It’s that time of year again, summer is officially (according to the unofficial calendar) upon us.
Can you sense my excitement? No? Have a seat, let me explain.
I grew up in, and currently live in a beach resort – America’s Favorite Family Resort, to be exact. It’s a small island where 9 months out of the year the population hovers around 15,300. The streets are quiet, the stores and restaurants (the few that remain open, anyway) are easily accessible (no wait times!) and you rarely hear a police or fire siren. The population trends older (or at least if feels that way) and sometimes, when the wind blows just right, I swear I’m living on the set of Gilmore Girls … just a little more Jersey-er. As boring as it can be – I have grown to really appreciate and enjoy it; and by the time the last weekend of May passes, I’m clinging to those “happy thoughts” with every fiber of my being.
It happens around the same time every year but it takes me by surprise every time. They arrive in droves, sending the population upward – over 100,000. And they take over every empty inch of sand and boardwalk in their quest to have the greatest summer ever, full of fist pumping and, well you know the rest.
Wait! Wait. Stop right there. This isn’t the Jersey Shore you see on TV. We don’t have to deal with Guidettes and Juice Heads on this island. Nope. We have to deal with something far worse, families. Thousands of families who spend good money to enjoy a weekend or a week or a few months in their version of paradise (or, maybe just the best they can afford in tough economic times). They’re welcomed with open arms! This island loves families! We wouldn’t be able to survive without them. They are our economy. We’re happy to have them, really.
Most of them.
Some of them are just awful, unhappy, wretched human beings who can send even the calmest local into a tailspin. I call these people Rotten Eggs, and just like real rotten eggs – the hotter it gets, the smellier they become. Rotten Eggs can be good people and they can get help. They can enjoy their vacation. If they recognize their ways before it’s too late.
Thoughtful gal that I am, I don’t want you guys to miss out on a single second of your vacation. So I’m here to keep you from becoming a Rotten Egg before you even pack those Speedos and bikinis.
Here are three rules to live by when vacationing in America’s Favorite Family Resort, or elsewhere:
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Just look at those biceps If people don’t treat you like a sleeveless Blake Griffin in the town in which you live, don’t expect them to treat you that way while away. The Universe doesn’t make a sudden shift and begin rotating around you simply because you’re wearing a fanny pack and a pair of Crocs. Sure, you’re vacationing – you want to feel special and enjoy yourself, but unless you’re going to a luxury hotel that specializes in that sort of thing, don’t expect it. And certainly don’t demand it. The people that are working at the grocery store and the restaurant and the boardwalk gift shop you’re visiting? They’re human beings, too. They’re working just like you work. They’re not servants and they’re not to be treated as such. Be respectful, and you’ll almost always be respected in return.
- Relax. You’re on vacation! Not everything is going to go exactly how you planned it. This is still real life, after-all. There will be bumps in the road, you’ll probably get sunburn and you may even have the misfortune of vacationing during a storm. I assure you, none of these things will cause the world to end. Not even close. Make the best out of the hand you are dealt. Why waste precious time off/away getting upset over things you can’t control?
- Put in a little effort. You never know what’s going to happen, that’s the one thing you can always count on. By doing a little homework before time you can be prepared if you need to change plans or adapt because of weather (for example). Find some indoor and outdoor activities to do while away. They exist! You just have to look. A rainy vacation doesn’t have to be a bad vacation.
It’s all about your demeanor, guys. Vacations shouldn’t be stressed filled and nasty – not for you, and not for the locals you are visiting. They should be calm, relaxing and fun. So take a deep breath, put in a little effort and treat people the way you want to be treated. If you follow these three (easy!) steps, you will have the best vacation you can have. If not, you should at least be prepared to get the finger by a local or two who just can’t understand “what the hell ya problem is.”
