So it’s been a whole ten minutes since GOP debate 17,460. Are we in withdrawal yet? No, not really, but we should catch up on what the Best and Brightest of the GOP has been doing in the last week or so. After all, until the President gets his wish, you know the one he told Jay Leno about two nights ago (see below), all we can do is watch and learn, folks…watch and learn.
The Dodger
Rick Perry, everyone’s favorite grimacing cowboy and deep thinker, started off the week playing some sort of game of hot potato with reality star and hair kangaroo, Donald Trump.
In Sunday’s Parade magazine, Gov. Perry made some questionable comments about the dead horse disguised as the Birther issue, wherein he detailed a conversation with Trump about the validity of President Obama’s birth certificate, to which most of America gained a migraine from the collective eyeroll this story produced.
He went on to clarify on Tuesday, that he does believe the President is an American citizen but that he thinks “It’s a good issue to keep alive. It’s fun to poke at him,” and that he was “just having some fun with Donald Trump,” who still doubts the veracity of Obama’s birth certificate. Really, Perry? You can afford playing some Ridiculous Things That Are Important to Donald Trump game of hopscotch, right now? Yeah? These are the things taking up your time? Do you guys also golf together and say Mitt Romney is really a Jim Henson muppet living in the skin of an irascible Mormon? Would that make you guys…Muppeters? Fantastic. Anyway, Jon Huntsman, who we assume is still a presidential candidate, took to the airwaves and basically called Perry an idiot for stirring up that old refried bean of a statement. While self-serving, you have to agree with Huntsman. This is not a place to hang your hat, Perry.
Which brings us to the more recent Perry dilemma. Should he or should he not be a huge wuss and skip a few upcoming debates? Guess which one he picked? Perry seems to think that it’s a waste of his campaign time to, you know, continue showing up. His handlers say:
“We’re about 60 days away from votes being cast,” Perry communications director Ray Sullivan said. “The candidates need to spend time in Iowa doing those town halls and spending a lot more time with the voters, who oftentimes have the best questions and press the candidates the hardest.”
Right. So this has nothing to do with fact that Romney has been handing Perry his arse in the last couple of debates? It’s not a secret that Gov. Perry has not excelled in these debates, thereby disappointing many supporters. And according to the HuffPost he’s made a habit out of avoiding debates, since he did so during his reelection campaign for Texas governor in 2010 where he flat out refused to share the stage with Democratic challenger Bill White, causing his critics to call him “chicken.”
I think I hear the flap of wings, don’t I?
The Diva
Herman Cain, smoking enthusiast, and rock and roll ballad superstar, started off his week unveiling a campaign ad that some are calling the most bizarre ad they’ve ever seen. And I disagree! It’s not bizarre if you want to promote a 1984 television series about a hardened police detective who’s a bit of a hothead, yet has a heart of gold, demonstrated by the slow, knowing smile he reveals at the end of the theme song’s fade out! This ad is perfect for what I will now call Hill Street Herman’s Blues. The ad has impacted critics, stirred up comics, and now has its own Halloween presentation. Not sure if this was the whole point, but from reports, the Herman Cain team has been questioning his moves for awhile, and some have come forward with their complaints.
According to the New York Times, Herman Cain touts having stellar management skills, but insiders in his campaign are telling a different story. They’re remarking on dysfunction and an absent Cain from the inner-workings. Basically they’re saying that he just doesn’t show up, and cancels appointments. Well, that makes sense when you’re attempting to get an acting career off the ground! He’s even getting into the role of celebrity. Apparently in an email to staff they were told not to speak to him unless spoken to, which has brought about trepidation during times of preparation for appearances. The Times makes a point of indicating how Cain has the “strength of his speechmaking, folksy charm and catchy policy plans,” but there have been a “series of missteps, which have led to the impression that the candidate lacks focus and preparation.” He’s already come under fire for his 999 plan, which some say will just raise taxes, and his dislike of the minimum wage system the country utilizes, claiming that it’s an ineffective way to raise someone out of poverty.
“The best way to create a living wage is to let the marketplace dictate it, not government. With unemployment rates so low, most businesses have to offer more to attract employees anyway.”
Does this have anything to do with that whole apples and oranges explanation?
The Dreamer
Mitt Romney, who is looking evermore like the GOP’s last hope, has been trying to stay above the fray. But such is the nature of campaigns, there’s always a way to put your foot in it so to speak, or possibly not vet an advisor who has radical ties! What?! Mother Jones reports that Walid Phares, co-chair of Mitt Romney’s Middle East advisory group, allegedly trained Lebanese militants in ideological beliefs justifying the war against Lebanon’s Muslim and Druze factions, according to former colleagues. He has since reinvented himself as a counterterrorism and national security expert, which the CIA doesn’t seem particularly happy about.
“I can’t think of any earlier instance of a [possible presidential] adviser having held a comparable formal position with a foreign organization,” says Paul Pillar, a 20-year veteran of the CIA and a professor at Georgetown’s Center for Peace and Security Studies. “It should raise eyebrows any time someone in a position to exert behind-the-scenes influence on a US leader has ties to a foreign entity that are strong enough for foreign interests, and not just US interests, to determine the advice being given.”
Uh, oh, Mittens. This could possibly spell trouble. Add to that new reports that Romney has been hob-knobbing and fundraising with Solyndra lobbyists and you may have some questions to answer in the next debate! And you thought that whole immigrant workers thing was bad. But, you know, Rick Perry may not even show up to the next one of these things, so maybe he won’t be there to ask the question in that smirking, smug way of his, well, until you throw a laser pointer dot on the wall and he’s distracted. So maybe only Michele Bachmann will bring it up!
The Dingbat
Michele Bachmann started out this week with Caesar on her mind. Et tu Brute? The entire New Hampshire Team Bachmann staff walked out on her earlier this week citing that they “no longer have faith in the national team.” Some back and forth ensued where Bachmann claimed no knowledge, then accepted the information, and is now kicking into recovery mode from this latest shake in confidence. The New Hampshire staffers claim that they felt “deceived,” “left out of the loop,” and “relegated to second-class citizens.” The press release further stated the manner in which the national team treated the local staffers was “rude, unprofessional, dishonest, and at times cruel,” and New Hampshire citizens were dealt with in a similar fashion.
So we should just assume that this is the way the country would be run then, Michele? Gotcha. Thanks for clearing that up.
Not to be outdone by that pesky New Hampshire staff, Bachmann surged forward offending women and humans everywhere. She backtracked on a statement on state abortion bans of which she said she was a fan of. Later she indicated the opposite.
I don’t ever recall anything about that. I don’t recall a question about that. I’ve always been absolutely unequivocal about [abortion being a federal issue]. They should contact the campaign before they post something like that, because that is not true.”
Oh, yeah, Michele…there’s video of you saying it should be a state issue.
And of course, our friend, Shootin Stuff Michele, rounded out a week of sensational coverage with this nice gem about the United Nations and the 2nd Amendment.
“I don’t believe in the U.N. taking that right away from us, as well. There are international treaties that want to do that.”
Which has been debunked as patently absurd since The United Nations has no authority over constitutional rights.
