Manic Elves

Crossposted from bbqcornnuts.typepad.com

My four year old son is so wound up about Christmas that I’m somewhat concerned that he will spontaneously combust from his own excitement. It is extremely cute and Christmas morning is definitely one of the best times to be a parent. It’s particularly rewarding with my son, who is easily pleased and is thrilled when someone gives him a new pencil.

But how on earth are we going to get our children to sleep on Christmas Eve? We’ve got presents to put together and we’d like to set it up to look like Santa Claus made an effort. I’ve got to find some way to get the kids to bed and make them stay there.

I’m fortunate enough to have fairly mellow children for the most part. They’re small so they get into plenty of nonsense but they’re generally well-behaved. However, in the last few days, they have turned into manic little elves. My son is almost hysterical with Christmas spirit. We’ve had nonstop tantrums and I swear my son has regressed into a two year old. He’s also been puking a lot. My 2 year old daughter doesn’t remember last year but she knows something is up and is excited by default.

I’ve decided that my best bet is to completely exhaust them on Christmas Eve. Here’s a preliminary schedule I’ve worked up:

5 am: Let’s get up early!

7-10 am: Wind sprints in the park

10-noon: High impact hide and seek

1-3: Extreme Gymnastics

3-6 pm: As much running as possible

7-8 pm: Mainlining Sleepytime tea

8 pm: Straitjackets and locked bedroom doors