The creator of the Cold Stone Creamery PB&C Shake is probably a monster. No, not a truly evil spectral force, but simply a diabolical, fat-creating, franchise chain gloating, garden variety capitalist gnome. How else to describe the decision to blend chocolate ice cream, milk, and peanut butter into a cup of sin and decadent blasphemy? At 2,010 calories (and with “153g of sugar,” screamed Gooch!), it’s a wonder how any of it just doesn’t clog your arteries within the first luscious sip. I imagine he’s somewhere sitting with tubs full of chocolate and PB in talks on how to expand it all into grocery store sales. You dastardly creamy saturated fat shilling hobgoblin!
Well, let’s be fair, this isn’t exactly a novel idea as Health.com informs us.
The health conscious website has unleashed a list of “25 Diet-Busting Foods You Should Never Eat” and this shake by Coldstone tops the list with its whopping quadruple digit calorie count boasting an entire day’s worth of calories and almost three and a half times the daily limit for saturated fat. Good gracious, it’s like eating nothing but frosting for five hours straight.
There are some things on the list that are unsurprising like the 1,092 calorie Caramel Pecanbon from Cinnabon. Well, yeah, I’m thinking the word Cinnabon means “sweet bread slathered in icing and attached to your thighs forever” spoken in Paula Deen pigeon. Chili’s Onion String and Crispy Jalapeno Stack is another no-brainer. Simply put, these are deep fried onion rings and jalapenos. While it’s not deep fried butter (because what other thing on this planet is?) at 2,130 calories it won’t get much of a pass. The kicker is that most people would order this as an appetizer followed by a similarly calorie filled entree’, which in partaking, you’ve pretty much maxed out your caloric intake for the entire day. But the health benefit or lack thereof is not so difficult to pinpoint here.
The problem, though, is that for every Cinnabon or fried onion stack there’s often a false healthier option also in the mix. For instance, The Smoothie King makes a 1,044 calorie Hulk Strawberry Smoothie that’s full of sugar and made with ice cream, and Quiznos’ has on their menu a 1,070 calorie Chicken With Honey Mustard Flatbread Salad covered with bacon and cheddar cheese and also filled to the brim with 1,770mg of sodium.
Even if you think you’re staying away from some of the obvious fat and sugar laden meals, it’s important to check the serving size. Kar’s Yogurt Apple Nut Mix sounds like an alternative option to potato chips or Doritos, but a 2.75-ounce bag is an astounding 412 calories. Certain types of powerbars, like the cookies and cream versions, are not much better than candy bars, and even the Chocolaty Cherry Grain-ola Bar by Bear Naked has some of the same nutritional stats as Hershey’s Sweet and Salty Reese’s Peanut Butter bar. So yeah, stop fooling yourself. It’s like a Snickers but with granola. And who wants granola in their Snickers? It’s all a lie!
The most shameful of all the run-of-the-mill crap masquerading as healthy, good stuff, is made by the Healthy Choice brand! Oh noes! Their Sweet and Sour Chicken is high in both sugar and sodium and racks up 400 calories. What a way to undo all that yoga/pilates/running/gymming you’ve been doing all week in efforts to get fit for summer.
As we’re learning, it’s not hard to pick out the bad stuff amid offerings from fast food giants, chain restaurants, snack food retailers, and coffee houses, but it would appear more and more good health and good taste are becoming blurred. So if you’re watching what you eat, for whatever reason, the key is to be mindful of the little things that added up can lead to a pretty unhealthful meal. Many things are fine in moderation. No one’s saying not to enjoy a dinner out eating what you love, or the occasional indulgence of your Starbucks’ Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino Blended Creme with whipped cream coffee (sundae) thingie, just remember to check those stats if cutting back and retooling your intake is a goal.
Happy eating!
