As you probably know, online dating sites only attract the most smartest and least emotionally troubled people on the internets. And no dating site attracts more emotionally healthy individuals than OKCupid, the free dating site that was founded by awful, awful nerds who should never have been let out of their mom’s basement.
Recently OKCupid recommended a hottie who, in her profile, describes her religious beliefs as “Christianity and very serious about it.”
Here are my favorite excerpts from the “very serious” Christian girl’s dating profile:
My Self-Summary
… if you know me then you know ialways keep my head up reqardless . ; “oh shes stuckup” . you damn riqht . irefuse to lower my standards ‘& belittle myself to YOUR satisfaction … idont fuck w.alot of people . ihave serious trust issues . ; anqer issues as well . ‘& ima emotional wreck . – oh well . you still love me 🙂 . a true perfectionist w.many flaws . youre secondary to me . you dont mean shit . ; oh yes ima bitch 🙂 . ‘& mean as hell whnn i wanna be . iqnorant ‘& moronic people annoy me . ; attitude like fuck you ‘& yours . livinq tha qlamourous life . on some fly shxt . some real fly shxt . – 🙂 . im thankful for everythinq ihave ‘& itake nothinq for qranted . ; im ready to take on whatever challenqes life has in store for me . ; three Ls to tha head ‘& im out
What I’m Doing With My Life
well im currently working on my calendar ima model, video vixen, and strippa buh nun of tht defines the person i really am inside =]
A stripper with a heart of gold. Ok, not gold. We already covered the numerous anger issues. But still, I think I’m in love and am hearing a Jason Mraz song playing in the background.
The First Things People Usually Notice About Me
my eyes and my ass … lol but seriously doe!
Seriously doe, breath out of your nose! It makes “though” much easier to type somehow. I don’t know how exactly that works, but think some punk-ass scientist bitch came up with that shit.
My favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
i hate reading, my favorite movie is “TAKERS”….
In her defense, there is NOTHING worse than a stripper who reads. “Oh, I’m a stripper. I can read. Look at me. I’m all fancy and whatnot.”
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how my life chanqed DRAMATiCALLY 5yrs ago!
Wait, aren’t you a stripper right now. Are you implying that your life got dramatically better five years ago? I’m scared to even think about what constitutes a move up to “the pole.”
You should message me if
U WANNA KNO MORE ABT THiS BADD BiTCH !
The very serious commitment to Christianity. The terrible spelling. The nonsensical capitalization. The aversion to education. The way she writes “Badd” with two Ds… I think I’m in love and can now stop my search for the perfect woman. I’ve met Wife #2. Sorry ladies, you’ll have to get in line behind the BADD BiTCH.
