Welcome back to a busy leg of The Amazing Race! In what I think may be a race first, instead of lolling about at a resort until the morning, after the teams checked into the pit stop they were sent on an overnight train ride from The Outback to Somewhere With Airplanes. The Nerds (Zev and Justin) were the first to leave the pit stop and learned that they had to fly to Tokyo, Japan. They reminisced about the last time they were in Japan and had to eat fistfuls of wasabi. Otherwise, they were nonplused by their destination. One person that was super duper OMG! holy cow we’re going to Japan! Did you read that? We’re going to Jah-payyyuuun!!!! Whoooo! was the Daughter half of Father/Daughter. Maybe Japan was on her bucket list, or maybe she just really likes sushi and questionable fashion trends. I don’t know. But she was excited.
Eventually the teams all figured out that there were two flights to Japan–a direct flight that got in at 6:15am, and a connecting flight that got in at 6:00am. Now, I’ve watched enough seasons of TAR to know that you do not risk a connection over fifteen minutes. But despite having actually run the race before, some teams did not know this. People, please. If you’re going on a reality television show, do yourself a favor and watch a few seasons beforehand. You can learn lots of great stuff, like never give away an immunity idol, never make a dress that could be worn by the mother of a bride, and never choose a connecting flight over a direct flight to save fifteen minutes. Sheesh!
The Nerds and the Globetrotters were waffling back and forth between the direct flight and the connecting flight, and eventually decided to go for the one that got in earlier. But, waffling takes time, and time is not your friend on TAR. By the time they went to purchase their tickets for the connecting flight, there were only 2 seats left. What would they do? Flip a coin? Rock, Paper, Scissors? Thunderdome? Nope. The Globetrotters let the Nerds have the last two seats because the Nerds had helped them out with a clue earlier. Have I mentioned that I love these guys?
Along with the Nerds, the “Couple,” The Deaf Kid And His Umbilical Cord, Mel and Mike, and the Cheerleaders all opted to take the connecting flight. The bad news is that there were engine troubles with the connecting flight. The good news is, they were on the ground when they found out about the engine troubles. But it did delay their flight, and I hate to say I told you so (that’s not true, I actually love it), but the direct flight landed first.
Once in Japan, the teams had to drive themselves to city of Kamakura and find the Yabusame Dojo. The parking garage was the coolest thing ever! The cars rotated on a giant Wonder Wheel and spit out of a slot like a vending machine. And for an added bonus, the Globetrotters looked like they were driving a little clown car, which may or may not be part of their basketball routine.
All of the teams seemed to get a bit lost, and Old Yeller started doing his yelling thing again. But, berating his daughter paid off because they got to the Roadblock first. Way to reward bad behavior, TAR.
At the Roadblock, one team member had to participate in a Yabusame training exercise. Old Yeller himself chose to do the Roadblock and was dressed as a samurai and given a bow and arrow. I would not have given an angry, short-tempered old man a weapon, but hey, that’s just me. The Sisters Who Peed In China, the Globetrotters, and Father/Daughter arrived shortly afterwards and got suited up and began practicing the routine which involved some sort of bending exercises and shooting an arrow through a piece of plywood while riding a mechanical bull set to “easy peasy lemon squeezy” mode.
The Sister hit the target first, and that pissed off Old Yeller. Next was Justin. Bam! Hit the target. Then the Father. Old Yeller must’ve been steaming at that. The “Couple”, Mel and Mike, and the Deaf Kid And His Umbilical Cord showed up at the Roadblock just as the Globetrotters completed the task. Finally, Old Yeller let out a yelp and hit the target and his daughter cheerfully exclaimed “good job, Daddy!” What a nice family, I think they’re going to really bond over this experience.
Two teams were missing in action–the Cowboys and the Cheerleaders. The Cowboys were very, very, very lost. Their navigational plan was to drive “south.” I’m not sure if they understood that Japan is an island, and too much driving “south” would lead to a very long swim.
In contrast to the Cowboys’ lackadaisical approach, the Cheerleaders rammed right into another car. They hit a side mirror, and the car’s owner called the police. The Cheerleaders broke a mirror. Ha! Throw them in jail for Extreme Irony (and Horribleness)! Although the police did not throw them in jail (they ordered the Cheerleaders to hug the other driver, figuring forcing these women to be nice was the cruelest punishment of all), the incident did slow down their race considerably.
All teams eventually completed the Roadblock and were sent to a railway station to find a statue and their next clue. The Nerds and Father/Daughter got there first. The teams had a choice between two tasks–Prayer of Purity or Frog of Life. In Prayer of Purity, the teams had to complete a cleansing ritual and then stand under a freezing cold waterfall for one minute. In Frog of Life, teams had to strip down, get into a mud pit, and search for a plastic frog while being pelted with mud by boisterous locals. Please choose Frogs of Life, please choose Frogs of Life, please choose Frogs of Life!
They chose Frogs of Life! Whoo hoo! The task looked absolutely awful. Not only were they looking for a small frog in a mud pit while wearing nothing but a diaper, but the locals were serious about pelting them with mud. The Nerds found the frog first and had to drive to the pit stop in Kuriyama, Japan. Father/Daughter were close on their heels, so to speed things up, the Nerds hopped in their car pantsless. I am now performing a purity ritual on my eyeballs.
Speaking of purity rituals, Old Yeller and the Globetrotters were the only teams to choose this task. I hope the ritual cleansed the evil out of Old Yeller, because he was in rare form. The Globetrotters made quick work of the task and completed the task first. While grabbing their backpacks to leave, they accidentally picked up Old Yeller’s fanny pack which contained Ron and Christina’s passports. Whoops! Realizing their mistake, the Globetrotters left the fanny pack in the changing room. This left Old Yeller fuming because he had spent a few minutes berating his daughter for not being more careful. Good work, Globetrotters! You pushed that man one step closer to the edge.
As the Cheerleaders headed to the frog task, the Nerds were running to the mat. For the second week in a row, the Nerds were team number one. Good for you, pantsless boys! Father/Daughter were next, followed by the Globetrotters and Old Yeller. Old Yeller was not happy about the fanny pack situation and complained to Phil, who gave the Globetrotters a 30 minute penalty. Fair enough I suppose, but still, it was a bit of a snitchy thing to do.
Meanwhile, more digging through mud, more frogs and diapers, and the Cheerleaders finally made it to the mud pit. The sun had gone down, and the only other team left was Mel and Mike. Poor Mel was a wreck. Mike had the good senses to take his father to a nearby ambulance to warm up. Unfortunately, getting into an ambulance is never a good strategy for winning TAR.
The Cheerleaders found the frog pretty quickly, which meant Mel and Mike were the last ones left at the task. The Cheerleaders never saw Mel and Mike in the ambulance, so when they got to the mat, they assumed that they were going to be eliminated. When Phil told them that they were team number nine, something horrible happened. One of the Cheerleaders (I don’t know which one, they both look the same, it’s kind of creeping me out) said “shut the front door!” as a substitute for “shut the fuck up!” No. Just no. There is no place for cleaned up churchy-speak on TAR, and I hope that the next time one of them pulls crap like that, the producers bleep it out so that my ears do not have to be offended by their non-potty-mouths.
Mel and Mike didn’t finish the task and were eliminated. That’s too bad, but it was bound to happen eventually, and Mike did say that he didn’t want to kill his father, so mission accomplished. The teams are off to China for the next leg, where it looks like the “Couple” takes a long drive in the wrong direction. Fun!
So what did you think? Did the Globetrotters deserve the penalty? Were you hoping this was a non-elimination leg, or would it have been cruel to force Mel to continue?
