that?
6:00 – Teddy is about to die up there on stage. I’m seriously worried about his cardiac health. He was only 21 when he recorded this song, thank Xenu.
6:45 – Now we’ve brought the song back down again so that Melvin can holler at shorty some more. The piano is going the fuck off right now. Instead of just plodding along like most bands would, Gamble and Huff have the band ROCK OUT in the background. Normally this would turn a song into a clusterfuck but they had the best musicians in the world playing for them so they can just keep the instruments nice and pianissimo to maintain that sweet balance. It has the effect of feeling like there are about 10 different layers to the song, all working at the same time, all without overpowering one another. This is as close as American art will ever get to the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. No, fuck the Sistine Chapel, I’d rather have this song exist.
7:44 – OK, Melvin is still yappin’ away at this girl and the band seems to be telling him “Hey Melvin, stop running up the phone bill, man.”
7:50 – Because suddenly the strings come to the forefront and Teddy comes in and absolutely STOMPS on shit with his vocal chords one last time. This is unreal. Good night.
