What The Hell Am I Supposed To Do With All These Christmas Cards?

I’ll admit it: I did not write a single Christmas card this year.

Oh, I should have. I should have sat down like a good little girl and wrote out dozens of times “Merry Christmas! Love, Newsbunny!” However, I didn’t. I’ve had two biopsies in the last three weeks and I just didn’t feel like it.

My husband is another story. He is half-elf. He bought Christmas cards, carefully chosen, filled with as much glitter as possible, wrote a personal message in every single once of them, sealed the envelope with his own precious ginger saliva, popped a Christmas stamp on the whole thing, and dumped it the mailbox, mostly likely while Whos from Whoville gathered round him holding hands and singing songs while a gentle snow fell on his dark red hair.  Continue reading →

Happy New Year! Time to Feel Shitty About Yourself!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY84MRnxVzo
Sir Mix-a-Lot says you’re awesome just the way you are.

Hello, Fatso!

The holidays are over. O-V-E-R. So what are you doing, lazing about the floor, watching that marathon of Hoarding? You know what you’re hoarding? Fat. fatfatfatfat. You are a worthless jerk who will make less money all your life and never find love because you shop at Lane Bryant or at the Big and Tall store.

The commercials are all here to tell you that.   Continue reading →

Last Chance Charity Giving for 2011

You only have a few hours left to receive a tax deduction for making charitable contribution for 2011. Giving to charity not only can score you a little relief on your tax bill, but also makes the world a nicer place, but you all already know that. To qualify an organization must be a 501(c)(3) charity that is registered with the IRS. For further information see this IRS guide. Continue reading →