It’s a good thing there’s nothing out there called a Pro-Death Teletown Hall, because wouldn’t that be an interesting meeting full of nutjobs? Anyway, four of your favorite GOP Presidential Candidates, in preparation for the big Iowa Caucus Debutante Ball, met to discuss “personhood” the much debated terminology pro-lifers have recently adopted in efforts to create legislation as it pertains to abortion in this country.
Apparently, some sort of oath written in blood or Santorum was expected to be produced at the end of this town hall, which basically said that all candidates would uphold the laws of “Personhood” whenever they’re written, and however enforced. Women in this country don’t worry about having your voice heard, the good folks over in the GOP will decide this all for you!
Let’s see what happened during the “Abortion Sucks!” forum.
Former House speaker Newt Gingrich, former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.), Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) and Texas Gov. Rick Perry participated in the meeting organized by Personhood USA and other pro-life groups, which was broadcast during syndicated conservative radio host Steve Deace’s radio program and aired on 88 stations nationwide. The candidates took questions from listeners and from Personhood USA’s CEO Keith Mason.
So, was this basically a commercial for Personhood USA? An endorsement? An indoctrination? (Heh. Isn’t it ironic to throw that word back at the Republicans?) Well, whatever it was, it seems to have proven to be a courting tactic of anti-abortion and Christian voters ahead of the Iowa Caucus. The Huffington Post reports that more than 40,000 listeners tuned in. However, Rep. Ron Paul, Gov. Mitt Romney, and former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman did not attend. Could that be because part of Personhood USA’s rhetoric, or device, or magic binding Rumpelstiltskinian contract implores participants sign a pledge that requires signers “defend all innocent human life,” and reaffirm that “Abortion and the intentional killing of an innocent human being are always wrong and should be prohibited.”
Romney and Huntsman haven’t signed the pledge. Ron Paul, signed the document, but added a statement that leaves the door open for states to determine how to enforce a hypothetical Human Life Amendment, if it were added to the U.S. Constitution.
“A Human Life Amendment should do two things,” Paul writes. “First, it should define life as beginning at conception and give the unborn the same protection all other human life enjoys. Second, it must deal with the enforcement of the ruling much as any law against violence does — through state laws.”
Personhood USA was none too pleased with Paul’s addendum. You see, it’s the state laws part that gives them the palpitations. Personhood USA believes that “personhood” legislation should be enforced federally, and along with it, anyone found guilty of breaking the laws would be held accountable i.e. if someone is found partaking in abortion, murder charges could and should be filed. Paul’s statement has some questioning his commitment to pro-life beliefs, because heaven forbid anyone not agree totally that women should be jailed for having an abortion across the board without input from independent states.
Jennifer Mason, the spokeswoman for Personhood USA discussed those who didn’t attend the forum.
“We believe this forum was for candidates who signed the pledge without reservations, and if a candidate claims to be a Republican, then they should have no problem signing this pledge,” Mason said.
Each of those who did attend took turns spouting why they think “personhood” legislation would be the bestest thing ever in the entire world of puritanical decisions made about a whole gender of people that exist in our free nation!
Perry, who had some sort of epiphany when he fell off his most recent turnip truck, promised that if elected president he would “enforce the right to life” with a “human life amendment … without waiting for the courts to overturn Roe vs. Wade.” “Roe vs. Wade will be overturned,” he continued, “with a true pro-life president possibly appointing upwards of two or three new Supreme Court justices, so that would be my goal.” He also described that epiphany as a transformation in his position on abortion in cases of rape or incest. Apparently he had a powwow with Personhood USA spokeswoman, Rebecca Kiessling, where they talked at length and watched an indoctrination informational video that “pierced his heart.”
Bachmann, who signed the pledge within twenty minutes of being asked, told the town hall how she was FIRST1111!!! then plugged her book “Core of Conviction,” and closed out her statements about how President Obama wants to put the Abortion pill right next to the Pop Rocks on pharmacy shelves for little girls age eight to buy, and no one told her The Morning After Pill is not the Abortion Pill, because it’s just easier to let her believe what she says then tell her there’s no Walgreens Brand Abortion Pill Santa Claus.
Santorum didn’t specifically outline what he would do as president to defend Personhood legislation, but said that “irrespective of what the court does, you do what you do, and you fight!” Then he rolled into a fox hole and grabbed his plastic abortion BB gun and said “Bang, bang, abortion, you’re dead!”
Newt Gingrich went forth with his “Everyone is Out of Order” pounding of his make believe president gavel and said that he would “write [a Personhood] bill so that it is not appealable” and offered his plan to subpoena federal judges to testify before Congress in the event that their rulings are deemed “Anti-American” by a hypothetical Gingrich administration, as well as “overhaul the U.S. Foreign Service to get rid of the people who are aggressively pro-abortion and aggressively trying to pressure other governments into adopting pro-abortion positions.” He’d also like to name cheese a Communist, bacon the apex of terrorism, and baked beans one of the four horseman of the apocalypse.
Whatever, Newt. Not even the moderators wanted to continue hearing you shout and sputter about the benefits of a Gingrich dictatorship. At the close of the town hall he was cut off due to some glitch. HA!
So there you have it. Gird your loins! More so if you’re a lady, because the GOP is coming for your votes and your wombs. Let’s celebrate with a deposit on a house in Costa Rica.
