“Love all of u guys,” is Monica’s parting message on the mirror. Coco once again acknowledges that her head hasn’t been in the game because of her drama with Alyssa, but she’s ready to cast that aside and compete. Good, because we’re over the Coco/Alyssa rivalry too. Vivienne says she was pissed that Roxxxy overpowered her in the main competition, and she would like Roxxxy to go home. Sure, Viv, blame your shortcomings on someone else. Click through, children, to read my full recap and see who lands where on this week’s Drag Race Index.
Yew guize, before we get down to it, I have to apologize. My cable was completely fucked last night so all of Drag Race played glitchy. My cable skipped and shuddered through the entire episode, sometimes as frequently as every couple of seconds so that entire minutes would pass during which I had no idea what the queens were saying and could barely discern what was going on. I’m very sorry that this recap is light/incomplete. I hate Time Warner Cable with the heat of one million suns. Hopefully next week I can recap normally again. Sorry for the digression. On to the abbreviated recap!
You’ve Got Shemail & Mini Challenge
Television Ru tells the queens they’re going to have to know how to dance. This should be good.
For the mini challenge, the queens have to don some afro wigs and do a little Drag Race Soul Train to show who has the best moves. Jinkx Monsoon and Coco Montrese are the winners.
Main Challenge
For the main challenge, the queens will be staging a drag ballet: No RuPaulogies. It’s the story of RuPaul’s career. The mini challenge winners pick teams.
Coco Montrese chooses: Alyssa Edwards, Detox, Honey Mahogany, Roxxxy Andrews, Vivienne Pinay
Jinkx Monsoon chooses: Ivy Winters, Lineysha Sparx, Alaska, Jade Jolie
During rehearsals, both teams seem to struggle greatly.
Main Stage
The judges are: RuPaul, Michelle Visage, Santino Rice, Travis Wall and Chaz Bono.
Team Jinkx seems to do much better in the performance. Team Coco just feels flat.
Vivienne once more gets called out for being boring and pedestrian.
Alyssa Edwards wins the challenge.
Lip Sync For Your Life
Vivienne Pinay and Honey Mahogany must lip sync to “Oops!…I Did It Again” if they hope to stay in the competition.
Alyssa gets it exactly right when she says they are both lacking energy. Neither one did very well.
In a shocking move, RuPaul tells both queens to sashay away.
Drag Race Index
Click to enlarge! No big surprise that I had the bottom two correct. I think everyone knew those two were not going to be around for long, but Ru shocked us all when she sent them both packing. That was seriously the most boring Lip Sync For Your Life I have ever seen.
Jinkx takes the top spot in the Index this week. She continues to show us who she is and prove she has what it takes to make it all the way to the top. It irked me that Michelle Visage quibbled over her not showing them glam. I thought her red carpet look a couple weeks ago was fairly glam, but whatev. I have no doubt Jinkx can serve up what Michelle is asking for.
The only major change to my top five is that I’ve swapped Roxxxy for Alyssa. As much as Alyssa got on my damn nerves the first couple of weeks, I am really starting to like her. Is she still annoying? Yeah, she can be, but she’s bringing her A-game week after week, and with her dance moves she really proved herself to be a force in the competition this week. Plus, I loved the montage of her giving face to the mirror.
Coco took a nose dive in the Index last week, and she remains near the bottom of the pack this week. I didn’t think she did anything exceptional to elevate her this week. Now Roxxxy joins her. Oh, Roxxxy. I still think she has the chance to do well in the competition, but this group of queens is strong overall so the smallest weaknesses are enough to send a queen home.
Next week is The Snatch Game! Are you as excited as I am? Of course you are. Not only is it the most entertaining challenge on Drag Race, it is the moment when the top five will truly be solidified. It is the challenge that immediately and clearly separates the wheat from the chaff.
I am confident that I have 4 of my top 5 correct at this point. Alyssa is the wildcard. She can give face for days, and she knows how to put a look together, but does she have what it takes to do a convincing and funny impression of someone else and succeed in The Snatch Game? We’ll find out.
At this point, I would hope that any queen worth her lip liner has already considered which person she would be for The Snatch Game. What are your predictions for next week? What did you think of last night’s episode? Do you agree with the other queens that Jade isn’t really ready for the competition and should go home? Some on Twitter were speculating that because of the double elimination Ru will bring back one of the other eliminated queens. Do you think this will happen? Jeezus, I hope not, and if so it better not be Serena ChaCha. Penny Tration, plz, if someone has to come back. Until next week, kittens.
