My four year old son is so wound up about Christmas that I’m somewhat concerned that he will spontaneously combust from his own excitement. It is extremely cute and Christmas morning is definitely one of the best times to be a parent. It’s particularly rewarding with my son, who is easily pleased and is thrilled when someone gives him a new pencil.
But how on earth are we going to get our children to sleep on Christmas Eve? We’ve got presents to put together and we’d like to set it up to look like Santa Claus made an effort. I’ve got to find some way to get the kids to bed and make them stay there.
I’m fortunate enough to have fairly mellow children for the most part. They’re small so they get into plenty of nonsense but they’re generally well-behaved. However, in the last few days, they have turned into manic little elves. My son is almost hysterical with Christmas spirit. We’ve had nonstop tantrums and I swear my son has regressed into a two year old. He’s also been puking a lot. My 2 year old daughter doesn’t remember last year but she knows something is up and is excited by default.
I’ve decided that my best bet is to completely exhaust them on Christmas Eve. Here’s a preliminary schedule I’ve worked up:
Well. Here I am with my 8yo nephew. We’re wet. I don’t really like it all that much.
I did not have a decent rompie all weekend because of the rain. But, we did errands today and then went to the upper football field at the high school and I got to run around in the pouring rain in the puddles and I had a blast. I am soaked! It’s not so bad now, because I am laying on the warm bed drying out. And the Cabin will smell like me! Which is how it should be.
The most patented device is the US is the mousetrap, but I’m sure number two is the alarm clock.
Science has long promised us a graceful awakening based on our own body rhythms giving us a nice way to start the day. Instead we have been given alarm clocks that are loud, alarm clocks that run awy from us, ones that play only music you don’t like, ones that donate money to causes you hate for every minute you stay in bed. This kind of stick instead of carrot system has gone on far too long.
Now you can finally have a gentle marriage of technology and body rhythm to get your lazy ass out of bed. WakeMate.
The website even lets you track your sleep paterns so you can obsessively search WebMD for sleep disorders that you have diagnosed yourself with. Now wake up, fall out of bed, drag a comb across your head and get some coffee so you can really wake up.
Hey all you bakers and baker-wannabes!! Quick reminder for you to brave the grocery store today and get 2 pounds of flour (!), eggs, milk, sugar, and butter (I get the Kerrygold UNsalted – it’s freaking delicious). Then find a big mixing bowl and your rolling pin, and a couple of cookie sheets. Oh, and make sure you have saran wrap. That’s it! Oh wait, if you want filled, get some jams or whatever. Don’t get the cheap crap, get something a bit pricey that has sugar and not HFCS.
Croissant is not that difficult, but it is time-consuming and a little bit moody depending on the weather. Those of us in Cali are going to have a time of it I tell you, what with all the rain.
So tune in tomorrow at around noon-ish pacific time. I’ll be sortof liveblogging the prep with cell phone pics of the mess. You can post your questions in the comments and I’ll do my best to help you through. The full recipe is down the main page if you lost it.
Come bake with Stabby! Your xmas dinner will thank you.
As always, see these films! Use a Bit Torrent client to download these. Google for instructions if you don’t know what to do (its not at all difficult.) If you get a message saying that the torrent cannot be downloaded, try a different torrent client. VLC plays both of these, you may have problems playing on things other than your computer. I’m not responsible if you try to play it on your ps3 and it blows your house up!
Ok Crasstalkers. Let’s EDIT: GET DRUNK AND watch movies together.
We’ll figure out a date, maybe the second week opposite Book Club? and then agree on a movie to rent/stream/torrent/watch/drink/imbibe/partake together and liveblog the fun.
The movie can be artsy or foreign or a classic classic or a modern classic. Leave your suggestions in the replies and we’ll get this party started.
Didn’t think we’d stoop so low as to use listicles to whore ourselves out for pageviews?
THINK AGAIN, CRAZY PERSON.
Personally, I love listicles. I love packing information in Top 10 List form. I want my medical history to be a listicle. I want my last will and testament to be delivered in listicle form to my descendants. So if you don’t like listicles and think they’re cheap and tacky… you can go enjoy yourself over at C-SPAN’s website or something.
So anyway, here are my Top 10 Most Underrated Musical Instruments. This is all very scientific, so don’t even try to argue with my findings.
1. The hi-hat
The hi-hat wasn’t even invented until the 1920s, which makes it among the youngest of all percussion instruments. The hi-hat is basically two cymbals mounted on a rod. A spring keeps the two cymbals pressed together until the drummer presses a foot pedal to lift the top cymbal. The hi-hat can make both an “open” hat and a “closed” hat sound.
Here’s Max Roach playing nothing but the hi-hat.
and here’s Buddy Rich….
2. The Hammond B3 Organ
The Hammond Organ was invented in the 30s and marketed to churches as a low-cost alternative to traditional pipe organs. The Hammond uses a system of tonewheels and electromagnetic pickups to make its sound and despite many, many, many attempts to copy its sound electronically, most purists feel there’s just no substitute for the sound of an authentic B3. The instrument is all over rock music, soul, jazz, blues… basically EVERYTHING made between about 1963 and 1980.
Here’s Billy Preston shredding on the B3…
3. The lap steel.
The lap steel is a type of guitar that’s played with a metal slide instead of having the strings pressed down onto the neck. According to Wikipedia, it may have been invented in 1885 when some guy started playing his guitar with a railroad spike, then a knife blade. I hope this is true, because that’s just badass. The lap steel is probably most associated with the country/western twang, but it’s also used in a lot of gospel, jazz, blues and rock.
Here’s Robert Randolph covering “Billie Jean”… on the lap steel… seriously.
4. The vibraphone.
I mentioned the vibraphone in my post about Roy Ayers. The vibraphone uses aluminum bars and electrically-powered resonator tubes to get is signature mellow sound. The thing I love the most about the vibes is that the act of actually playing the instrument is so expressive and physical. It’s just huge fun to watch.
Here’s “King of the Vibes” Lionel Hampton…
5. The steelpan.
The steelpan is sort of distantly related to a lot of other Afro-Caribbean percussion instruments but the modern steelpan really came about when it was invented in Trinidad in the late 40s using 55-gallon steel drums. Technically, the steelpan is not a drum but an idiophone, since it doesn’t have a membrane like a drum does. And although the steelpan is sort of lazily associated with tourist-friendly resort calypso, you really need to check out the huge Trinidadan steel bands to hear what it’s capable of.
Here’s a steel band perfroming at Trinidad’s carnival….
6. The harpsichord.
The piano really did make the harpsichord its bitch for the past few hundred years. It’s too bad, because the harpsichord, which plucks rather than strikes the tuned strings, is one of those instruments that instantly makes you feel like European royalty… either that or you’re about to be involved in some kind of creepy Eyes Wide Shut masquerade sex orgy.
Here’s Sonata in D minor by Domenico Scarlatti, played on a modern harpsichord (I have no idea whether this is considered good classical music or not, but my ears like it)…
7. The marimba.
The marimba is very similar to the vibraphone, except it’s not electrically amplified and it uses wood bars instead of aluminum ones. The instrument is probably based on much older African instruments, so it’s one of those truly primal sounds that humans have evolved alongside over centuries. I love that.
Here’s Brian Jones playing the marimba on “Under My Thumb” by the Stones…
8. The Minimoog.
The Minimoog is an analog synthesizer that was first released in 1970 (though the technology it uses is a bit older). The idea behind the Minimoog was to make a synthesizer that was portable, since early synths were basically the size of a fucking Volkswagen. Sun Ra and Keith Emerson were among the first to use Minimoogs on stage.
Here’s “Metropolis” by Kraftwerk…
9. The timbales.
Timbales are cuban drums that are tuned extremely high and placed up high so that the player stands while performing. They can be played ridiculously fast and it’s almost impossible to not want to dance when hearing timbales played. Why the hell don’t you see more non-latin musicians playing them? What a historically underutilized instrument!
Here’s “El Rey Del Timbal” Tito Puente performing with Sheila E (seriously, how fucking cool are these two?)…
10. The Jew’s harp.
The most politically-incorrect instrument name of all time? Maybe. Especially since, the Jew’s harp has absolutely nothing to do with the Jewish people. (It was probably invented in central Asia.) You can call it a “jaw harp” if you prefer. The Jew’s harp is also one of the world’s oldest musical instruments and definitely one of the weirdest-sounding. It’s a reed attached to a metal frame, which is then bit down on with the player’s teeth and plucked with the finger. I think I would injure myself playing this thing.
Here’s Roger Daltrey playing it at the very beginning of “Join Together” by The Who….
