Aliens are not done with us yet. This boggles the mind since I can’t imagine what they’re up there thinking about us. Well, possibly that they need to come and collect Charlie Sheen because he’s just an embarrassment to their entire race, and maybe given the infantile joy myself and others get out of ABC’s Wipeout, that we probably aren’t potty-trained, but nonetheless, something about us is still interesting to the spaceman. Marvin and his fellow Martians don’t give us enough credit. In a fight we’d hold our own (Unity!), and then we’d become enslaved (Defeat!), but jokes on them because they’d find out that eating us would be counterproductive since we’re loud and mostly chewy. Right? Right. Viva La Rebellion.
Battle: Los Angeles
Well, this was a quick death. The reviews are abysmal.
For years, there have been documented cases of UFO sightings around the world – Buenos Aires, Seoul, France, Germany, China. But in 2011, what were once just sightings will become a terrifying reality when Earth is attacked by unknown forces. As people everywhere watch the world’s great cities fall, Los Angeles becomes the last stand for mankind in a battle no one expected. It’s up to a Marine staff sergeant (Aaron Eckhart) and his new platoon to draw a line in the sand as they take on an enemy unlike any they’ve ever encountered before.
What you can expect: Aliens! Aliens Invading! Military types will try to save humanity from an alien attack. Probably lots of desperate scenes with people leaving families, losing loved ones, the expected amount of shock, horror, and perseverance that coincide with movies of this type. It’s a familiar trek. Aliens come, people freak out, it becomes obvious that they want the planet to become a scorched hole, we fight, etc. etc. There’s Aaron Eckhart as the plucky hero. Michelle Rodriguez (Lt. Vasquez, always) donning military gear per usual. All that’s missing from the trailer is the scientist/academic/crazy basement lair person who knew this was coming because he or she read the microwave frequency in a glass of water or something.
What could annoy: While the trailer was pretty good, and it struck just the right tone of humanity coupled with the threat of extinction — we’ve seen this before, no? The last decade or so have been full of the Alien Attack movies in earnest have they not? Regardless, we as the movie-going public still get excited by the prospect of a good alien movie, but we may be starting to tire of this particular tread. It’s probably time for a new twist on this old genre. Also, a brief word about Shaky Cam can we just retire this please? Yes, yes, we get it. You want DOCUMENTARY STYLE FILMMAKING but really, it’s just annoying and sick-making, and no one leaves a theater saying, “You know that movie was great, but there just wasn’t enough shaky cam.” See? We don’t think it adds anything. So, you know, stop.
Mars Needs Moms:
And apparently a better movie. So far the reviews are out of this world and circling the drain.
Take out the trash, eat your broccoli-who needs moms, anyway? Nine-year-old Milo (Seth Green) finds out just how much he needs his mom (Joan Cusack) when she’s nabbed by Martians who plan to steal her mom-ness for their own young. With the help of a tech-savvy, underground earthman named Gribble (Dan Fogler) and a rebel Martian girl called Ki (Elisabeth Harnois), Milo just might find his way back to his mom-in more ways than one.
What you can expect: Kid-fare, light and easy. Possibly set out to be a slightly message-y movie about not taking moms for granted. It’s high on adventure and kids being sassy and goofy. The producing team are veterans at churning out these little tales. It probably doesn’t bring anything altogether new to the story aspect of films of this ilk, meaning no great emotional moments. It’s just more of the “Kids like Aliens too” ideal that goes along with the recent releases of Megamind and Monsters vs. Aliens.
What could annoy: The fact that this little movie is showing in 3-D and in IMAX theaters. It doesn’t seem like something that should get so much technology. Perhaps this is a test run for other bigger Disney movies with which they really want to play with all those new-fangled 3-D ideas? While I love Joan Cusack, the pairing of her as the mom and Seth Green as the son is a little strange, right? They’re twelve years apart. I’m not sure how that works, but okay.
Red Riding Hood:
Well, yeah, those reviews say something — something bad.
Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) is a beautiful young woman torn between two men. She is in love with a brooding outsider Peter (Shiloh Fernandez), but her parents have arranged for her to marry the wealthy Henry (Max Irons). Unwilling to lose each other, Valerie and Peter are planning to run away together when they learn that Valerie’s older sister has been killed. As the death toll rises, Valerie begins to suspect the killer could be someone she loves. Panic grips the town as Valerie discovers that she has a unique connection to the killer-one that inexorably draws them together, making her both suspect…and bait.
What you can expect: Twilight starring Amanda Seyfried. That’s mostly it. This is classified as horror. Hmm, okay, well I guess. The trailer goes for a lot of visual fluff. Lots of stark red images against the palest of backdrops, even Seyfried is a pale backdrop. It looks like a juiced up teen romp and that’s probably what it’ll deliver. There’s a lot of “pause for dramatic effect” scenes in the trailer. We’re supposed to be drawn into the suspense of the whole who is the wolf thing, but this didn’t work so well for last year’s The Wolfman remake or M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village, which this seems vaguely reminiscent of.
What could annoy: The Twilight trope. We’ve seen it. And frankly the next Twilight installment with a new director seems like a better bet in this genre than this watered down version. Amanda Seyfried could annoy if you don’t like her particularly. She has come a long way from using her boobs as a weather vane in Mean Girls, but is she really ready to be the opening draw for a movie all her own? We’ll see. Mostly it looks like the movie is planning to get by with pretty people with smoldering glances. Okay. And Gary Oldman, just what are you doing in this thing?
Indie Pick of the Week:
Certified Copy:
This one is getting rave reviews. Naturally.
Juliette Binoche won the Best Actress prize in Cannes for her performance in this playful and provocative romantic drama. Binoche plays a gallery owner living in a Tuscan village who attends a lecture by a British author (opera star William Shimell) on authenticity and fakery in art. Afterward, she invites him on a tour of the countryside, during which he is mistaken for her husband. They keep up the pretense and continue on their afternoon out, discussing love, life and art, and increasingly behaving like a long-married couple. But are they play-acting on a whim, or is there more to their seemingly new relationship than meets the eye?
What you can expect: A lush locale and Juliette Binoche…’nuff said? Yes. It looks like a blissful little jaunt into Tuscany and some interesting discussions about life and love to boot. There looks to be some circumstances that lend themselves to clandestine meetings and how to navigate attraction and passion. The one-on-one interaction and chemistry is what is at the heart of this movie. Binoche doesn’t appear to be the same colorful free spirit that she once was in Chocolat, but even as a pedestrian in a new situation she still brings depth and humor to the screen.
What could annoy: Too much Tuscany? Too much Binoche doing that Binoche-y thing she does…which is awesome. Perhaps for some. If you don’t like the dissection of a relationship then the face-to-face characterization of one seen here may not be to your liking.
Here’s a link to the trailer just in case you missed it:
