surprises

Let’s say, just for funsies, that your favorite relative in the entire world, your old Auntie Eugenia, went to her favorite seven-come-eleven outlet and shelled out twenty smackeroos on a scratch-off ticket, then handed it to you in an envelope on Christmas Day. That’s your present.

“Thanks, Auntie,” you think to yourself, “I could have bought a Starbucks Grande Mocha Choka Latte Ya Ya drink with that cash and had money left over for a tip, or I could have shanked it on down to the bodega for a lil somethin’ from One Eyed Jimmy, if you know what I mean.” But, Auntie believes in state-sponsored gambling, and she’s not so good with the mobility these days, she’s not going to wander around the mall looking for something for you, now is she? She was there, the lottery man was so nice to her, and so this is what you’re handed. Continue reading →