Sometimes, after swearing you will spend the rest of your life with a dog or cat, a situation may arise where you can no longer keep them. In that case, you often face some difficult choices about what to do with your pet. Sit down. Let’s talk about the process.
Think about why you’re giving up your pet.
Obvious, right? Not in my experience. There are truly some times when you cannot keep an animal. If you are going through a breakup and the only place that didn’t laugh after they ran your terrible credit doesn’t allow pets, well, you can live in a Cavalier down by the river or you can do what you have to do. However, there are situations in which you need to pause a second.
Does the guy you’ve been dating for three weeks “hate” cats? Well, the cat is probably going to be around a lot longer than that guy, with your track record being what it is. Is your dog/cat/rabbit/Gila monster/emu doing something you find really
annoying? Harness the power of the Internet and see if there’s a way to fix it before you give it away, including spending time and money training it. Your parents toughed it out with you, didn’t they?
One very important thing to consider: is someone else going to be willing to adopt your pet? If you are giving the dog up because it has severe medical or behavioral problems, it may not be adoptable. If you don’t want to spend five thousand dollars on surgery or get bitten every day, who exactly is going to want to? Yes, there are some of us out there that are willing to take on “special needs” dogs, but not enough. And we all have too many misfit toys anyway and will likely get divorced if we bring any more home.
If you’re confident that you’re making the right decision, then continue on.
Re-homing a dog yourself: Proceed with caution.
Many people feel that they can do the best job of finding their pet a new home. I will tell you this is only the case if you also work at a shelter. Seriously. I’m not under the impression that I could do a better job of designing a website than someone who gets paid to do it. But if you do…
The first thing many people do is post an ad on Craigslist. Fine, but the person that wants your German Shepherd is also a pervert who’s trolling adult services. Never, ever, give your dog away for free. If you want to know what happens to free dogs…listen, you don’t actually want to know. Even in the event that the “adopter” is good-intentioned, if they’re unable to pay a small re-homing fee they may not be prepared for the cost of owning a dog.
If an interested party seems sane, ask questions of them. Do they have pets now? What’s their vet’s name? Can you see their house? Do they wear a lot of Ed Hardy? What’s their favorite old movie? You get the picture. If they’re reticent to give you their information or let you come to their house, they are hiding something. Be honest with them, too. If your dog is destructive or your cat hates kids, it’s your responsibility to find a home that can accommodate these issues.
You can often post ads on purebred rescue or adoption websites, but keep in mind that it can take months to get a response, and interviewing prospective adopters is a job in and of itself. Let’s assume you decide to go another route.
Bringing your dog to a shelter: Do your research and plan ahead.
There are as many different types of shelters as there are breeds of dogs. So if you’re unable to keep your pet, try to find a facility that will give him or her the best chance at finding another great home. Many rescues and shelters have limited space and there may be a waiting list. If you wait to call shelters until the day you leave the country to avoid that “bogus” felony indictment, you may not be able to choose where your pet ends up.
If you have time, visit and ask questions about their policies. Do they euthanize? Under what conditions? Does the facility seem unclean and the staff uncaring or do you see the dogs and cats frolicking with volunteers? Dogs and cats need enrichment when in a shelter environment. Try to find a facility that gives the animals toys and attention, allows adequate space, and doesn’t put animals that aren’t related in the same cages.
Many shelters will keep an animal up for adoption until they find a home, as long as they remain adoptable. So don’t trick yourself into saying that your rabid Chihuahua, referred to as “Jack the Ripper” by everyone in your building, will stay up for adoption if he bites someone, or if he really does have rabies, for that matter. Even “no-kill” shelters will often not put a very sick or aggressive animal up for adoption.
Get everything together.
As the time approaches, make sure that, logistically, you are prepared to bring your animal to the shelter or to its new home. If you are not giving your animal up due to financial reasons, please get your pet up-to-date with all vaccinations and spay or neuter them if they’re intact. This can ensure that they remain healthy in the shelter and they may go up for adoption quicker. In addition, the shelter may ask for a fee at the time of surrender. Again, unless you are financially unable to do this, pay it. They are shouldering the cost of its care indefinitely, and your pet is not a donation.
Write down his or her daily habits, the name of the vet, personality quirks, fears, favorite toys- anything that comes to mind. Many shelters keep this information in the animal’s file and can tell the new owners what Captain Crunch loves to play with.
Also, anything Crunch has, be it litter, toys or scratching posts, can be brought to the shelter. Many will tag the items so they can go with him to the new home. Even if the shelter’s unable to do that, donations are appreciated.
The hard part: Saying goodbye and letting go.
There is no witty or light way to put this: the day you walk away from your pet will be brutal. Get it done early in the day. When you get to the shelter, there will again be some paperwork and they may want to get a brief history on your pet. Just get through it. Again, be honest. Many shelters do a temperament evaluation on animals, so they’ll find out if your dog goes insane when you try to take a bone from it.
A lot of shelter volunteers and staff may seem unsympathetic- unfortunately, this is the byproduct of seeing thousands of animals a year relinquished. If you are giving up your Cockapoo because your four-year-old “promised” she’d housebreak it and take it for walks but didn’t follow through, you deserve every bit of their contempt. Sorry.
Hopefully, though, you aren’t giving up your pet for a reason like that, and you work with someone who is kind and understanding. Know that in most shelters, including those that bill themselves as “no-kill,” an intake counselor cannot guarantee your pet will go up for adoption or tell you when.
Please remember, most shelters and rescues are unable to tell you anything about your pet, including whether he or she has been adopted, or give it back to you, once you relinquish ownership. This is often legally binding. If you have any reservations about leaving your pet at this point, don’t do it. In the end, trust that they will do everything they can to find it a forever home, and it may be more painful to know whether your pet is still at the shelter four months from now than not to know at all.
Go home and do something to take your mind off it.
Have a margarita, or a massage, or both. I can’t tell you it will ever stop hurting, but you’ll know that you did the best you could for them. It’s a difficult choice, but if you do it the right way, and you’re realistic about what will happen, someday, you’ll sleep easier knowing the pet you loved has someone else that loves them too.
To find a shelter or rescue in your area, click here.
Leftovers and Such a Pretty Girl, both by 
The former is a unique look at the capability of average, relatable teens to do terrible things in response to abuse and abandonment; the latter, a book from the perspective of a teenage girl whose father is returning from prison early after being put away for sexually abusing her. I highly recommend both, but if you’ll only try one, make it Leftovers for its absolutely perfect final line.
