gawkward

4 posts

Gawkward: We Like Sportz Edition

Gawkward is Crasstalk’s regular feature where we point out the most insane bullshit that gets posted to Gawker.

Today’s Gawkward is actually from Gawker’s fratty younger brother, Deadspin. Here’s the backstory:

1. On Monday Night Football, the Arizona Cardinals continued their season of general suckery by getting smoked by the fairly-sucky-themselves San Francisco 49ers.

2. During the fourth quarter of that game, long after the Cardinals’ general suckery had become obvious and the game was no longer in question, Cardinals QB Derek “Moose Balls” Anderson was briefly caught sitting on the bench cracking a smile after a teammate said something to him. No, he was not caught sucking a clown’s dick. He was not caught buying jenkem from a Malaysian tranny-boy. He was not caught murdering kittens with a blow torch. He was caught smiling.

3. After the game, some enterprising cockhole of a reporter blind-sided Moose Balls with a gotcha question about “the smile.” Moose Balls, understandably,  did not take it well when some Dockers-wearing asshole questioned his competitive drive. Moose Balls stomped out.

4. The aforementioned smile, combined with the press conference temper tantrum caused an ESPN-fueled Jetstream of Bullshit from the sports media.

5. Deadspin smartly asked the awesome former NFL tight end Nate Jackson to write an essay about the incident. He defended Moose Balls. Go read it. It’s really well written. It turns out all professional athletes are not actually completely worthless to society when not performing on the field.

6. One Deadspin commenter, shady37, was not impressed.

This article is fucking outrageous. The people who think its ok to laugh when you’re getting blown out in MNF, when a loss in this game ends the 2010 season are the same people who probably think its ok to not keep score in little league games so little johnny’s feelings don’t get hurt because his team lost. Magic Johnson is right, Anderson should get cut from Arizona. Like Magic said, Anderson is suppossed to be the team leader, hes the QB, and players will follow Anderson’s actions. I know I don;t want a team that can laugh on the sidelines when they are getting disgraced. When the Giants lost to the Colts, all the fucking Giants looked like they wanted to fucking die. That shows to me as a fan they are into the game and that they care. Not one person should stick up for this piece of trash. Lets not forget he lost his starting job this year because he sucked so bad. There’s no coincidence here, his shitty attitude does have a correlation to his shitty play.

Make sure you go and read all the replies because it goes on from there, and turns into a general pile-on with shady37 continuing to replay… which just makes it worse (better for the rest of us). Sometimes you dig a hole, and then just keep on digging deeper…

@blogsarefun: Get a fucking clue? I’ve played sports my entire life. I ain’t laughing if I’m getting smoke whether I’m playing football, baseball or handball. If you are totally vested in the game, the game feels like 10 minutes long, not 3 hours. When the game is about to end, a vested player feels like it just started.
I didn’t watch the giants sideline the entire time. But i know Giants leaders like Tuck, Osi, Eli were never laughing, not for one second. If a bench warmer, a backup kicker, someone who never gets in the game is laughing on the sidelines, I can understand that, because backups who don’t play can’t be nearly as invested in the game as a starter. Anderson is no backup, although he should be a 4th stringer or practice squad QB. He was the starting qb, the supposed leader of the team. It’s unacceptable for him to be laughing and sitting on the bench. And who the fuck is Nate. Never heard of him. I think I’ll listen to Magic Johnson, someone who knows what it takes to be a champion, to be one of the best all-times in his sport, and knows the kind of mental attitude it takes to be a champion and a winner. Oh yea, and I’ll listen to Gruden too. A blowhard, how about a Super Bowl Winning Coach.

T-giving Group Gawktard Gawkwards of the Day

In response to a post about Wikileaks causing a rift between the US and its allies, MsAndreaDworkinIsInThaHouse brings us another comment full of insight and nuance http://gawker.com/comment/33078113/

Her comments are like the call of the great wild Gawktard: shrill, stupid and without thought and they always bring the lulz. If Andrea Dworkin could see what her name hath wrought I suspect she’d be sad at the spectacle of the stupid.

Gawkward: Poor Rupert Murdoch Edition

Gawkward is Crasstalk’s compilation of truly ridiculous/idiotic Gawker comments.

Today’s Gawkward contribution comes from the commenter MsAndreaDworkinIsInThaHouse after a nice post by Ryan Tate making the case that News Corp.’s new iPad-only news app was doomed to fail:

at least he’s trying. entrepreneurs take risks. that’s why some people are entrepreneurs and some people criticize them.

Well played, Ms. Dworkin! It’s so obvious that this Tate fellow is just some jealous pussy who’s afraid to start his own mom-and-pop multinational right-wing media death cult. Good job. Now let’s go make sure Bristol Palin doesn’t get voted off DWTS!!!1!!!

Gawkward: Kim Kardashian Khredit Khard edition

So I’m thinking we should create a new running feature called Gawkward. It’s where we find the most insane, trollish and unintentionally hilarious Gawker comments and re-post them here for everyone’s enjoyment.

Here’s a fine specimen posted on the article about Kim Kardashian’s shady pre-paid credit card:

http://gawker.com/comment/32743291/

Just so I understand: gal who partied with Paris Hilton asn is daughter of OK Simpson knife hiding accomplice Robert Kardahsian, who got his by the Fates, and used that to parlay herself to fame by fucking a, horror, black giu,on tape, and then went on to whoring hereslf out on :reality tv based on those accomplisments is now a credit card selling thing (I knew this), that parens would allow their daughtes to have????? My parents were not the greatest, but I never felt the desperate need ofr fame and momey that would make me do all tht. And parents think this is an acceptable enough role model to get a credit card for their future teen mom/pole dancing/porn star daughters who will be in debt in the six figures by age eightenn due to the rampant materialism forced down their throats not tempered by the wise financial lessons of common sense parents?

This is why America is fucked. The poar bears on the melting ice caps, and the dehydrated baby elephant of aAfrica looking for a sip don’t have a fucking chance. I blame the parents and believe one must get a license to get pregnant or keep it, and not just based on a test from some state goverment bullsjt/ This is awful,

First of all, OK Simpson is just perfect in every way. Also, there may or may not be some sort of eugenics-esque appeal for state-sponsored sterilization at the end there. It’s hard to tell with all the “bullsjt.”